Abusive situation - Need advice

[WalnutDryad]

My father is terrorizing my whole family. He is abusive, controlling and basically a spoiled brat in shape of a grown man. I am almost 30 years of age, and forced to live with my parents and grandfather because in my country its very hard to get a home of your own, well that and 90% of the money I earned I gave to my family, because my parents are also having a hard time earning money, despite the both of them having jobs.

I do not know what to do anymore. I'm at wits end and today yet again, a peaceful family lunch was turned into a verbal fight (almost to the brink of physical violence), because apparently my father is bothered by anything and everything my brother says and does. I had a very hard time controlling myself not to throw something at him.
Granted I inherited my father's temper, but I would never hurt the ones I love like he does. But I also seem to be the only one in this family who believes something must be done. My mother keeps finding excuses for him, he's sick, or he's angry because we're poor.

He is a sick and delusional man, and he makes other people miserable. I want to do something, but I do not know where to ask for help. Looking for something that would be diplomatic and low key. Despite my desperation it is not an out of control situation. Just tired, so tired of these fights and stressful situations.

Talking to him is not an option. Talking to my family, again, while not impossible, is hard. I have already discussed the idea of him getting professional help, and while they agreed they also shut this idea down. Therapy and psychiatry is still tabu in Romania, and my family seems reluctant to the idea. I have no one to talk about this with. I need help as well, anxiety-disorder, depression and panic attacks are becoming something quite normal for me.

[Xiao Rong]

Walnut Dryad, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Your father sounds really terrible, and there really aren't any excuses for what he's doing. I think you're totally right in this situation about the fact that there's no way a man like your father is going to go seek therapy or counseling for his behavior. Absolutely, members of the forum are always here if you need to talk - please feel free to PM me if you would like (I can try to help as best as I can, although I'm not very familiar with what life is like in Romania and what kind of resources are available)

A couple of things -

1. What do your brother and mother feel about the situation? Your mother, you mentioned, is looking for excuses for him; how about your brother? Are they aware that they're in an abusive situation? (it's crazy the amount of denial that some people will go through ... )

2. I'm really worried about your physical safety (and that of your mother and brother). What kind of ways might there be to keep yourselves safe while your father is in one of his outbursts? Would it be possible, say, to do something like pretend you need to run an errand when you can tell he's about to explode? Or maybe stay with a friend until it's over? There might also be some long-term tactics you can use, like trying to save up a little money secretly on the side so he can't spend it on whatever, or trying to keep a secret secondary email account for your mother?

3. Maybe you can consider using some protection spells or binding spells? Either protection for yourself and your family, or spells to contain his negative energy ... ? We have a load of such spells on the forum. You can also try grounding techniques for yourself, just for a little of self-care ... (I suggest magical means as a supplement, not a replacement, to non-magical resources and strategies).

Finally, I just wanted to say that you are clearly a strong, caring woman, and your mother and brother are really lucky to have someone like you looking out for them. Again, please feel free to PM me if you want to talk more in private; I am happy to talk (even if I may reply a little slowly).

[WalnutDryad]

Xiao, I can't tell you how much your reply means to me. This has been the first time I came out telling about the reality of the situation in my family, and it already feels like a load has been taken of my heart. Its very hard to talk about it, but today, I felt like I needed to share this, and this forum felt like the safest and welcoming place to do it. Turns out it was a good call. Thank you for taking the time to answer me and for offering to hear my problem and to help. You have my gratitude and blessings.

1. My brother is also in denial, like my mother. He insists that while my father has issues, that he's not a bad person.

2. Generally its best if my father is ignored when he gets his outbursts, but that doesn't always happen, especially if he interferes with the activities of others. My safety isn't really in jeopardy as he never actively attacks me unless I actually get in his face about him being abusive, and he has yet to cause me any injury. But I cannot leave the house knowing my mom and brother are with him when he's like that. I prefer to be around in case things escalate, to try and break up the fight or to distract him. Distracting him is generally the best solution so far.
I love the idea of setting up a stash of money that he wouldn't know and have access too, so that we have something to fall on, in the case that we run out of money. I'm gonna apply that one, thank you so much for the idea. I've already suggested a secret e-mail account for my mom, but she said she doesn't want one, because she has a strong belief that spouses should never keep things from each other. Though keeping one would be easy for her, since my father isn't very bright when it comes to computers.

3. The spells for containing bad energy sound like a good idea, I will search the site for a couple, its the first time I hear about them.
Of course, like you said magick is more of a supplement, but a very welcome one right now. I generally just put up a few basic light shields around me and my home, but in this case grounding spells and protection spells sound really good. Perhaps the best thing is to start with some grounding and negativity warding spells.. I'm a bit new at the whole witch thing, so not sure if I'm going to do them right. Generally I keep to reading cards and admiring nature, spells are new to me.

Thank you so much again, and please do not worry too much about me, you have done me already tremendous good, by just saying what you did, and offering your help. And you just helped me realize that I am not alone in this. It helps me greatly to know that.

Many blessings!

PS. no worries about late replies, I'm not very quick with replies myself :B

[Firebird]

Hi Dryad, First off I'd like to say you are incredibly brave and strong to come to us to talk about this. I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I myself am all to familiar with the scenario, and I'm sad to say it isn't likely to get better. The general progression is that it gets worse. The abuser seeks to control all, that includes money, people you see, things you do...and would NEVER admit they have a problem....so it is no surprise that the whole family is suffering. The effects it can have on your mental and physical health is very detrimental and can cause long term problems. You mentioned being angry, and you have every right...but that can bleed over into any relationships you have, thus perpetuating the problem. I looked for resources in your country...and you're right, I can't even find a hotline...Is it possible for you to call outside the country?...because there is a link to the hotline here in the US on this forum.
http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum ... 25403.html
They also have a page that may give some insights and suggestions.

Getting help in a country that doesn't recognize or address the problem, or chooses to let it be taboo must be very frustrating. We are all human with basic human needs, if those aren't being met, you have every right as a human to seek to make it better...who knows...perhaps you could be a pioneer in your country.
But first you must remain safe, have an escape plan...
The things Xiao suggested are really good.
I am also available to PM when ever you like.
>>hugging you<< Firebird

[TheGirlOfSecrets]

Sometimes the people we are closest to are the ones that abuse us. Be honest with yourself about what you've been through and are dealing with now as a result of your abusive father. Be realistic about outcomes. Realize that you can't miss what you never had. Forgiveness heals, so forgive your father even if he doesn't deserve it to free your own heart and soul. You must learn to detach yourself emotionally from your father. Prayer is a powerful resource. Violence is never the answer.

I can't honestly say that I know what you're going through, because my family is loving most of the time. I would say maybe see a family therapist but to be honest I don't think your father would agree to going. Do you think he knows that he is being violent towards the people he should love? Maybe he just freaks out and doesn't know how to show his emotions? Hope this helps, and this might have sounded like it's your fault, but when people are bullies or abusing you, it's never your fault xx

[WalnutDryad]

@Firebird, thank you for the kind words. I definitely do not want to be angry, and will do my best to make sure it doesn't get the best of me, anger is useless. All I want is to protect my family, and I feel to be rather useless at doing that. Perpetuating the problem is not even an option (assuming you think I might take the same road as he does and take my anger out on my friends or family and such). Granted I am damaged, but it manifests more with me being anxious/depressed/paranoid all the time, and withdrawn, talking to other people is very hard. Even talking to you guys over the internet takes out a lot of me.
As for my father, the more controlling he tries to be, the more he looses control, and it will be easier for me to convince the rest of my family to take action and get him some professional help. Nothing much else I can do at the moment, but I will read over the site you linked me and see what useful information I can get from there. Though right now, my best bet would be to polish my conflict resolution skills and document myself on what makes people like him behave the way he does, learn how he thinks and what sets him off. I don't want to take an emotional route to this, because that will get me nowhere.


@TheGirlOfSecrets

Thank you for trying to help, but you telling me that maybe I do not pray hard enough, or that my father should be forgiven are things you perhaps do not want to say to someone in my situation.
Also getting therapy, while I already looked up a few reliable therapists, but cannot afford at the moment.

[Kassandra]

.




Help for Romanian Domestic Violence Victims

Hi WalnutDryad. Actually, there are laws in place in Romania to address domestic violence. Law 217/2003 establishes this policy, and Law 25/2012 amends and augments its scope. See “Violence Against Women in Romania” website text I pasted at the very bottom of this post, which summarizes these laws. Now, the extent to which these laws are actually enforced in the real world, however, may be another matter. That’s often the case here in America, too, so don’t feel bad. Oftentimes, the wording in these things is so lofty, but you have to fight hard to actually get the government to enforce these laws on your behalf. It helps to work with a private foundation of some sort behind you. Otherwise, your case could just get lost in the system.

Anyway, the website says according to Romanian national law, domestic violence victims are entitled to free medical care, legal aid, and most importantly, to request a restraining order against abusers. There are about 59 government and privately run shelters providing free accommodation, food, assistance and counseling services, as well as 23 other facilities which provide only support and counseling services. But, again, the actual quality of these facilities will most likely vary greatly. So, you will have to do the research and check them out for yourself. I would look into this as soon as possible, so your family will have an exit strategy in place, if need be.

Nice, well-meaning women like your mom believe, “good women don’t leave their husbands.” So, they tend stay...until death in some cases. Such was the case with someone very close to me. She actually managed to leave her abusive, alcoholic, drug-using husband. But, then she felt “guilty” about leaving, and went back to him. We buried her three years ago. That’s one reason I feel passionate about this issue, today.

I hope the following suggestions help your situation. As firebirdflys said, feel free to PM me anytime if you'd like.



Document Everything

Abusers tend to need to hit “rock bottom” before they will ever admit needing help, which often means somebody will need to be jailed, hospitalized and/or killed before the abuser wakes up and gets a clue. If your situation does escalate, which it most likely will since your father is not receiving any kind of treatment, then you guys may very well need to leave, stay at someone’s house or one of the shelters mentioned above, and get a restraining order against your dad. My suggestion is starting today, start building a paper trail. Document everything. Most abusive people are very good actors and convincingly shift the blame on others, and thus totally get away with their abuse. Victims need to be very savvy, diligent and consistent about putting together a strong case.


• KEEP A DETAILED, UP-TO-DATE DIARY
In it, document all his abusive behavior, especially all examples of controlling behavior, no matter how small an incident you may think it is (like taking someone’s phone away from them, etc., which is psychological abuse). Abuse victims tend to downplay things; don't do it. Keep telling yourself, "Everything Counts" and document everything. Document every temper tantrum he throws, and be sure to include the reason he got angry in order to demonstrate how irrational his thinking abilities are. Rather than write vague, general statements, it’s best to be very specific.

For example, rather than write, “He gets angry at really small things, and starts yelling and breaking things,” instead write something like, “Tonight at 9:15pm, because my mom didn’t agree with him that the president is, as he put it, 'a fantastic guy,’ he got up from the chair, yelled in her face and called her a [quote his exact words], then punched a hole in the wall behind her head with his fist. Prior to this argument, he had drunk two bottles of red wine after dinner by himself,” etc. Be sure to include good photos of damage done to the wall, etc. In fact, this leads me to my next suggestion…


• TAKE PHOTOS OF ALL INJURIES ON FAMILY MEMBERS’ BODIES,
AND ALL DAMAGE TO THE HOME DONE BY YOUR FATHER
Again, document everything, no matter how small and insignificant you think it is. Your mom may object to this, but try to talk her into it best you can. If you can't, just take stealth snapshots as much as you need to. Photos would be extremely valuable in making a case demonstrating the extent of abuse and damage he’s done.


• OBTAIN ANY PAST POLICE REPORTS ON HIM
With his temper, he may have gotten into a fight with someone at a bar that you don't know about, and for instance, the owner may have called the police, and the police may have filed a report about it. Look for and obtain those kinds of records. Again, there may have been altercations that you don't know about, so it wouldn't hurt to just look. For a small fee, you might actually be able to access these records online, if any exist. Also, if anyone from his family makes comments about his temper, like when he was growing up or something, any testimonies of his behavior write down. The goal is to show solid documentation that his current behavior is part of a long pattern that he continues to perpetuate, without remorse.



Counseling for Everyone

Domestic violence is just devastating. Victims of it need mental healthcare as much as abusers do. If your situation ever gets resolved successfully, and your dad is either arrested and/or gets into a treatment program for his alcoholism/violent behavior, and everybody’s safe and life goes on, it would be great if all of you get therapy, but it seems like you know that already. Since you’re the only clear one in the situation, you will probably be the one tasked with making sure that happens. From the wording of the laws that I saw, it seems like this service should be provided free of charge to you all. But, you will have to research the details on that as they apply in your area. Although you're probably already aware of these, here are concerns to consider (I'm writing these not only for you, but also for others who might be going through this, or know someone who is --we live in a very violent world):

For You
It’s been an emotional "war zone" for all of you, and there’s a good possibility you all will need help for some kind of symptoms of PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder. Though you’re 30 now and probably feel fine despite the anxiety you mentioned you're experiencing over this, you would be surprised at how PTSD can sneak up on you later in life, like in your 40s and beyond, and how easily it's triggered by situations and people, in ways you weren’t even expecting. Symptoms manifest themselves differently for different people: some succumb to prescription drug or alcohol addiction, some develop hyper-sensitivity to loud sounds and voices, some develop odd dissociative behaviors, some can't get out of their long term depression, some develop eating disorders, some constantly have relationship issues...some experience all of the above! So, just physically getting away from an abuser is not the end; it is only the beginning. It is only a first step, which must be followed by good counseling, and maybe medication, as well.

For Brother
All forms of abuse tend to continue inter-generationally within a family. The primary male role model in a boy’s life is his father, and it’s not a good sign that your brother is already making excuses for your dad’s behavior. It might mean that your brother has subconsciously learned that it’s OK to handle stress by using alcohol and violence. Unless he gets “deprogrammed” from what he experienced with your father, there is a strong possibility that he may be the same way with his wife and family one day, and so will his son, and so on. If he doesn’t address them right now, any "demons" possibly lurking in the back of his mind (that he learned from dad) might manifest in his life later on, without him even expecting them to.

For Mom
It seems like there’s some kind of Stockholm’s Syndrome-like condition that abuse victims acquire. Here's another example: the woman who wrote the following post on a forum just today (see link at end of paragraph) feels “very guilty” about leaving her abusive boyfriend, despite enduring physical, emotional and financial abuse. While she has gotten herself to safety thanks to family and friends, still she believes she somehow “could have done something to make this situation different.” Note: you cannot "fix" an addict, an abuser, or an addict/abuser. So, while getting understanding from an online forum community is nice, she still desperately needs survivor counseling for her co-dependency issues, immediately, before she returns to the very dangerous situation from which she escaped ... which may, as it did my friend, cost her her life. See: “I feel very guilty after leaving my abusive boyfriend."



Various Resources

Cover Your Tracks Online
This probably doesn’t apply to your situation, since you say your dad isn’t very computer-savvy, anyway. Still, I’m posting it anyway so that it might help others reading this who may need this information. Though you’re able to use the internet outside of the house, some people reading this may be stuck in their abusive homes for whatever reason (illness, etc.), and it’s dangerous for them if their controlling abusers discover they’ve been searching for help online, so here it is... http://www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp?se ... 0800010001


Abuse Survivors' Forums
By the way, you might want to join the message board forums on the site above too (http://www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp?se ... vors+Forum), so you could share your experience with others going through the same thing right now. It's based in the UK, so maybe someone on there is more familiar with European resources near you, than we would be. Also, always feel free to share with any of us your situation, but realize that since everyone here hasn't gone through this, you might get well-meaning but very unhelpful things written on here. Additionally, be advised that there are varying age ranges here, so some postings to this thread may actually be written by children. They have limited life experiences, so you very well may find their well-intended comments rather offensive. lol Therefore, you might find that a message board where all the other posters are in, or have been in, a similar situation to be a little more helpful for you right now...but you're always welcomed here.



Other Resources
(note: I don't know how outdated any of the following info might be)

County-by-county Listing of Romanian Domestic Violence Resources
These include counseling services.
Website: http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum ... ml#p185712

Casa Blu helpline: 021 311 46 36 - Romanian national women’s 24/7 helpline covering all forms of violence against women, run by Sensiblu Foundation. There is a charge.
Website: http://78.142.150.50/sites/wave.local/f ... OMANIA.pdf

Children’s Phone: 116 111 - Despite its name, it is also a national Romanian helpline for all domestic violence. It is free of charge, open from 08.00-12.00, seven days a week.
Website: http://78.142.150.50/sites/wave.local/f ... OMANIA.pdf

Survivor's Handbook
Even if she doesn't want to look at it, give this to your mom anyway (maybe put it in her purse or something, don't even say anything about it). Website: http://www.womensaid.org.uk/landing_pag ... 0100080004

Home for Abused Women (located in Ilfov County, outside Bucharest)
For more information, contact:
John Torres, Senior Public Relations Manager
for ADRA (builders of the home)
301.680.6357 (office)
301.680.6370 (fax)
John.Torres@adra.org
Website: http://www.adra.org/site/News2?page=New ... e&id=10163








Finally, here's that website text I mentioned in the first paragraph. A link to the original site follows the text:

VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN IN ROMANIA

In May 2003, Romania adoptedLaw 217/2003, which targeted the prevention and the punishment of domestic violence.[22] . This legislation established the National Agency for Family Protection (“NAFP”) within the Ministry of Labour, Family and Equal Opportunities, provided standards for counseling offices and shelters for victims, and defined domestic violence as “any physical or verbal action deliberately perpetrated by a family member against another member of the same family, resulting in physical, psychological, sexual suffering or material loss.”[23] Domestic violence also includes encroachments on women's fundamental rights and freedom. Law 217/2003 further addresses the role of social workers, prevention measures, mediation, shelters, protection measures and sanctions. The NAFP is charged with implementing protective strategies, training, funding, educating, creating shelters and hotlines, collecting data and setting up rehabilitation centers for both victims and perpetrators. Law 211/2004, which was adopted in 2004, expands upon Law 217/2003 and affords victims the right to free psychological counseling and legal support, as well as financial compensation from the Government. Despite the adoption of these laws, however, effective implementation remains a challenge within Romania’s social, economic and political environment.[24]

In March 2012, Romania adopted Law 25/2012, amending Law 217/2003. The new legislation (a) amended the definition of domestic violence to include verbal, psychological, physical, sexual or spiritual violence, (b) allowed victims to request a court order of protection and a restraining order against the abuser, and (c) provided that the victim is entitled to respect to personality, privacy, dignity, special protection, counseling, rehabilitation, reintegration, free medical care, and legal aid.[25] Perhaps the most significant of these provisions is the provision allowing a victim to seek an order of protection and restraining order, which can be used to prohibit an abuser from remaining or returning to the family home (even if it is his property) or contacting the victim, require the abuser to keep a minimal distance from the property, and force the abuser to bear some costs, such as medical and court expenses.[26] Law 25/2012 also provides for some penalties to the abuser, including psychological testing, psychological counseling, detoxification programs and fines.[27]

At the end of 2012, there existed 59 government and privately run shelters providing free accommodation, food, assistance and counseling services, as well as 23 other facilities which provided only support and counseling services.[28] Unfortunately, according to the 2012 Country Report on Human Rights Practices in Romania, these service centers were insufficient in number and too unevenly distributed to adequately address the widespread nature of domestic violence within Romania as a whole.[29]

Romania, through its Directorate for Child Protection (DPC), in partnership with NGOs, continues its attempt to curb domestic violence by implementing programs aimed at prevention and providing better conditions and support services to victims of domestic violence.[30] Recently, Romania has launched a national initiative in order to combat violence against women and raise public awareness of the issue. This effort involves the action of radio and TV stations, NGOs, the Territorial Authority of Public Order from the county level, the County Council, the Labor and Social Protection Directorate, the General Directorate of Social Assistance and Child Protection, and the County School Inspectorate.[31] Further, during 2011-2012, Romania created the specialized web site http://www.politiaromana.ro/prevenire [note: this website is bogus at this time, maybe it's still under construction? --Kassandra], which represents a new source of information and preventive recommendation that is easily accessed by all citizens.[32]

Text source: http://www.stopvaw.org/romania2


Good luck.



.

[WalnutDryad]

Kassandra, wow! That is some serious documentation and helpful information. And I am so sorry to hear about your friend, no one should ever go through something like that.

Please rest assured, while there are many kinds of abusers, my father is not on the level that would escalate to something so severe (while violent he has yet to actually injure any of us, he does not get drunk,thinks going to pubs is stupid, and does not have a record - there's also the advantage that we stick together in these crisis situations, so he cannot go all out because he is outnumbered). We do not let him get away with any of his outbursts. Even if they brush them off as something tolerable, that doesn't mean he can get away with them. We are a strong bunch. We are not dominated by him, just that we also do not have peace.
I will use the advice and resources that you kind people have given me, to make the best out of this. (- however it must be a joint effort with my family to make a change for the better - and he really needs help, not a restraining order, but psychiatric help - I'm working on making connections in that department).
And please do not worry! I'll keep you guys posted. Thank you so much for all the help, and support, and well wishes.

Blessings to you all!

[Kassandra]

.


No problem, and thanks for the kind words about my friend. Yeah, it still haunts me. Before things got really bad, she called me at 4am one morning. She asked me to pick her up because her husband was beating her. She wanted to run. My significant other advised me to stay in bed and let it go. I thought if she was in the news tomorrow, I would feel a bit responsible on some level, because I ignored her cry for help. In good faith, I had to try.

When I got there, she opened the door and said, "Mind your own business," and slammed the door on me. I knew her creepy husband was standing behind the door, telling her to say that or else (which she confirmed later, and apologized). She was a hostage in her own house. It still haunts me. When I got back in bed, I told him he was right, there's nothing I can do. I knew it was just a matter of time before news of her death, didn't take a psychic to see that coming. And, a few years later, so it was.

Anywhoo, I just found this county-by-county listing of domestic violence resources (including counseling) in Romania, see below. I didn't know which county you were in, so I just copied and pasted the whole thing, lol. Maybe it will help someone else, too (we actually do have several members who live in Romania). The website address for all this is located at the bottom of the list.

WalnutDryad, make sure to start documenting everything, starting today. You will actually be helping your father get the psychiatric help he needs, and probably medical help, because of his addictions to alcohol and rage (I noticed for whatever reason, you edited the OP and took out all references to this --that's OK, but I do have to mention it so readers will know I didn't just make that up). It's a lot less confusing for doctors if everything is documented, rather than several people telling them different things.

Well, all the best to you, and I wish you and your family happy holidays! : )


_____________________________________________________________




Bucharest

National Center for Assistance to Victims of Domestic Violence – Legal counseling, psychological assistance, medical assistance. Blvd. Gheorghe Magheru nr. 6 – 8, Et. 5, Sector 1. Hotline: 021-9833.

Center for victims of domestic violence “Patriarh Justinian Marina” of the Orthodox Church's NGO "Asociatia Diaconia" – Shelter for women and children (for up to three months), judicial counseling, psychological assistance, social assistance (35 beds), Tel: 021-316.98.76, 313.37.45, or 031-100.64.27, E-mail: asociatiadiaconia@yahoo.com.

„Sfânta Maria” Shelter, Social Services Sector 6 – Shelter, medical assistance and care, psychological and judicial counseling, free legal aid, medico-legal certificates (6 beds), Tel: 021-371.63.11.

Sensiblue Foundation – Counseling center, legal aid, support groups, financial assistance, assistance to replace identity documents, register with family physician, assistance to find housing and jobs, assists victims in their dealings with state agencies - Piata Alba Iulia nr. 3, bl. I2, sc. 1, et. 4, ap. 20, sector3, Tel/Fax. 021-311.46.36, E-mail: fundatiassb@adpharma.ro, Website: http://www.adpharma.ro.

“Casa Blu” Center, Sensiblu Foundation – Shelter, psychological, legal and social counseling, legal aid, financial assistance (16 beds), Tel: 021-301.74.74; 021-344.46.36, Fax: 021-301.74.75, E-mail: cristina.horia@adpharma.ro.

“A New Chance” Center for Abusers, Social Services – Counseling, social assistance, psychiatric evaluations, mediation. Str. Salcetului nr.5, sector 4, Tel: 021-314.23.16, E-mail: dgas_mb@yahoo.co.uk.

Geron House – Assistance for senior citizens, Tel: 021-423.2472.

Polimed Apaca Hospital with the Bucharest Police Inspectorate – Shelter (6 beds), 7 Iuliu Maniu St, Tel. 021-410.00.92.



Alba County

Social Services Alba-Iulia, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Regina Maria nr. 2, Alba-Iulia, Tel 0258-812.736, Fax. 0258-819.846, E-mail: dgmss_01@apulum.ro.


Temporary Shelter, Social Services Alba – Shelter (6 beds) and counseling services, Tel/fax: 0258-810.325, E-mail: adelac@apulum.ro.

Emergency Center Cugir, Cugir Hospital with the County Police Department – Shelter (6 beds), medical assistance, counseling services. Tel: 0258-750.738, E-mail: spas_cugir@yahoo.com.

Center for Abusers - Str. Gheorghe Asachi nr. 13 A+ str. Victoriei nr. 9, Cugir, jud. Alba, Tel: 0258 750 738, E-mail: deliasterca@yahoo.com.

Social center "Sfânta Varvara" Abrud – Counseling center. Str. Cetatii nr. 1, Abrud, Tel: 0727-873.929, E-mail: opsc_alba@yahoo.com.



Arad County

Social Services, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Gh. Lazar nr. 20, Arad, Tel: 0257-280.157 or 280.178, Fax: 0257-281.703, E-mail: dgmss-ar@inext.ro.

“TEOFANIA” Center Arad, Renincoor Open Hand” Foundation – Shelter, (for 7 to 60 days, 12 beds available), primary medical assistance, counseling (psychological and legal), professional training. Provides food and pharmaceuticals, staff can accompany victims to various offices to obtain medico-legal certificates, copies of vital records, and facilitate access to social services. Tel/Fax: 0257 – 279.386.

„ALTER EGO” Center for Abusers Arad, “Renincoor Open Hand” Foundation – Counseling, social assistance, psychiatric evaluation, victim – abuser mediation. Str. Vasile Goldis nr. 11, Arad, Tel: 0744-850.795, E-mail: alin_moanea@yahoo.com.



Arges County

Social Services, Domestic Violence Department - Str. I.C. Bratianu nr.32, Pitesti, Tel: 0248-222.347, Fax: 0248-222.245, E-mail: dgmssag@geostar.ro.

Emergency Center Costesti, “Hercules” Foundation – Shelter for women and their children (7 – 60 days, 6 beds), medical care, psychological assistance, counseling services. Tel/Fax: 0248-673.384, E-mail: asociatiahercules@yahoo.com.



Bacau County

Social Services Bacau, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Ionita Sandu Sturza nr. 63/A, Bacau, Tel 0234-510.083, 510.082, Fax: 0234-588.605, E-mail: dgmssbacau@yahoo.com.

Family Center, Social Services Bacau – Shelter, counseling, psychological assistance, medical assistance, Tel 0234-588.904.

Counseling Center for Prevention of Domestic Violence – Legal counseling, psychological assistance. Str. Stefan cel Mare nr.17, Bacau, Tel: 0234-581.643

“Tulip Center”, Bethany Christian Charity Association, The Netherlands – Residential type shelter for abandoned or abused children (unlimited duration), counseling for children and family, social reintegration to family and local community, professional training, socializing, assistance to live an independent life (20 beds). Tel 0234-586.940, Fax. 0234-586.791.

Counseling Center Foundation for Local Initiative – social assistance, counseling services, support groups for victims of domestic violence. Tel: 0234-176.308 or 176.309, Fax: 0234-176.305, E-mail: filbac@spidernet.ro.



Bihor County

Social Services Bihor - Str. Feldioarei nr. 2, Oradea, Tel: 0359-409.285, 0259--476.371, E-mail: dgaspcbh@rdsor.ro, Website: http://www.dgaspcbihor.ro/.

Social Services Center for Victims of Domestic Violence - Str. Str. Traian Lalescu nr. 3, Oradea, Tel: 0259-454.885, Fax: 0259-441.702, E-mail: dgmss_bh@dgmss.rdsor.ro, Website: http://dgmss.rdsor.ro.

Shelter, “Smiles” Foundation – Shelter (10 beds), food, medical assistance, counseling, psychological assistance, assistance for employment. Tel: 0259-318.052, E-mail: georgi@thesmilesfoundation.org.



Bistrita-Nasaud County

Social Services Bihor, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Liviu Rebreanu nr. 59 Bistrita, Tel/Fax: 0263-213.753; 0263-232.790, Fax. 0263-213.753. E-mail: ddfssbn@bistrita.astral.ro.

“ProFamily Association” – Counseling Center. Facilitates access to medical assistance and helps obtain documents needed by the victims to resolve their situation. Assistance for employment, reintegration in family and society, contraception and family planning. str. Gheorghe Pop de Basesti nr.1, Bistrita, Tel: 0263-233.101.



Botosani County

Social Services Botosani, Domestic Violence Department - Calea Nationala nr. 85, Botosani, Tel: 0231-536.726 / ext. 113, Fax. 0231-515.331, E-mail: dgmss_bt@hotmail.com.

Counseling Center, Local Council Tudora Village - Tel: 0231-589.120 (village clinic).

“ACTIV” Foundation Botosani - Shelter, support groups, counseling services, legal aid, Tel/Fax: 0231-518.675, Email: active@petar.ro



Braila County

Social Services Braila, Domestic Violence Department – Calea Calarasilor nr. 19, 810017 Braila, Tel: 0239-611.498, Fax. 0239-625.411, E-mail: ddfssbr@braila.astral.ro

Emergency Center „Casandra” – Self-catering type shelter (10 beds), medical assistance, psychological assistance, social assistance. Tel: 0239-613.928, E-mail: sediu@fundatia-lumina.ro, Website: http://www.fundatia-lumina.ro.

Counseling Center, Social Services Braila - Psychological assistance. Str. Iezerului nr.1, Braila, Tel: 0239-614.583, Fax: 0239-694.865, E-mail: dgaspc@braila.



Brasov

Social Services Fagaras – Shelter and Counseling Center – temporary shelter, psychological assistance, legal aid, medical assistance, training for jobs and trades (8 beds). Tel: 0268-214.998.

“Cinderella” Counseling Center for Women and Teenagers, Brasov – Counseling, psychotherapy. Str. Muresenilor nr. 5, Brasov, Tel: 0268-475.913 or 0268-566-343, Fax: 0268-257.037.

“House of Hope” Brasov – Psychological and legal counseling. Str. Colonel Buzoianu nr. 2, Brasov, Tel: 0268-471.347.

San Petru Shelter, House of Hope – Shelter, counseling, social assistance, medical assistance (8 beds). Tel: 0268-471.347.

"Emmanuel" Center, Ghimbav – Shelter for women and children (ages 1 – 24 months), psychotherapy, support groups, counseling (6 beds). Tel: 0268-418.797.



Buzau County

Social Services Buzau, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Unirii bl. 11 D-E, Buzau, Tel/Fax: 0238-722.027.

Emergency Center “Domestic Violence”, “Sf.Sava” Foundation for Children – Shelter (1 - 14 days, 8 beds), counseling services for children and family, social services, medical assistance. Tel: 0238-714.000, Tel/Fax: 0238-710.349, E-mail: sfsavabz@buzau.ro; sfsava@yahoo.com, Website: http://www.sfsava.buzau.ro.



Calarasi County

Social Services Calarasi, Department for Domestic Violence - Str. Flacara nr. 18A, Calarasi, Tel 0242-314.552 ext. 20, Fax. 0242-318.960, 311.707 or 315.213, E-mail: dmssfcl@satline.ro.



Caras County

Social Services Caras, Department for Domestic Violence - Str. Traian Lalescu nr. 27, Resita, Tel: 0255-210.725, Fax. 0255-210.725; 0255-213.946, E-mail: dgmss@cs.ro; asistsoc@cs.ro.

„PRO VITAM” House, “PRO VITAM” Foundation Resita – Shelter(6 beds), medical assistance, social services, counseling services and professional training, assistance to obtain identity documents, vital records and medico-legal certificates. Tel/Fax: 0255-226.659, E-mail: provitam_resita@yahoo.com.



Cluj County

Social Services Cluj, Department for Domestic Violence - Str. George Cosbuc nr. 2, Cluj-Napoca, Tel 0264-597.125, Fax. 0264-598.060, E-mail: ddfsscj@cluj.astral.ro, Website: http://www.ddfsscj.ro.

Social Services Center for Adults – Shelter (12 beds), counseling services. Tel 0264-366.832 or 0264-368.462.

Domestic Violence Center Campia Turzii, Social Services and Child Protection – Shelter (7 – 60 days, 12 beds), Tel: 0264-368.462.

County Center for Abused Children – Shelter (14 beds), counseling services for children and family, Tel: 0264-430.909.

Shelter and Counseling Center “ARTEMIS”, Women Against Violence Association – prevention, assistance for children victims of sexual abuse, counseling services. Str. Rene Descartes nr. 6, Tel/Fax: 0264-598.155. Email: afiv-artemis@cluj.astral.ro, secretar_afiv_titkar@yahoo.com.



Constanta County

Social Services Constanta, Department for Domestic Violence - Str. Decebal nr. 13C, Constanta, Tel 0241-612.597, Fax. 0241-694.337, E-mail: dmsscta@yahoo.co.uk.

Counseling Center for parents and children, Social Services - Tel: 0241-488.648.

Emergency Center „Sfânta Maria”, City Council Cernavoda (with support and assistance from Sfanta Maria Hospital, Police Department, Saint Andrew Church, Roman Catholic Church, Baptist Church and the Muslim Community) – Shelter (20 beds) and counseling services. Tel/Fax: 0241-238.030; 0241-238.433, E-mail: cristina_tone@yahoo.com, tonecristina@primaria-cernavoda.ro.



Covasna County

Social Services Covasna, Department for Domestic Violence - Str. Grigore Balan nr. 14, Sf. Gheorghe, Tel/Fax: 0267-311917, E-mail: dgmsscovasna@planet.ro.

Sfantu Gheorghe Social Assistance – Shelter for women and children (14 beds), psychological assistance, therapy, legal counseling. Tel: 0267-312.111.

“Pro Nobis” Counseling Center – psychological assistance, group therapy, individual and family therapy. Str. Grigore Balan nr.41, Bl. 16, Ap. 1, Sf. Gheorghe, Tel./Fax: 0267-314.354, E-mail: office@pronobis.ro.

Emergency Center, Social Services – Shelter (7 - 60 days, 6 beds), food medical care, psychological assistance, counseling services. Tel/Fax: 0267-314.660.



Dambovita County

Social Services Dambovita, Department for Domestic Violence – Str. Tudor Vladimirescu nr. 1A, Tel: 0245-606.041, Fax: 0245-211.675, E-mail: dmssfdb@minisat.ro.

Centrul Social „Sf. Maria”, Targoviste Social Services and Police Department – Shelter (6 beds), counseling, social assistance. Tel 0245-610.420.



Dolj County

Social Services Dolj, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Unirii, nr.10, Craiova. Tel/Fax: 0251-418.120 or 0251-413.449, E-mail: dgmss_16@yahoo.com.

Emergency Center for abused mothers and children – Shelter (3 beds), medical assistance, counseling services. Tel: 0251-425.797.

“Vasiliada” Association – Shelter, counseling services, emergency assistance. Tel/Fax: 0251-533.019.



Galati County

Social Services Galati, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Regimentul 11 Siret Nr. 46A, Galati, Tel: 0236-411.405 or 416.852, Fax: 0236-416.852, E-mail: dgmssgl@galati.astral.ro.

Counseling Center, Social Services - Str. Eroilor nr. 34, Galati. Tel: 0236.412.731.

Shelter and Recovery center for victims of domestic violence– Shelter, medical assistance, psychological assistance, counseling services. Tel. 0236-312.231



Giurgiu County

Social Services Giurgiu, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Independentei, bloc 106, Giurgiu, Tel: 0246-212-478, E-mail: dmssf-gr@as.ro.

Center for mothers and children victim of domestic violence, Social Services – Shelter (5 beds), medical assistance and care, counseling services, legal aid, social assistance. Tel: 0246.212.478, Fax: 0246.216.232, Emergency phone line for children: 0246-983.

Emergency center, Social Services Giurgiu – Shelter (5 beds), medical assistance, counseling services, social services. Tel: 0246-210.973, Fax: 0246-213.613



Gorj County

Social Services Gorj, Domestic Violence Department - Bd. Republicii, Bl. 14, Targu-Jiu, Tel: 0253-217020, Fax: 0253-212989, E-mail: dgmss-gj@intergorj.ro.

Emergency Center "Sanziana House" – Shelter (6 beds, 7 – 60 days), food, social assistance, medical assistance, counseling services, support for finding a job. Tel: 0253.216.494.

Emergency Center for mothers and children, Social Services Gorj – Shelter (6 beds), food, social assistance, medical assistance, counseling services, support for finding a job. Tel./Fax. 0253-226.270, E-mail: cprutg_jiu@yahoo.com.

Center for social reintegration of abusers, “Familia” Foundation – counseling and mediation services. Str. Barbosi nr. 6, Galati. Tel: 0236-477.423; 0236-470.040.

Foundation for support of senior citizens - Shelter (20 beds) and counseling services for senior citizens victim of domestic violence. Tel: 0236-470.040.



Harghita County

Social Services Harghita, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Kossuth Lajos nr. 94, Miercurea Ciuc, Tel/Fax: 0366-101249, 0366-101.250, Tel.: 0266-372.157, Fax: 0266-317.080, E-mail: dgmss-19@kabelkon.ro, Website: http://www.ddfsshr.ro.

Social Center Miercurea Ciuc – social assistance, counseling services, professional training. Tel: 0266-322.174 or 0266-315.120 ext. 115.

Family Assistance Office Miercurea Ciuc, “Caritas” Foundation– counseling services. Str. Szek, nr. 155, Miercurea Ciuc. Tel: 0741-258.150, E-mail: katalinbiro@caritas-ab.ro.

“Caritas” Foundation Alba Iulia – Family assistance programs. Tel.: 0745-431.725, E-mail: rita.kedves@caritas-ab.ro.

Family Assistance Office Gheorgheni, “Caritas” Foundation – counseling services. Str. Marton Aron nr. 9 tel. 0741-258151, E-mail: gabriella.moni@caritas-ab.ro.

Family Assistance Office Odorheiu Secuiesc – counseling services.

Persoana de contact: Csatho Judit, Str. Kossuth Lajos nr.18, Tel: 0741-258171, E-mail: judit.csato@caritas-ab.ro.



Hunedoara County

Social Services Hunedoara, Domestic Violence Department - Piata Unirii nr. 2, Deva. Tel/Fax: 0254-215.521 ext. 117; 0254-219.155 ext. 133, Fax: 0254-548.858, E-mail: dgmss_hd@comser.ro, Website: http://www.dmssf.hd.ro.

Emergency Center for abused women and children, Social Services Deva – Shelter (8 beds), medical assistance, support, counseling services. Tel: 0254-234.433.

"Casa Cristina" House for Women, Deva City Hall – Shelter, primary medical care, psychological assistance, counseling services. Tel/Fax: 0254-719.110.

Counseling Center, “Conexiuni” Foundation – prevention, psychological assistance (evaluation and counseling), counseling services, social assistance. Aleea Romanilor nr. 7, Deva, Tel/Fax: 0254-232.120, E-mail: social@mail.recep.ro; exiuni@mail.recep.ro, Website: http://www.fundatiaconexiuni.ro.

Shelter, Lupeni Social Services – Shelter (2 beds), medical assistance, counseling services, professional training. Tel: 0254-233.341, 0254-213.940, 0254-216.840, Fax: 0254-234.384

Emergency Center for children and adults Orastie, “Help the Children” Foundation – Shelter (20 beds), psychological assistance, counseling services, professional training. Tel/Fax: 0254-241.300.

„Confidence” Emergency Center Balan – Shelter (9 beds), food, medical assistance, social assistance, counseling services. Tel/Fax: 0266-330.335, 0266-330.325.



Harghita County

Social Services, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Kossuth Lajos nr. 94, Miercurea Ciuc, Tel/Fax: 0366-101249, 0366-101.250, Tel.: 0266-372.157, Fax: 0266-317.080, E-mail: dgmss-19@kabelkon.ro, Website: http://www.ddfsshr.ro.

Social Center Miercurea Ciuc – social assistance, counseling services, professional training. Tel: 0266-322.174 or 0266-315.120 ext. 115.

Family Assistance Office Miercurea Ciuc, “Caritas” Foundation– counseling services. Str. Szek, nr. 155, Miercurea Ciuc. Tel: 0741-258.150, E-mail: katalinbiro@caritas-ab.ro.

“Caritas” Foundation Alba Iulia – Family assistance programs. Tel.: 0745-431.725, E-mail: rita.kedves@caritas-ab.ro.

Family Assistance Office Gheorgheni, “Caritas” Foundation – counseling services. Str. Marton Aron nr. 9 tel. 0741-258151, E-mail: gabriella.moni@caritas-ab.ro.

Family Assistance Office Odorheiu Secuiesc – counseling services.

Persoana de contact: Csatho Judit, Str. Kossuth Lajos nr.18, Tel: 0741-258171, E-mail: judit.csato@caritas-ab.ro.



Ialomita County

Social Services, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Lacului nr. 10, 2nd Floor, Slobozia, Tel: 0243-232.028 ext. 23. Fax: 0243-236.453 or 0243-234.713.

Emergency Center Slobozia – Shelter (7 – 60 days, 9 beds), primary medical care, psychological assistance, counseling services, social assistance. Tel: 0243-231.088, 0243-216.657. Fax: 0243-233.407.



Ilfov County

Social Services, Domestic Violence Department - Sos. Afumati nr. 94 - 96, Oras Voluntari, Tel: 021-369.5886, 021-369.5887, 021-369.5889, Fax: 021-369.5888, E--mail: dmssif@hotmail.com.

Prevention Center, Buftea City Council – Shelter (5 beds), psychological assistance, medical care, Tel: 021-224.2064, Tel/Fax: 021-350.4566. E-mail: asf_buftea@yahoo.com.



Iasi County

Social Services, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Strapungere Silvestru nr. 1, bl.6-7, Iasi, Tel/Fax: 0232-213.887, E-mail: dmpsiasi@yahoo.com, Website: http://www.ddfssiasi.ro.

Center for Women, Social Services – Shelter (20 beds), medical assistance, counseling services, support. Tel/Fax: 0232-474.800

Counseling Center, "Catharsis" Psychotherapy Foundation – psychological and social assistance during difficult situations. Sos. Nicolina nr. 21, bl. 954, sc. A, ap. 2, Iasi, Tel: 0232-276.144.

Emergency Center for women and children, “Save the Children” Foundation and Pascani City Hall – counseling, family therapy, legal counseling, medical assistance, free meals and medication, emergency assistance. Str. Gradinitei nr. 11, Pascani, Tel: 0232-760.000.

Counseling Center Iasi – psychological assistance, mediation, support for victims of domestic violence. Str. Pantelimon nr. 32, bl. Pantelimon, et 5, Iasi, Tel: 0232-252.920, Website: http://www.cmsc.ro.



Maramures County

Social Services Maramures, Domestic Violence Department - P-ta Pacii nr.10, Baia Mare, Tel/Fax: 0262-211.443.

Domestic Violence Prevention Center, “ARTEMIS Foundation of the “Women Against Violence Association” and United Nations Fund for Population – psychological assistance, counseling, group therapy for women victim of domestic violence and sexual abuse, legal counseling, counseling by phone, assistance to find a job, professional training. Str. Moldovei nr.17A, Baia Mare, Tel: 0262-250.770, E-mail: artemisbm@sintec.ro, Website: http://www.artemis.com.ro.

“Salvati Familia” Center, “ARTEMIS” Foundation – Shelter (18 beds), psychological assistance, counseling services. Tel: 0262-211.949, Fax: 0262-211.959, E-mail: bobby_gavra@yahoo.com; spasbm@yahoo.com.

Counseling Center for victims of domestic violence and alcoholics, Botiza – counseling services, psychological assistance. Tel. 0262-334.011 or 0262-334.

Protection Center for abused women and children Botiza – Shelter (8 beds), psychological assistance, medical assistance, support to overcome crisis situations. Tel: 0262-334.011 or 0262-334.176.



Mehedinti County

Social Services Mehedinti, Domestic Violence Department - Bdul Carol I nr. 3, DrobetaTurnu-Severin, Tel: 0252-313.860, Fax: 0252-313.951, E-mail: ddfssmh@severin.rdsnet.ro. Shelter (7 – 30 days, 6 beds), medical assistance, counseling services. Tel.: 0252.330.061, ext. 176. Hotline 0252-983.Toll-free line 0800-800.337.

Counseling Center for abused, neglected or exploited children – emergency assistance, counseling services, social assistance. Str. Crisan nr. 48A, Drobeta Turnu Severin, Tel. 0252-330.061 ext.176. Hotline: 0252-983. Toll-free number: 0800-800.337.

Counseling Center Drobeta-Turnu Severin – social assistance, counseling services. Blvd. Carol I nr. 61, Drobeta Turnu Severin. Website: http://www.apfr.dtnttm.ro.

Counseling Center, “Filantropia” Association with the Severin Orthodox Episcopate – Emergency assistance for children, senior citizens, and victims of domestic violence, counseling services. Str. Gh. Bibicescu nr. 6, Drobeta Turnu Severin. E-mail: filantropia_severin@yahoo.com.

Counseling Center, “Ajutor Total” Association – assistance and counseling services. Str. Gh. Anghel nr. 41, Turnu Severin, Tel: 0252-330.587, E-mail: ajutortotal@yahoo.com.



Mures County

Social Services Mures, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Iuliu Maniu nr. 2, Tg. Mures, Tel/Fax: 0265-263.451, E-mail: familie@ddfssmures.ro.

Center for Prevention of Domestic Violence – Shelter (8 beds), psychological assistance, counseling services, financial assistance (payment of fees for medico-legal examination and certificate), social investigation, medical examination. Tel: 0265-255.532, Fax: 0265-255.370, E-mail: office@eeirh.org, Website: http://www.eeirh.org.

Emergency Center for abusers – social assistance for abusive family members, psychological assistance, counseling services, psychiatric evaluations, mediation services. Str. Zefirului nr.1, Targu Mures, Tel: 0265-255.931, Fax: 0265-255.370.

Counseling and Assistance Center, East European Institute for Reproductive Health – psychological assistance, psychotherapy, medical assistance, counseling services. Str. Moldovei nr. 1, Targu Mures, Tel/Fax: 0265-255.370, E-mail: emicheu@eeirh.org or office@eeirh.org, Website: http://www.eeirh.org.

”Floare de Colt" Prevention Center Sighisoara – social assistance, counseling services, individual and group therapy. Str. Herman Oberth nr. 20, Sighisoara. Tel/Fax: 0265-779.999, E-mail: fdc_sighisoara@yahoo.com, Website: http://www.veritas.ro.

Prevention of Domestic Violence for Youth Sighisoara, Beraca Foundation – support for victims, financial assistance, psychological assistance. Str. Herman Oberth nr. 9, Sighisoara, Tel: 0265-771.663, E-mail: beraca@wearsinternational.



Neamt County

Social Services Neamt, Domestic Violence Department - Bldv. Traian nr. 17, bl. A4, Piatra-Neamt, Tel: 0233-233.504, Fax: 0233-220.957, E-mail: director@directiamuncii-neamt.ro.

Emergency Social Center, "Columna" Foundation – Shelter (28 beds), psychological assistance, primary medical care, counseling services. Tel: 0233-225.225.

Emergency Housing Center for women and children „Sf. Teodora”, Femina 2000 Foundation and “Marta” Foundation Roman - Shelter (6 beds), psychological assistance, counseling services. Tel: 0233.742.167

Counseling Center, “Femina 2000” Association, Roman – counseling services, professional training, mediation. Tel/Fax: 0233-742.167, E-mail: femina2000@gmail.com, Website: http:// http://www.femina2000.media-consulting.ro.



Olt County

Social Services Olt, Domestic Violence Department - Al. Tineretului nr. 1A, Slatina, Tel: 0249-410.202 , 410.201, 413.011, or 411.154, Fax: 0249-433.706, E-mail: dgmss_olt@rdslink.ro.



Prahova County

Social Services Prahova, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Nicolae Iorga, nr.1, Ploiesti, Tel/Fax: 0244-575.119, E-mail: ddfssprahova@ploiesti.rdsnet.ro.



Salaj County

Social Services Salaj, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Avram Iancu nr. 29, Zalau, Tel.: 0260-611.405; 0260-660.666; 0260-611.405, Fax: 0260-610.979.



Satu Mare County

Social Services Satu Mare, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Tudor Vladimirescu nr. 8, Satu Mare, Tel: 0261-717.145, Fax: 0261-711.415, E-mail: dgmsm@directiamuncii-sm.ro, Website: http://www.directiamuncii-sm.

Social Services Sibiu, Domestic Violence Department - Calea Dumbravii nr. 17, Sibiu, Tel: 0269-210.892 or 0269-243.061, Fax: 0269-218.168, E-mail: dmssf_sb@directnet.ro; asistenta_sb@directnet.ro.

Prevention Center, “Estera” Women’s German Christian Association – Shelter (15 beds), psychological assistance, counseling services. Tel: 0269-831.081, Fax: 0269-845.608.

Prevention Center, “A child, a hope” Foundation – psychological assistance, counseling services, family therapy, financial assistance. Tel: 0269-232.773, Fax: 0269-232.977.

Counseling Center, “ALEG” Association Sibiu – counseling for victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse, counseling of teenagers for prevention of risk situations. Str. Uzinei, nr 14, bloc 17, Apt. 9, Sibiu, Tel/Fax: 0269-242.078.

Day Center for prevention of abuse, neglect and exploitation of children, “Noah’s Arch”, “Diakonisches Werk” Association of Evangelical Christians – Day shelter, psychological assistance, counseling services. Str. Andrei Saguna nr. 5, Sibiu, Tel/Fax: 0269-214.117.

Counseling Center for parents and children Medias, “Sinergii” Association – psychological assistance, counseling services. Str. 1 Decembrie nr. 34, Medias, Tel: 0269-830.529, Tel/Fax: 0269-838.602.

Emergency Center for victims and their children, “Women’s Association” Sibiu – Shelter (7 beds), psychological assistance, counseling services. Tel: 0269-216.580 or 0269-591.082.

Counseling Center "Edelweiss" Sibiu – psychological assistance for parents, counseling services. Str. Tiglari, bl. B4, ap. 78, Sibiu, E-mail: edelweissfundation@yahoo.com.



Suceava County

Social Services, Domestic Violence Department - Str.Tudor Vladimirescu, Suceava, Tel/Fax: 0230-524.731, E-mail: dgmsf34@rdslink.ro.

Vatra Dornei Social Services Center – Shelter (7 – 60 days, 10 beds), medical and psychological assistance, counseling services, professional training, assistance to obtain identity documents , vital records, or medico-legal certificates, provides food and pharmaceuticals. Tel: 0230-374.915 or 0230-375.229, Fax: 0230-375.170.

Counseling Center Suceava, “Bucovina Ladies” – psychological assistance, counseling, prevention of domestic violence. Calea Unirii nr. 15, Suceava, Tel/Fax: 0230-551.394, E-mail: bucovina_ladies@yahoo.com; doamnele_bucovinene@yahoo.com, sdb@suceava.rdsnet.ro.



Teleorman County

Social Services Teleorman, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Dunarii nr.1, Alexandria, Tel.: 0247-317.086, Fax: 0247-317.085, E-mail: dmssft@rds link.ro.

Center of mothers and children, Rosiorii de Vede – Shelter (16 beds), psychological assistance, counseling services. Tel: 0247-467.077; 0247-316.611 ext. 13

Shelter for parents and children, abused or homeless, Alexandria – Shelter (50 beds), psychological assistance, counseling services. Tel: 0347-805.579.



Timis County

Social Services, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Florimund de Mercy nr. 2, Timisoara, Tel.: 0256-432.779 or 0256-430.820, Fax: 0256-433.963, E-mail: dmss@mail.dnttm.ro.

Counseling and Assistance Center – social assistance, psychological assistance, counseling services, assistance for employment. Str. Letea nr. 46, Timisoara, Tel/Fax: 0256-293.183 or 0256-293.203, E-mail: apfr@mail.dnttm.ro, Website: http:// http://www.apfr.dnttm.ro.

“Caritas” Center Timisoara – Shelter (6 beds), medical and psychological assistance, psychotherapy, counseling services. Tel: 0256-499.554, Fax: 0256-494.812, E-mail: fcdt@online.ro.



Tulcea County

Social Services, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Babadag, nr.118, Tulcea, Tel.: 0240-531.054 or 531.053, Fax: 0240-531.052, E-mail: dgmsstl@x3m.ro.



Valcea County

Social Services Valcea, Domestic Violence Department - Bd. Tudor Vladimirescu, nr.1, et. 3, Râmnicu-Vâlcea, Tel: 0250-735.866, 0350-408.946 or 0350-408.947, Fax: 0250-734.710.

Shelter, Social Services Valcea – Shelter (7 - 60 days, 16 beds), medical and psychological assistance, counseling services, professional training, assistance to obtain identity documents, vital records, medico-legal certificates or presidential ordinance for eviction of abusers, assistance for employment. Tel: 0250-734.758, Tel./Fax: 0250.734.270, E-mail: dgaspcvl@yahoo.com.

Shelter Dragasani Village – Shelter (6 beds), medical and psychological assistance, counseling services, professional training. Tel: 0250-813.576

Day Counseling Center Prundeni Village – psychological and social assistance. Tel: 0250-763.857.



Vaslui County

Social Services, Domestic Violence Department - Str. M. Kogalniceanu nr.24, Vaslui, Tel/Fax 0235-315.789 ext.105, E-mail: dmss-vs@vaslui.rdsnet.ro, Website: http://www.ddfssvaslui.ro.

Center for women and children Negresti Village – Shelter (6 beds), psychological assistance and counseling services. Tel: 0235-457.481.

Domestic Violence Prevention Center Husi, „Totul pentru Viata” Foundation and Husi City Hall - Shelter (6 beds), psychological assistance and counseling services. Tel: 0235-481.549, E-mail: tpvhusi@yahoo.com.

Emergency Center Bârlad, Social Servcies and PHARE - Shelter (8 bedrooms for mothers and their children), psychological assistance, counseling services, funding for medico-legal examination and certificates. Tel: 0726-67.2892; 0800-800.389.

Shelter, “Movila lui Burcel” - Shelter (12 beds), emergency transportation for victims, medical assistance, psychological assistance, counseling services, protection of victims against abusers upon request. Tel: 0235-341.228.



Vrancea County

Social Services, Domestic Violence Department - Str. Brailei, nr. 3 bis, Vrancea, Tel. 0237-612.666 ; 0237-614.005, Fax: 0237-614.939, E-mail: ddfss_vn@yahoo.com.

Emergency Center "Femeia Ocrotita", Red Cross, Police Department Vrancea and the Emergency Hospital Sfântul Pantelimon, Medico-Legal Services – Shelter (6 beds), counseling services, medical care. Tel/Fax: 0237-206.961

Anatol Center for domestic abusers, Red Cross – legal counseling, psychological assistance, psychiatric evaluations, mediation. Str. Dimitrie Cantemir nr. 5, Apt. 1, Focsani.

Dimitrie Savescu Center Garoafa Village, with the Red Cross – Shelter (10 beds), psychological assistance, medical care, counseling services. Tel: 0237-206.961.


Website: http://romania.usembassy.gov/acs/social-services.html






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[Firebird]

OMG Kassandra, I'm in tears...you're the best, this is some very very good information. I knew you'd be on top of it, you're amazing
Dryad...I wanted to add, were not trying to make your father out to be a bad person, there is still a human in there struggling with their own issues. Problem is most abusers will never admit they have been abusive or recognize their is a problem, and it takes an incredible amount of courage to seek help. In many cases it is a matter of saving face, they can't imagine being seen seeking mental help,...ergo, it would show weakness. (in their minds) Which can't be further from the truth. If one has heart disease or diabetes or some other issue they would seek medical help. Many men won't even accept the fact they ave a medical issue of any kind...it's a macho thing, so when it is connected to their mind there is even more denial.
I am really wishing you and your family the best, again, don't hesitate to PM me,... Blessings..Firebird

[Xiao Rong]

HOLY CRAP, Kassandra, you rock!! That is truly an amazing list of resources.

Also, Dryad, if you're interested, this link has some great safety planning tips to help you cope while you're still with your father. Since you mentioned that you, your mother, and your brother do sometimes band together to defend against your dad's outbursts, I think one possibility is to develop some kind of secret signal you can use to let your family members that you need help, or could use their support (and that they can use to signal you). Maybe it's something like a particular gesture or a code word (I heard of one family where the kids would say that they need new sneakers to let their mom know that they needed to leave their abusive dad's house). I know that leaving an abuser, which seems like the obvious solution, is not often really an option, so if you wanted to, maybe we could brainstorm more ways to help you cope while you are stuck in this situation.

Again, sending love and light your way : )

[WalnutDryad]

Kassandra is amazing, 'nuff said

Xiao thank you for the link with the safety plan, it is very helpful.
We also have developed, well not a signal, but we're connected enough to exchange a glance and know if one of us is in need of help. Have to say I am blessed with a close knit family and relatives. We're also a strange family XD so my dad does not have an easy time being the way he is. There was that one time when we sort of kidnapped him to go to his family reunion. He wasn't very happy about that, but he didn't lash out either, he just sort of escaped after dinner and ran off for the safety of home, and was grumpy for a whole week, but no outbursts or anything. Kinda like a cat after a bath.

Love and light to you all! <3