I really like your positive perspective. I don't want to lose sight of positive changes, or of the need to speak out against wrongdoing.Xiao Rong wrote:I completely sympathize with you. Recently I was shocked to discover how deep the sexism in my family runs, and exactly how chauvinist my father was and is towards my mother, leading to decades of emotional abuse at his hand (he has always been emotionally abusive to me, but it was horrifying to learn he had been far worse to my mother). Not to mention that I think the past few years in general have been remarkably bad for gender equality (e.g. the rollback in reproductive rights in the US).
I take some comfort in that so long as there are people who try to speak against sexism, change will happen, however slowly or stubbornly. In the last 50 years gender equality has come a long way - hell, even in the past 5 years or so we've seen unprecedented progress in LGBTQ rights. And when I say "speak against sexism", I think it applies in both big and small ways - whether it's becoming a politician and enacting change or something as seemingly minor as making sure both partners in a relationship do equal amounts of housework or calling someone out on sexist jokes. We are all agents in change, and change will happen so long as we continue to ask for it.
Yes, it was quite helpful, and thank you for sharing your perspective. I have been part of a 12-Step group for codependents and co-addicts and I am a huge believer in that system. I too am learning to not be reactive. At the end of the day, I don't ask myself, how was my day, but how was *I* today? I used to recount all the wrongdoings of my day, but now I just think about my behavior, or try to! LOL.firebirdflys wrote:Hey Violet flower, I can sympathize with you, we are surrounded by sexist garbage all the time. I deal too with it at work, only in a kinda different way, as my boss is gay and seems to think everyone in the world is gay and just hasn't realized it yet. He is also very emotionally and verbally abusive, so going to work is not always fun, even though I really love my profession. The hours I get work well with my health issues, or I would try to get another job. Heck, I might still look for another job. In any case, I have recently started going to Al-Anon, because of issues with my husband. I am beginning to realize that I don't have to be involved in another's opinion if I don't agree with it. The hardest thing in the world is not to react. I was all about reacting. I think you have done much towards safe guarding yourself from the media world, If I could have my way, there would be no TV in this house at all.!! Unfortunately my process has been a relatively slow one, but I am very grateful for the steps I have traveled thus far.
I don't know if this was helpful at all, just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
It's like what this lady taught in this self-defense for women course I took once. "Appear" confident, she said, even when you don't feel that way. Appearing strong is sometimes the best defense, better than gadgets like tasers, pepper spray, etc.Violet Flower Witch wrote:I learned from this series of situations that it's important to appear strong; otherwise you will attract people who prey on your vulnerabilities.