loveless
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persephone
loveless
I saw a nice man last winter in a public place I frequent, and then he disappeared. I pined for him and prayed. He resurfaced when the weather broke and I thought great! I did some seeking work and found him online. Now I see he is married. i am crushed, I had my hopes up. Now I feel like giving up! No man has spoken to me in 15 yars. Will anyone ever care? thank you.
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NightRose
- Banned Member
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- Joined: Fri May 01, 2009 8:08 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Michigan
Re: loveless
Though I do not know you, I say that this is part of the problem. We live in a society where it is totally okay for women to make the right move, and you really should feel free to do so. Men will not talk to you if you don't talk to them. Try walking up to one and saying something. Anything. Walk up to a strange man in a grocery store and say "that brand tastes better" and see if you can strike up a conversation. It doesn't have to be intense or lead to love, it can be as simple as "oh, the weather's been nasty lately!" It's still a first step. After that, try talking to guys in places you frequent. Try to strike up a friendship. Then see if you can take it to the next level. Don't be discouraged if some fall through, it happens to us all. But every time you talk to a guy it will help bolster your self-confidence, and make the next one easier!persephone wrote:No man has spoken to me in 15 years.
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persephone
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[ShadowPhoenix]
- Posts: 798
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- Location: Louisiana
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RestoringtheGoddess
- Posts: 65
- Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 1:48 am
- Gender: Female
- Contact:
Re: loveless
Ok this is what I don't get about humansNightRose wrote:persephone wrote:Men will not talk to you if you don't talk to them. Try walking up to one and saying something. Anything. Walk up to a strange man in a grocery store and say "that brand tastes better" and see if you can strike up a conversation. It doesn't have to be intense or lead to love, it can be as simple as "oh, the weather's been nasty lately!" It's still a first step. After that, try talking to guys in places you frequent. Try to strike up a friendship. Then see if you can take it to the next level. Don't be discouraged if some fall through, it happens to us all. But every time you talk to a guy it will help bolster your self-confidence, and make the next one easier!
in nature the male is always the pursuer.... the one that should chase the female... to bear his children, etc... (this makes sense)
but in the human world it's the woman that has to chase down the men so she can go through some child birth pain or get played by a playa....
no thanks !!!!!!!!!!
No man is worth it to me if he isn't man enough to come up to me first!!!!!!!!! But usually the only ones that do are playas that want to get laid and break my heart and a bunch of other girls' hearts after me until they are 94 years old anyways
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blackswordca
- Posts: 125
- Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 7:39 pm
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One Walker
- Posts: 630
- Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:42 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Minnesota, USA
Men are extremely cautious these days when it comes to women. Most of it has to do with the way the legal system operates now. In divorce cases, if there are kids involved the guy is most likely going to lose not only his kids but his home, car, and a substantial amount of his paycheck. He's the one who's going to have to pay Child Support and Alimony.
In the workplace, well, if you've ever been through educational courses on harassment or sexual harassment you can answer that question yourself. Not only do you have to be extremely careful about what you say and how you say it but you must also consider how you look at another person. You even have to worry about what you say within earshot of another person.
Several years ago in Minneapolis they passed what is known as The Gawker's Law. This came about due to construction being carried out in downtown Minneapolis. Women working in the surrounding offices would come outside during their breaks and lunch and hang out on the sidewalks watching the new construction. Then they complained that the male construction workers were gawking at them all the time so they got together and filed Sexual Harassment complaints with the city. The city's answer was to make it a Misdemeanor for any person to look at a person for more than 13 consecutive seconds in the workplace. Yes, it actually became a law!
I'm happy to report that the first arrest on this new law was a woman who was gawking at... you guessed it... a male construction worker.
The bottom line is, guys are worried about not only getting their hearts broken but also being sent to jail for the least little thing-like looking at you-or having all their money and property taken from them by women.
So you want to get with a guy? Here's a few things you should know:
A) It's true that guys engage in lots of "locker-room talk" about 'Hot' babes. 99% of the time it's a total sham. It's just momentary conversation. The truth is, women have all the same body parts, just in different proportions. What gets noticed and talked about is just those parts that look especially good, like, buns, legs, breasts. That's all Flash, okay? There's no 'substance' to it and any guy worth his title isn't looking to hold on to 'Flash' for the rest of his life. Partly because he knows that Flash Doesn't Last.
B) Guys don't go to strip bars for the women. First of all, a strip bar is the WORST place to try and pick up a woman because, by definition, it's a job for those women. 99% of the time none of them are going home with a man that comes there without A LOT of money exchanging hands first. The Average Joe doesn't have that kind of money to spend. If he wants a woman for a one-nighter he can pick one up a lot cheaper on the streets. Second, those women don't have anything men haven't seen before. Third, it's the safest place in town to engage in "locker-room talk". Fourth, strip joints usually have the best Taco Bars in town. I'm not kidding. They really like to lay out primo salad and snack bars. Good food that is appealing to males is a great draw. Trust me. I use to be Bouncer in one of these joints years ago.
C) About sex: Men don't compare Women to other Women, Men compare Women to their own hand. Most women lose. This seems to hold especially true for 'Hot'-looking women. The hotter she looks on the surface, the worse she seems to be in bed. Again, Flash is just that. Flash. Window Dressing. An illusion.
D) What Men Want In Women: First, someone they can trust not to screw them over. Second, someone who's going to hang with them when the going gets tough. Third, someone with whom he can work together in harmony, not someone who's going to fight, degrade, and criticize him at every opportunity. I like this saying: If No Man Ever Got Stabbed While Doing The Dishes Then No Woman Ever Got Shot While Fixing The Car. Understand that Men like to be self-sufficient. There are things they want to do by themselves, not because they don't want you around but because they want to meet certain challenges face-to-face. It's not a Hero Complex, it's a reaffirmation of self-worth. Men have doubts and the fear of uncertainties just like women do. If a guy finds a gal that encompasses these three things he'll gladly hand-paint the house three times over in rainbow colors to please her. If there's something she really, really wants, he'll absolutely bust himself to get it for her. Love is a life-long commitment and you're in it together-or suppose to be.
So you want to meet this guy? You seem to know a public place he frequents. That's a start. Next time you see him there, go up and ask him a question; especially in the form of asking his opinion. Say you're out in a public park or something. Go up to him and ask him some nonsense question like what he thinks of the tennis shoes you're wearing for jogging. Then ask him if he knows of some other good shoes for jogging. Third, introduce yourself. Move into a more personal conversation quickly. Ask him if he frequents that place because you think you've seen him there before. This same kind of opening conversation can be adopted for a mall or store or whatever. Before you know it your conversation will expand to weather, crowds, jobs, and whatnot and you're in!
Hope this helped some!
One Walker.
In the workplace, well, if you've ever been through educational courses on harassment or sexual harassment you can answer that question yourself. Not only do you have to be extremely careful about what you say and how you say it but you must also consider how you look at another person. You even have to worry about what you say within earshot of another person.
Several years ago in Minneapolis they passed what is known as The Gawker's Law. This came about due to construction being carried out in downtown Minneapolis. Women working in the surrounding offices would come outside during their breaks and lunch and hang out on the sidewalks watching the new construction. Then they complained that the male construction workers were gawking at them all the time so they got together and filed Sexual Harassment complaints with the city. The city's answer was to make it a Misdemeanor for any person to look at a person for more than 13 consecutive seconds in the workplace. Yes, it actually became a law!
I'm happy to report that the first arrest on this new law was a woman who was gawking at... you guessed it... a male construction worker.
The bottom line is, guys are worried about not only getting their hearts broken but also being sent to jail for the least little thing-like looking at you-or having all their money and property taken from them by women.
So you want to get with a guy? Here's a few things you should know:
A) It's true that guys engage in lots of "locker-room talk" about 'Hot' babes. 99% of the time it's a total sham. It's just momentary conversation. The truth is, women have all the same body parts, just in different proportions. What gets noticed and talked about is just those parts that look especially good, like, buns, legs, breasts. That's all Flash, okay? There's no 'substance' to it and any guy worth his title isn't looking to hold on to 'Flash' for the rest of his life. Partly because he knows that Flash Doesn't Last.
B) Guys don't go to strip bars for the women. First of all, a strip bar is the WORST place to try and pick up a woman because, by definition, it's a job for those women. 99% of the time none of them are going home with a man that comes there without A LOT of money exchanging hands first. The Average Joe doesn't have that kind of money to spend. If he wants a woman for a one-nighter he can pick one up a lot cheaper on the streets. Second, those women don't have anything men haven't seen before. Third, it's the safest place in town to engage in "locker-room talk". Fourth, strip joints usually have the best Taco Bars in town. I'm not kidding. They really like to lay out primo salad and snack bars. Good food that is appealing to males is a great draw. Trust me. I use to be Bouncer in one of these joints years ago.
C) About sex: Men don't compare Women to other Women, Men compare Women to their own hand. Most women lose. This seems to hold especially true for 'Hot'-looking women. The hotter she looks on the surface, the worse she seems to be in bed. Again, Flash is just that. Flash. Window Dressing. An illusion.
D) What Men Want In Women: First, someone they can trust not to screw them over. Second, someone who's going to hang with them when the going gets tough. Third, someone with whom he can work together in harmony, not someone who's going to fight, degrade, and criticize him at every opportunity. I like this saying: If No Man Ever Got Stabbed While Doing The Dishes Then No Woman Ever Got Shot While Fixing The Car. Understand that Men like to be self-sufficient. There are things they want to do by themselves, not because they don't want you around but because they want to meet certain challenges face-to-face. It's not a Hero Complex, it's a reaffirmation of self-worth. Men have doubts and the fear of uncertainties just like women do. If a guy finds a gal that encompasses these three things he'll gladly hand-paint the house three times over in rainbow colors to please her. If there's something she really, really wants, he'll absolutely bust himself to get it for her. Love is a life-long commitment and you're in it together-or suppose to be.
So you want to meet this guy? You seem to know a public place he frequents. That's a start. Next time you see him there, go up and ask him a question; especially in the form of asking his opinion. Say you're out in a public park or something. Go up to him and ask him some nonsense question like what he thinks of the tennis shoes you're wearing for jogging. Then ask him if he knows of some other good shoes for jogging. Third, introduce yourself. Move into a more personal conversation quickly. Ask him if he frequents that place because you think you've seen him there before. This same kind of opening conversation can be adopted for a mall or store or whatever. Before you know it your conversation will expand to weather, crowds, jobs, and whatnot and you're in!
Hope this helped some!
One Walker.
We have seen what Power does.
We have seen what Power costs.
One is never equal to the other.
We have seen what Power costs.
One is never equal to the other.
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blackswordca
- Posts: 125
- Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 7:39 pm
For a generalization i find that fairly accurate...
I would also suggest giving him time. You don't know his past, if hes been burnt enough times it may take him some time to come to trust you enough to move onto that next step.
I would also suggest giving him time. You don't know his past, if hes been burnt enough times it may take him some time to come to trust you enough to move onto that next step.
"The meek shall inherit the Earth.. the rest of us shall conquer the stars"