Need advice on possible Negativity

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jamcat16
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Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by jamcat16 »

I've come to feel lately like there is a dark presence in my aura, almost like a second me. For years, I was a very kind and loving person, with just the occasional lost temper. But I was still very kind and thoughtful. I almost always put others first, and tried very hard to lead a humble life. But in the last year, I've noticed more and more that I'm frequently not myself. At one point, I'll be very eager to put my happiness on hold and make things better for my girlfriend, or family member/friend, but then sometimes in the same day, I'll become terribly cold, and full of hate for reasons that seem to make no sense. I'm partially chalking it up to being an empath, because I've already confirmed that I'm very much sensitive, and reflectory of the emotions of those around me, but it seems when someone becomes angry or agitated around me, this dark side takes over, and I feel a complete lack of empathy for the person involved, along with an unwanted, and intense rage. I begin letting loose every negative feeling and thought I've had, sometimes for weeks, and all I can think to do is make them feel very much hurt. When I snap myself out of it, I immediately feel so bad that I sometimes can't even console them. But during these times, it's almost as if a completely different person or force had control of me. It's feels almost like I don't have any grey area. That for most of the day, a light side of me has been in control, then suddenly this dark perversion has taken control, like the flip of a coin. I probably just sound crazy, but I figured that my answers might not lie in a medical aspect, but rather a spiritual one. Any help is appreciated

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Becks
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Re: Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by Becks »

Hi Jamcat. Welcome. My first impression is that this darkness isn't external or an attachment. I don't know your personal story, but if you were here with me I'd make you a cup of tea and we'd just talk. I feel like something has happened to you in your life experience that has caused you to shut off a part of yourself. Specifically the heart and a chakra lower down, but I don't have enough info to diagnose which. I don't know what the people around you are like, and I can't tell if they enoucrage healthy ways of relating or if their ways of being and communication styles are off as well.

I get the impression that at an important time you weren't able to express your needs and your weren't heard? Does that make any sense? I see neglect of some form. I don't know why this comes out as hurt and anger now.

I would suggest that you take the time to shield and ground yourself. Move slowly and breathe. I feel like you would do well to embark on a personal journey where you slow down, name your emotions instead of stuffing them down. You have a right to them. You may need to learn to develop boundaries that keep you in, and the bad stuff that pushes in you out. It can be done with love and compassion. I don't know if any of this rings true for you, but please be well. Be kind to you and others. This is within your power to control and to heal.

jamcat16
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Re: Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by jamcat16 »

These do sound like real answers, and I can honestly say that all of this fits the criteria. I've been having family and relationships problems for a long time now. You're probably right. I need to figure out a way to channel this Negativity that's not involved with the metaphysical, and rather the psychological. Thank you for your input

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Becks
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Re: Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by Becks »

Hey Jamcat-I honestly think that the two are quite connected because we are connected beings. The things that happen to us become a part of us, and it manifests in our spirit. This is deep stuff. So, I do think it is definitely spiritual for you-but not a malevolent external kind of force if that makes sense. I wouldn't make such a harsh divide between spiritual and psychological. You are you. If you would like, or feel comfortable-I feel feel compelled to offer you a tarot reading. I don't do it often, but feel free to pm if that is something you think that might help. No guarantees what may come up, and no pressure on you, but I'm being told to offer this to you. So take that for what it's worth. :evilwitch:

GodsLovingLight
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Re: Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by GodsLovingLight »

jamcat16,

To me, it sounds like you might be out of balance. Putting others before yourself enough times can cause an imbalance. A part of you may feel like you are neglecting yourself and start acting out. You may need to take some time for yourself to feel the different things you're experiencing then return to similar situations and see how you feel and what your initial response to that situation would be. Paying attention to those situations can help you to identify the areas of you that you want to work on to help yourself feel more satisfied and happy.

To help with being empathic, grounding and shielding are great things to practice every day if you can. Another thing that can help is to try and let go of those empathic experiences you gone through. I've found that when people experience empathy they tend to hold on to a peice of that experience. But you aren't going through the same thing that the person who has the original feelings and emotions did. Sometimes empaths hold on to those emotions and don't realize it. Finding a way to cleanse your empathy browser history can help a lot if you feel a build up of stagnant or heavy energy. If you're going through a rough time in your own life, things can also build up to cause the intensity of empathic experiences to vary.

Meditating with sounds, music, incense, sage, videos, anything that can help you clear your mind and help you from mentally and emotionally staying stuck on any specific thought or experience can help you cleanse your energy of the old, stagnant, or intense.

Lee :)

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mrsdavid1975
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Re: Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by mrsdavid1975 »

Embrace your shadow. We all have one.

jamcat16
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Re: Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by jamcat16 »

GodsLovingLight wrote:jamcat16,

To me, it sounds like you might be out of balance. Putting others before yourself enough times can cause an imbalance. A part of you may feel like you are neglecting yourself and start acting out. You may need to take some time for yourself to feel the different things you're experiencing then return to similar situations and see how you feel and what your initial response to that situation would be. Paying attention to those situations can help you to identify the areas of you that you want to work on to help yourself feel more satisfied and happy.

To help with being empathic, grounding and shielding are great things to practice every day if you can. Another thing that can help is to try and let go of those empathic experiences you gone through. I've found that when people experience empathy they tend to hold on to a peice of that experience. But you aren't going through the same thing that the person who has the original feelings and emotions did. Sometimes empaths hold on to those emotions and don't realize it. Finding a way to cleanse your empathy browser history can help a lot if you feel a build up of stagnant or heavy energy. If you're going through a rough time in your own life, things can also build up to cause the intensity of empathic experiences to vary.

Meditating with sounds, music, incense, sage, videos, anything that can help you clear your mind and help you from mentally and emotionally staying stuck on any specific thought or experience can help you cleanse your energy of the old, stagnant, or intense.

Lee :)
That's actually something I read about. I've wanted to start using aroma therapy and meditation to help heal and balance my state of mind and quiet my energy. I've found I'm very fond of frankincense and myrrh incense and essential oils, which I've read help banish negative energy, and are good for not only clearing Chakra points, but also the energy for a room. But for the most part, not only do I not have the time for meditation (at least the traditional and helpful kind) but the times I've tried, I can't empty my mind enough to actually quite myself. I end up starting well, but then I start trying mentally to solve things, and then I start focusing on not doing that, and it's just a giant disaster.

jamcat16
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Re: Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by jamcat16 »

mrsdavid1975 wrote:Embrace your shadow. We all have one.
My shadow is a tad bit darker and more dangerous than others. I've found that out first hand when I've let myself run free from my usual intense focus on betterment. I can't really let it be in control as much as it is lately, because that side of me is at best, very, very emotionally hostile, and at worst physically. Hence why I'm trying to look for a more holistic/spiritual answer, because I'm running out of ideas and just generally afraid of what happens next.

GodsLovingLight
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Re: Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by GodsLovingLight »

jamcat16,

It's hard to describe but when you meditate, you don't try to clear your mind. The goal is to become relaxed through meditation without forcing it. For me I try to focus only on my breathing. In through the nose and out through the mouth at a relaxed pace. Keep your focus on that and let yourself relax when you're ready to, trying to make yourself relax will only prevent you from getting what you really want. If thoughts pop into your head don't try to control them and don't give them any value or importance. Keep focusing on your breathing and your mind will clear when you're ready. Try doing that for 5 or 10 minutes to start and pick a time every day to continue doing it. That will help you build up to a 30 minute or 60 minute meditation.

For the shadow self, I was taught that a shadow self isn't negativity or darkness as you're describing what you're experiencing. I was taught that the shadow self is a reflection of ourselves that show the things we try to hide about ourselves. People like and dislike certain things about themselves. When we try to ignore or bury the things we don't like, that is what the shadow self will show us.

jamcat16
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Re: Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by jamcat16 »

GodsLovingLight wrote:jamcat16,

It's hard to describe but when you meditate, you don't try to clear your mind. The goal is to become relaxed through meditation without forcing it. For me I try to focus only on my breathing. In through the nose and out through the mouth at a relaxed pace. Keep your focus on that and let yourself relax when you're ready to, trying to make yourself relax will only prevent you from getting what you really want. If thoughts pop into your head don't try to control them and don't give them any value or importance. Keep focusing on your breathing and your mind will clear when you're ready. Try doing that for 5 or 10 minutes to start and pick a time every day to continue doing it. That will help you build up to a 30 minute or 60 minute meditation.

For the shadow self, I was taught that a shadow self isn't negativity or darkness as you're describing what you're experiencing. I was taught that the shadow self is a reflection of ourselves that show the things we try to hide about ourselves. People like and dislike certain things about themselves. When we try to ignore or bury the things we don't like, that is what the shadow self will show us.
Hmmmmmm. That would make sense. I've spent the last 5 years trying very hard to stay in control. Maybe this is a sign that the universe wants me to be a bit more honest with myself. Definitely not go crazy or start practicing dark arts, but to let a bit of the bad out more frequently. It would be a lot easier than trying non stop to be a perfectly squeaky clean person. Maybe a bit healthier too. I imagine that my energy is a bit off balance as well if I'm forcing myself to be completely, perfectly humble and kind. We all have dark tendencies.

GodsLovingLight
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Re: Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by GodsLovingLight »

I'm trying to think of a way of saying this. I don't think we have bad or dark tendancies. I think when we fall out of balance with our true self and the things we actually want to do and want for ourselves, we get even more clouded by all of the things we don't want but have convinced ourselves that we do want. I think if you spend time with yourself and focus on finding out what it is you really want, you'll find the right answer for you and everything else will fall away. I think coming into balance with yourself and accepting your true self (not your superficial self) will change how you see what you really want and how you really want to be from how you view things now.

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Deejean
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Re: Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by Deejean »

I think everything in this post is something I needed to hear as well.

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mrsdavid1975
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Re: Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by mrsdavid1975 »

GodsLovingLight wrote:jamcat16,


For the shadow self, I was taught that a shadow self isn't negativity or darkness as you're describing what you're experiencing. I was taught that the shadow self is a reflection of ourselves that show the things we try to hide about ourselves. People like and dislike certain things about themselves. When we try to ignore or bury the things we don't like, that is what the shadow self will show us.
Yes!! And this is what I meant. If you don't pay attention and give credit to the shadow self, it causes issues. Hence this " dark side" you claim. Everyone has an element of darkness. ... Don't embrace THAT .. But the TRUE thing that causes this. Things such as fear , insecurities, ego. Look at these things and care for them. They need attention like children.

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mrsdavid1975
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Re: Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by mrsdavid1975 »

jamcat16 wrote:
GodsLovingLight wrote:jamcat16,

It's hard to describe but when you meditate, you don't try to clear your mind. The goal is to become relaxed through meditation without forcing it. For me I try to focus only on my breathing. In through the nose and out through the mouth at a relaxed pace. Keep your focus on that and let yourself relax when you're ready to, trying to make yourself relax will only prevent you from getting what you really want. If thoughts pop into your head don't try to control them and don't give them any value or importance. Keep focusing on your breathing and your mind will clear when you're ready. Try doing that for 5 or 10 minutes to start and pick a time every day to continue doing it. That will help you build up to a 30 minute or 60 minute meditation.

For the shadow self, I was taught that a shadow self isn't negativity or darkness as you're describing what you're experiencing. I was taught that the shadow self is a reflection of ourselves that show the things we try to hide about ourselves. People like and dislike certain things about themselves. When we try to ignore or bury the things we don't like, that is what the shadow self will show us.
Hmmmmmm. That would make sense. I've spent the last 5 years trying very hard to stay in control. Maybe this is a sign that the universe wants me to be a bit more honest with myself. Definitely not go crazy or start practicing dark arts, but to let a bit of the bad out more frequently. It would be a lot easier than trying non stop to be a perfectly squeaky clean person. Maybe a bit healthier too. I imagine that my energy is a bit off balance as well if I'm forcing myself to be completely, perfectly humble and kind. We all have dark tendencies.
Look into the part of you that wants to control. Why? When ? How? Who? This will lead you to your shadow.

I tend to swing both ends of this spectrum. When I'm happy , I bury the shadow .. I pretend it doesn't exist. I am like a duck in water letting water pop right off. When I am stressed I seem to turn to the person I hide. The person who wants to protect my inner child. I become OCD and at times I get overtly vigilant. .. All due to not wanting to tend to my shadow. .. When I look into my shadow self more, I'm much happier, much more balanced. None of us are perfect. .. But also.. We aren't quite the " thing" our shadows throw out to get attention either.

jamcat16
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Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2015 12:11 am

Re: Need advice on possible Negativity

Post by jamcat16 »

mrsdavid1975 wrote:
jamcat16 wrote:
GodsLovingLight wrote:jamcat16,

It's hard to describe but when you meditate, you don't try to clear your mind. The goal is to become relaxed through meditation without forcing it. For me I try to focus only on my breathing. In through the nose and out through the mouth at a relaxed pace. Keep your focus on that and let yourself relax when you're ready to, trying to make yourself relax will only prevent you from getting what you really want. If thoughts pop into your head don't try to control them and don't give them any value or importance. Keep focusing on your breathing and your mind will clear when you're ready. Try doing that for 5 or 10 minutes to start and pick a time every day to continue doing it. That will help you build up to a 30 minute or 60 minute meditation.

For the shadow self, I was taught that a shadow self isn't negativity or darkness as you're describing what you're experiencing. I was taught that the shadow self is a reflection of ourselves that show the things we try to hide about ourselves. People like and dislike certain things about themselves. When we try to ignore or bury the things we don't like, that is what the shadow self will show us.
Hmmmmmm. That would make sense. I've spent the last 5 years trying very hard to stay in control. Maybe this is a sign that the universe wants me to be a bit more honest with myself. Definitely not go crazy or start practicing dark arts, but to let a bit of the bad out more frequently. It would be a lot easier than trying non stop to be a perfectly squeaky clean person. Maybe a bit healthier too. I imagine that my energy is a bit off balance as well if I'm forcing myself to be completely, perfectly humble and kind. We all have dark tendencies.
Look into the part of you that wants to control. Why? When ? How? Who? This will lead you to your shadow.

I tend to swing both ends of this spectrum. When I'm happy , I bury the shadow .. I pretend it doesn't exist. I am like a duck in water letting water pop right off. When I am stressed I seem to turn to the person I hide. The person who wants to protect my inner child. I become OCD and at times I get overtly vigilant. .. All due to not wanting to tend to my shadow. .. When I look into my shadow self more, I'm much happier, much more balanced. None of us are perfect. .. But also.. We aren't quite the " thing" our shadows throw out to get attention either.
This all makes a lot more sense. I used to have friends that basically told me it was the nature of the soul for some to be basically consumed by darkness, and that you need to let it take control. For a while I listened to them, and just ran wild. It wasn't until I took a long look back, and realized ask the people I'd hurt and all the terrible things that I'd let myself do. I ran drastically towards the other end and started trying to basically be a saint, and I think that's what has had me become such a duality. I thought you meant the first part when I first heard you, so I'm sorry if I seemed hostile. I'm just very afraid of losing control again. But honestly, it's just as bad to completely ignore the bad, rather then acknowledge it, and let it out in small doses. Thank you both for giving me some insight into balance and helping my true self grow again

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