So sorry this took a while to get to you ... I was swamped at work and am just now catching up on readings. Here's yours!
1. Your Light - What You Know & Accept of Yourself: 4 of Wands (celebration, freedom, excitement)
It seems that the face that you put on for the world is one of cheerfulness and enthusiasm. You want people to believe that you are cheerful, happy, and have no problems. As you mentioned, though, you know that it's hard to acknowledge darkness sometimes. While being positive is often a very good thing, we can't be happy all the time. Refusing to own up to that can often make your problems worse. When it comes to other people, you say that they sometimes consider you to be vain and self-centered. Your friends can't be happy all the time either, and if you don't acknowledge when they are hurt or sad (i.e. their dark times) and instead choose to keep with the cheery act, you may seem unsupportive and callous as a friend. But you know some of this already, I'm sure ... as I mentioned before, you seem quite self-aware and have already begun some self-exploration, so what I'm saying is probably less of a surprise.
2. Your Shadow - What You Don't Know Or Reject About Yourself: Page of Pentacles (practical, down-to-earth, trustworthy)
The Page of Pentacles represents someone who is serious, trustworthy, down-to-earth, and practical. She delivers a real possibility to experience wealth, prosperity, and security (with hard work, of course). Being serious is pretty antithetical to your current cheerful, carefree persona you project to the outside world. As this is a court card, there may even be someone in your life who this reminds you of -- possibly someone around your own age whom you have always found boring and lacking in humor since they're very focused on their pursuits (you may even have thought something along the lines of, "Ugh! I hope I never turn into So-and-so and become all grown-up and dour and boring"). S/he represents your Shadow, but what you need to realize is that in some ways you have lessons to learn from him/her. You too have opportunities to pursue, but if you don't get used to the prospect that you might have to be serious and get to work, you'll miss out.
3. Why You Fear Your Shadow: 2 of Pentacles (balance, fun, flexibility)
As I mentioned before, the reason you fear your Shadow is because you will stop being a fun-loving, cheerful person, and instead have to be resigned to doing lots of boring drudgery. However, this card, the 2 of Pentacles, is one of balance. In my deck, the card depicts a juggler
who is balancing his responsibilities. It's precarious, but he's also having fun with the challenge! If you can commit yourself to your pursuit, it doesn't mean that you will be all work and no play all the time; you can still have fun! It's all about finding a balance between being serious and being playful.
4. Why You Should Embrace Your Shadow: Death (change, transformation)
As you mentioned before, you already know that something is wrong about the way you're living, and you'd like to change. While Death may seem like a dire card, it is really a card about change, transformation, and most importantly, a new beginning. It is a phoenix rising out of the ashes. You have a chance to change yourself and live a happier life, if you can accept your Shadow.
5. How to Integrate Your Shadow and Your Light: 10 of Cups (joy, peace, family)
This card suggests that the way to begin acknowledging and bringing your Shadow into the Light is to start with your family and friends. Some of them may need your support right now, and this will require you to be serious and to acknowledge that life isn't always fun and happy. If you can put away how you feel so that you can be present with them, share their pain, and help them through it. Your current state of happiness is mostly an artificial act, but if you can be loving and kind, as this card urges you to be, you can share in the true joy that comes from sharing in the genuine happiness of others.
6. Outcome: Ace of Wands (creativity, enthusiasm, confidence)
Finally, we come full circle -- we began with a card from the Wands card, and we end with a card in the Wands suit. If you can follow the advice here, then you can find your creativity, enthusiasm, and confidence again, except this time it will come from a place of truth, not just a front you put on because you believe that's the way you should be.
The last thing I want to mention is that the Wands and Pentacles seem to have a significant message here. The Wands suit represents fire, which gives off life. The Pentacles suit represents earth, which is in many ways an element of darkness -- think dirt, soil, caves. Darkness we often conflate with bad, but it is really a necessary, life-giving aspect, without which we would have no light.
Anyways, hope you liked the reading! Let me know if you have any questions.