Couple Who Worship Different Pantheons

[graveghoul]

I'm pagan and primarily incorporate Hecate in my practice and I identify more as a witch. My boyfriend on the other hand is Asatru and more religious, or as he states, "not only a religion but a lifestyle" and even though we get along famously, I was curious if there are other couples out there that have the same issue of different pantheons under the same roof? How do we meet on common ground? I've tried finding similarities between the two pantheons so that we can celebrate certain holy days together but have come up unsuccessful. We each respect and acknowledge each other's deities and their importance but I struggle with making this pagan experience more whole between us. I understand that some people have much deeper issues with interfaith dilemmas and I should be grateful for the understanding he shows me but I just want to know if anyone else had a similar situation and how they dealt with it? Zeus vs Odin is somewhat difficult and we are both set on our pantheon.

[Kat]

yes you should be grateful you re both pagan. meaning you ll not get married the christian/the islamic way but have a handfasting. maybe I get ahead of myself speaking about marriage since you say he s just a boyfriend. have you thought how you d raise a kid? hopefully not as a religious fanatic. my point is, better focus on the good things you have, instead of the negative and what you don't have.
I was with an atheist boyfriend for 7 years. I realized some religions merge into one. not anyone converting; but getting in contact; effecting one another and learning about the other's path, to broaden your horizons. I d say take the opportunity to learn from each other e.g. what asatru is. get info from him; not convert.
it's not versus, e.g. zeus VS odin; it's PLUS. meaning zeus plus odin.
imagine what choices would a beginner have; not abrahamic.

[graveghoul]

Thank you so much for your positive outlook. I suppose human nature is always to want more and it might have gotten the better of me. Yes we've discussed how we would raise a child and we would approach it very carefully and wait til the child is ready to ask questions. I have learned quite a bit from him and his personal stance on Asatru and i do enjoy its stability and family values. But yes youre right. I dont want to convert. A child product would have to decide what they prefer and what made more sense to them. Thank you for your input

[Vesca]

I follow Staroverci as a somewhat-recon (as close as I can anyway). My husband is a non-practicing Catholic. We do alright.

He has always been open to listening to what my holidays are about, and how I celebrate them. And frankly, when he heard there was always copious amounts of alcohol, good food, and lust involved, he was all for it.

I don't sacrifice any of my beliefs for his benefit, and he doesn't sacrifice any of his beliefs for mine. I practice as I will, and I respect the things he feels he needs to as well. It's all about the understanding, the communication, and respecting each other's beliefs and customs as a whole. There is no point trying to force one belief, or parts of a belief, onto your partner because in the end what is going to happen is a series of arguments and likely some harsh ultimatums.

If you feel like you need to sit down and have this talk with your partner, I would seriously recommend doing so. Sooner than later is better, and you (as a couple) will be stronger for it.

[Seraphin]

My pantheon is composed of Yoruba, Celtic, Hindu, Greek/Hellenestic, Santeria, Semitic and Daemonic, while my fiancee is Native American, Norse, Egyptian, Greek, Semitic and Daemonic. Our general beliefs are pretty similar in many ways, but not similar enough for my fiancee.

Even before we got engaged and lived together, she made it very clear that her beliefs and her pantheon will remain the same. Many years later, today, we're still happily together. We do celebrate witchy Sabats and other feasts of our Gods and Goddesses, but both of us still remain in our chosen path, faith and pantheon. We both learned to look past the differences of our two belief systems and to appreciate what we have in common instead.

I actually wanted to list steps on how couples and families can navigate this forking road. But then I realized that each couple is different, with a unique way of addressing this kind of situation.

In how we overcame our differences concerning our pantheon and our beliefs, two things stood out. The first is a complete and honest awareness and agreement on the future of our relationship. It's important to talk about what we're willing to compromise on and what's nonnegotiable. The second is deep mutual respect for each other's spiritual views and perceptions. This seems to be the cornerstone upon which we as a couple was built.

[SnowCat]

It's possible that your respective deities have worked to bring you together to foster a deeper understanding of different paths. My husband is pretty much non-denominational, but he's fine with my paganism. My pantheon is eclectic, to put it mildly. Egyptian, Norse and Celtic all rubbing elbows and getting along. Not something I would have planned. But they called, and I answered. As long as you and your boyfriend respect each other and your paths, I believe you'll find a way to share your celebrations.

Snow