Everything Under the Moon

Merry meet.
On September 27th I did my first healing ritual with my significant other. He is suffering with the aftermath of addiction and I asked him if he would like me to perform a healing ritual for him. He agreed, which was really nice and I was glad he was allowing me to help him in this way.
I did a lot of researching and put together my own ritual. It included casting a circle, calling the quarters, the basics. Along with a healing spell and Strength prayer.
Immediately after closing the circle I felt depressed and then proceeded to fall into a depressive state that I am still currently in. I am diagnosed with Major Depression but have not had an episode like this is nearly a year. I did not go outside (literally did not step a foot outside the apartment) or to work for a week. I also developed a migraine that lasted 36 brutal hours, which finally ended this afternoon.
I feel it's so coincidental that this has happened right after my healing ritual. I feel like I traded away my healing energies and my health. Is that even possible? I've been feeling so terrible about it, that I'm hesitant to ever perform a healing ritual again.
Any advice/experiences/insights on this would be much appreciated. I don't want to feel as though I'm seeing too much into this. I feel as though something really did not go correctly.
The ritual for him, however, worked well! He has been feeling better and isn't struggling as much as he was.
Blessed be
Tyrande

Hi Tyrande, I think it is possible that during the healing ritual, you accidentally transferred your own energy into him, and maybe made a longer-lasting connection than you expected. I'd suggest writing the spell in a way that links him to a different source of strength, and not just you. For instance, you might try drawing out his own inner strength, or connecting him with a deity or the Earth, or linking it to a crystal or something else with magical properties. Group rituals can also be somewhat safer, because while everyone is contributing energy, it's diffused a little bit more among everyone participating.

Did you do any grounding/centering afterwards? It's also common for people to feel really excited, jittery, and restless after completing a ritual, or otherwise completely depleted of energy (a "ritual hangover", if you will). Grounding and centering helps level you out, either sending out excess energy into the earth or drawing up strength to replace what you've just spent. Some possible ways to do this include a Tree of Life meditation, touching the earth, deep breathing and relaxation exercises, and eating and drinking (hence why "Cakes and Wine" or "The Great Feast" are often towards the end of rituals based on Wiccan structure). In my coven, we typically place both palms on the floor for a moment or two, and then finish off with Cakes and Wine before closing the circle.

I was thinking the same thing that Xiao said. It's easy to get too invested in what you're doing, especially with healing work.

Xiao Rong wrote:Hi Tyrande, I think it is possible that during the healing ritual, you accidentally transferred your own energy into him, and maybe made a longer-lasting connection than you expected. I'd suggest writing the spell in a way that links him to a different source of strength, and not just you. For instance, you might try drawing out his own inner strength, or connecting him with a deity or the Earth, or linking it to a crystal or something else with magical properties. Group rituals can also be somewhat safer, because while everyone is contributing energy, it's diffused a little bit more among everyone participating.

Did you do any grounding/centering afterwards?

I actually didn't do any grounding and I knew I was supposed to. I kind of just shrugged it off as a "I'll be okay" kind of thing. If I ever do this again I won't have that type of mindset because of this experience.
I'm going to take your advice and do another ritual, but this time by myself. Also in need of a good session of meditation, which I'm hoping will help.
Thank you for your input on this. Really didn't want to feel like I was just over analyzing.
Tyrande

SnowCat wrote:I was thinking the same thing that Xiao said. It's easy to get too invested in what you're doing, especially with healing work.

And I was over here just hoping it would have a little bit of an impact. Really didn't anticipate this type of response from myself! Well at least it's a great learning experience for sure.
Thank you for your reply!
Tyrande