Help With Negativity

[AquarianMoon]

Ok, so I don't know if I've put this in the right place, so feel free to move it if you want.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm looking for, maybe a little bit of help I suppose.
For the past number of months now I've been feeling very negative, very angry, inpatient, not enthused about anything and a bit of a debbie downer. It doesn't take much for me to lose my cool. I suppose I could say maybe I am feeling a bit lost at the moment because I know this isn't me.

I never used to be like this. I used to be happier, full of positivity and I used to feel like anything could happen, if I put my mind to it. I got married 3 years ago and within our first year of marriage, I lost my father. If took me at least a year to stop crying every other day and I do still miss him. But I was determine to make him proud of me, and I still am, and be the best I can be. My dad was so proud of my sister for going to University and being brainbox (she has a degree in mathematics) and I always felt like second best.

I know I'm going off the beaten track, I'm rambling, but I suppose that could be because I'm not entirely sure what I'm looking for. I just feel a bit lost at the moment, I know this isn't me, and I want to become more positive, make something of myself and make my parents and my hubby proud of me, as well as be proud of myself.

But I don't know where to start. I've always felt spiritual and used to love the small desktop calendars you used to get that had different spirtual / zen quotes for each day of the week (it gave me something to think about & be more positive and if I had something like that in book form where I could write notes, or whatever, would be brill!). I think I'm going to have to start with small baby steps but I have no idea where to start.

Sorry I'm rambling again, but has anyone been where I am at the minute or even felt the way I'm feeling and how do you get out of this rut?

[bluejay_1919]

I've been there. I lost my Daddy 5 years ago. He fell in a nursing home & suffered for almost 3 weeks before letting go. I cried everyday for a few years and now I still cry at night when I think about my day and if there was something I would have loved to tell him about. We were very close.

After his death, I became depressed and negative in a just stagnate sad way. I'm highly spiritual and it was soon after that my father came to visit me in spirit for several months. This helped as I knew he was still with me. After a while, he stopped coming around. I went right back into deep sadness.

I asked him one night, calling out into the darkness to show me where he was. And that night in my dreams, I found my father. He showed me through his eyes what it was like to live with Alzheimers. He showed me how miserable he was. And then he showed me where he went.

It was beautiful. And I quickly realized that his heaven was where we would go when I was a chilld, hiking and camping. It was a mixture of trees, waterfalls, clear lakes and Bluejays birds. His sign for me that he with me. We floated above the lakes and the waterfall sprayed it's gentle mist on our cheeks.

His last words to me...." this is where I've been, and where I will be waiting for you".

I found a great amount of peace after that. The pain of losing someone never goes away. My heart literally aches for him. But I know where he his.

What has helped me is finding beauty in everyday. Go outside. Plant some flowers under a tree. Sit still and listen to the birds. I also have found writing and expressing myself through art has helped tremendously.

Write about your feelings. Write about your dad's death, your relationship with your sister, everything. Take time to heal yourself. People, for some reason, love to make others rush into healing. I've heard plenty of " get over it " " it's time to move on & let go" or " you're not the only one that has lost a dad"....well I'm living MY life. And this is what I'M going through. I will heal in own time. And I will NEVER forget anything about my dad.

Try excepting your sadness instead of making it a bad thing and then begin from there. It's good for our souls to experience all emotions. It is what makes us truly alive. Start bringing in all the small things that make you happy, like your zen quotes. I follow some Buddhist teachings, and there are several that have helped me through tough times. Zen quotes open the mind.

Hang in there. I don't know if any of this helped, but I've been there. Sending light, love and happiness you way. You're not alone.

[AquarianMoon]

Thanks Bluejay for your help, and it did help. They always say, everyone deals with things differently and in their own time.

Before my dad died, he came to me in a dream to let me know he'd be leaving us. I didn't tell my mum or my sister until afterwards because I didn't want to believe it.

After he died, he came to me in another dream, although this time it was only his voice, and told me "This is not goodbye, merely a parting of ways, until we meet again".
There are days where I do still cry, although there's part of me that thinks I should put a brave face on or, my dad wouldn't want to see me crying. He's in a better place now, and is no longer suffering.

Your dream sounds beautiful and I know my dad will be waiting for me too. It's weird to say it but it makes me less scared of, eventually, dying now because I know I'll meet my dad again.

I'm like you a bit, I used to be quite spiritual, but I feel I've lost my way a bit. I married a man who came from a Born Again Christian home. He knows my beliefs (as such because I'm not religious but spiritual) and he knew them before we got married. He knows I used to meditate and even thought he tells me to do it, if it makes me feel better, I live my life afraid of being judged by people.
I used to draw, and I really should get back into the way of it again. I also like to write and I had thought of keeping journal of positive thoughts, quotes etc to help me turnyself around. I guess sometimes I just never know where to start. Where do you get your zen quotes?

[popsthebuilder]

Ok, so I don't know if I've put this in the right place, so feel free to move it if you want.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm looking for, maybe a little bit of help I suppose.
For the past number of months now I've been feeling very negative, very angry, inpatient, not enthused about anything and a bit of a debbie downer. It doesn't take much for me to lose my cool. I suppose I could say maybe I am feeling a bit lost at the moment because I know this isn't me.

I never used to be like this. I used to be happier, full of positivity and I used to feel like anything could happen, if I put my mind to it. I got married 3 years ago and within our first year of marriage, I lost my father. If took me at least a year to stop crying every other day and I do still miss him. But I was determine to make him proud of me, and I still am, and be the best I can be. My dad was so proud of my sister for going to University and being brainbox (she has a degree in mathematics) and I always felt like second best.

I know I'm going off the beaten track, I'm rambling, but I suppose that could be because I'm not entirely sure what I'm looking for. I just feel a bit lost at the moment, I know this isn't me, and I want to become more positive, make something of myself and make my parents and my hubby proud of me, as well as be proud of myself.

But I don't know where to start. I've always felt spiritual and used to love the small desktop calendars you used to get that had different spirtual / zen quotes for each day of the week (it gave me something to think about & be more positive and if I had something like that in book form where I could write notes, or whatever, would be brill!). I think I'm going to have to start with small baby steps but I have no idea where to start.

Sorry I'm rambling again, but has anyone been where I am at the minute or even felt the way I'm feeling and how do you get out of this rut?

Your words ring true and familiar.
You can't follow 2.

They are opposing directions and one is unwinding, devouring, and consuming. It is internal but stays hidden in ways.

The other is forward, obvious, and wholly giving, peaceful, and not for self. True joy is through reciprocation of good for other existence, and achievable more fully through needless and wantless giving( as in not wanting from man in return for initial giving) when I say it is reciprocal I mean that it is direct yet not. It is a singular connection, direction, and motive. Oddly enough, you will find that one(self) is provided for through selfless reciprocal(giving) acts.


Everything is a gift and at least a lesson. The gift is constant. We must be thankful of this which leads to happiness.

Sorry ranting, I'm done.

You can type Bahia virtues into a Google play store search bar and get some good guotes.[SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES] good luck

Anyway...no offence to anything. Just advice with love and peace.
Thank you.

[Seraphin]

Hiya popsthebuilder!

Please include all relevant information in a single post to avoid posting the same topic twice or thrice. If you want to make any modifications to one of your posts, please use the button at the top-right of the post , to avoid double-posting.

[popsthebuilder]

Hiya popsthebuilder!

Please include all relevant information in a single post to avoid posting the same topic twice or thrice. If you want to make any modifications to one of your posts, please use the button at the top-right of the post , to avoid double-posting.

I don't know that I have that option using tapatalk. I will try to not post repeatedly in succession and get my whole point across in a single post.

Thank you.

[bluejay_1919]

Thanks Bluejay for your help, and it did help. They always say, everyone deals with things differently and in their own time.

Before my dad died, he came to me in a dream to let me know he'd be leaving us. I didn't tell my mum or my sister until afterwards because I didn't want to believe it.

After he died, he came to me in another dream, although this time it was only his voice, and told me "This is not goodbye, merely a parting of ways, until we meet again".
There are days where I do still cry, although there's part of me that thinks I should put a brave face on or, my dad wouldn't want to see me crying. He's in a better place now, and is no longer suffering.

Your dream sounds beautiful and I know my dad will be waiting for me too. It's weird to say it but it makes me less scared of, eventually, dying now because I know I'll meet my dad again.

I'm like you a bit, I used to be quite spiritual, but I feel I've lost my way a bit. I married a man who came from a Born Again Christian home. He knows my beliefs (as such because I'm not religious but spiritual) and he knew them before we got married. He knows I used to meditate and even thought he tells me to do it, if it makes me feel better, I live my life afraid of being judged by people.
I used to draw, and I really should get back into the way of it again. I also like to write and I had thought of keeping journal of positive thoughts, quotes etc to help me turnyself around. I guess sometimes I just never know where to start. Where do you get your zen quotes?

For your dad to come to you in a dream, before & after his passing, he must of really had a deep connection with you on a spiritual level. What a beautiful gift to share with someone.

It's good that you have support from your husband as well. That's so important in a relationship that two people are on the same page and respectful of each other. I'm lucky to have a wonderful, and spiritual husband that supports me through and through. When I do break down in tears, he's right there to scoop me up in his arms and hold me.

Meditation does help. The trick is to never make it a chore. I will never forget one night in peaceful meditation, I was expecting much. Just planning to drift off to sleep. Instead I found myself, standing on the rocky shore of a beautiful, still lake. Through the fog, a small wooden boat glided through the water creating ripples. I remember all these little details because I believe I was there in spirit. My father sat in this boat, rowing it. He smiled, and I climbed in. He rowed and rowed, ever so gently. We just sat there with smiles on our face and didn't say a word. Meditation is wonderful in healing.

It sounds like you have a plan for yourself in turning things around and that is so important! Buy you some nice journals or get a nice leather bound customized journal. Set up a nice, tranquil spot...your spot, that everyday you can go to and relax and write. Even if it's just for a few minutes to write a quote or a thought. I'm sure you will find easing back into drawing will have a great part in your healing.

There is an app I have on my phone that I use every day. It's set on a time, to 12:34 pm. It's quotes from the Dalai Llama. I have several of his books and he has many wise words. His quotes are simple and deeply meaniful. Sometimes, a certain quote is just what I need for what I'm conquering that day. Before that, I did have a daily calender of Buddhist quotes that I'd rip off a page everyday. Two of them were so meaniful to my hubby & myself that we framed them.

The Web is loaded with zen quotes too. If you find one that means alot to you, by all means, post it up somewhere. Paint it on the wall or have it framed. I have several books too, from our local bookstore. I live in the bible belt of Texas so the "Zen" section is tiny compared to all the Christian books they carry, but there is also Amazon.com. ( I own alot of books,haha)

Anytime you need to chat, you can pm me. The one thing I've learned through all this, is its so important to have support and a listening ear.

Take care of yourself. You will see your father again.