Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

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Xiao Rong
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Disney's Frozen & Shadow Work -- A Case Study

Post by Xiao Rong »

I feel like I've been discussing the Shadow a lot, and so I wanted to discuss an example of the Shadow in detail. The best depiction of the Shadow I've ever seen is in the Disney movie Frozen, so I'm dedicating this post to her struggle to accept her Shadow. Of course, I'll start with the disclaimers that this is merely my interpretation, and SPOILERS FOLLOW.

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The movie begins with the princesses Elsa and Anna as children (they seem to be about 8 and 5, respectively). As is evident from the opening scenes, Elsa has cryokinetic powers and can control ice and snow. In the opening scenes, she is entirely at ease with her powers, and her gifts bring her and her sister great joy and love. Children are usually whole, with no distinction between the Light and the Shadow; they simply ARE.

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However, after Anna almost dies when Elsa accidentally blasts her with ice, her parents are understandably terrified. They take Elsa and Anna both to the trolls, whose magic saves Anna from death. The troll elder tells Elsa and her parents that her gift has great beauty, but also can be very dangerous (sometimes I wonder how different the movie would be if the troll elder had told Elsa instead that her gift is dangerous but also beautiful!). The King determines that the best thing to do is to conceal her gift and to keep it hidden, in part by isolating Elsa as well.

Now, Elsa has learned that there is a part of her that is dangerous and needs to be rejected if she is to be a "good girl". She repeats the mantra, "Conceal it, don't feel it. Don't let it show". Since her powers are triggered by emotions, Elsa struggles to keep her emotions under control and to feel nothing at all. She even dons a pair of gloves as a physical reminder to repress her powers. Her powers over ice have become her Shadow. Outwardly, she projects the image of the perfectly prim and proper princess, well-mannered and dignified. Yet the process of cutting off this piece of herself costs her the ability to express love towards others -- most tragically, she loses her connection to Anna, who also suffers from isolation and neglect.

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Yet the Shadow isn't so easily rejected. We see that externally she tries to be calm and reserved, in the privacy of her room, her Shadow tends to manifest unexpectedly. She has only to put her hands on the windowsill and it inadvertently frosts over. When she loses her parents, she clearly cannot contain her grief, and we see her bedroom covered in ice. Likewise, the more the Shadow is repressed, the more likely it is to rear its head and take over, as it does after her coronation, when her uncontrollable terror plunges her entire queendom into a devastating winter (setting into motion the main plot of the story). In front of her entire queendom, her dignified persona comes crashing down as they realize that she is anything but.

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In the song, "Let It Go", Elsa finally begins to embrace her magic. For the first time, she doesn't need to repress her powers, and quickly discovers that it is incredibly liberating to be able to, well, "let it go." She can express her rage, frustration, exhilaration, and defiance freely at last. Similarly, when we first indulge in liberating the Shadow, we find ourselves capable of so much more than we could possibly have dreamed of (Elsa, it turns out, is quite the architect, fashion designer, and battle mage!).

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Yet she's still not fully in control -- at one point, she almost lets the Shadow overtake her entirely. She nearly kills two men (albeit in self-defense), and her ice palace begins projecting spikes aimed towards her (representing how it almost destroys herself).

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The true catalyst for her acceptance of the Shadow, however, winds up coming from Anna. Throughout the movie, Anna has been discovering the terrible effects of her sister's magic, and it very nearly kills her. Yet she dramatically chooses to sacrifice herself to save her sister's life -- in this, Anna represents unconditional love, who accepts Elsa for both her Light and her Shadow, with full knowledge of both. It is this realization that shows Elsa the secret to her Shadow ("Love will thaw!"), and she finally truly accepts her Shadow as part of herself. In the final scene, we see Elsa, fully in control of her Shadow, using magic borne out of love (for herself, for her kingdom, for her sister) to make an ice skating rink in the castle courtyard to the delight of her subjects. Having accepted herself, good and bad, she can be the dignified queen she always wanted to be -- but with the capacity for levity and joy she lacked before. She has found the gifts in her Shadow, and she can choose to use it for positive, rather than destructive, ends.

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~ Xiao Rong ~ 小蓉 ~ Little Lotus ~
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random417
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Re: Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

Post by random417 »

Seraphin wrote: I may compare these shadows to the Kabbalistic concept of "Triad of Pain" (Negative Shadow) and "Triad of Pleasure" (Positive Shadow). According to Kabbalah, these are the two triads that are unique to each individual. These triads are where we hold our hidden thoughts, traits and emotions of pain and pleasure. And these have a great influence on our decision-making.

From the Golden Dawn's work with kabbalah comes another idea relating to the Shadow as well, the "Dweller at the Threshold". This is the idea that in order to progress past a certain point, actually pretty close to the beginning, one must confront this Dweller, who from what I took of my experience, it's pretty close to this idea of Shadow. The other thing that the Dweller embodied as well, was your fears.

Interestingly enough, facing the Dweller marks the point at which your progress continues (although to a lesser degree) even if you run away. To a point, it's the point of no return. Did anybody have the same experience with Shadow work?
So with thy all; thou hast no right but to do thy will.
Do that, and no other shall say nay.
For pure will, unassuaged of purpose, delivered from the lust of result, is every way perfect.
~AL 1:42-44
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Re: Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

Post by Xiao Rong »

Hey Random! I hadn't heard of the Dweller concept before (not very familiar with the Kabbalah). I think you're right in that once you've started the process of making the Shadow conscious (facing the Dweller, as you said), even if you stop actively trying to do Shadow work, the process continues because it's entered your awareness again and it's very hard to unsee it again. I think the problem with that is that once you recognize the things you hate in yourself but choose NOT to consciously move towards self-acceptance (the goal of active Shadow work), then it becomes very easy to get caught in a cycle of self-loathing and despair, which will just make you miserable and isn't constructive at all. I think it's natural to experience that self-loathing in active Shadow work too, but at least in the latter you can actively choose to resolve it, whereas running away from the Dweller / Shadow will just mean that your healing process will take much longer.
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Re: Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

Post by random417 »

The process of confronting your Dweller is something I'd place kind of at the beginning of this Shadow work concept. The Kabbalah is as much about looking at the internal landscape as the external, so there's an aspect of... bringing aspects of the Shadow into your awareness throughout the working. Confronting the Dweller is something that is, or functions as an initiation, even when doing the work solo. Maybe that also contributes to why the work pushes itself.
So with thy all; thou hast no right but to do thy will.
Do that, and no other shall say nay.
For pure will, unassuaged of purpose, delivered from the lust of result, is every way perfect.
~AL 1:42-44
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Re: Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

Post by shatteredsouls »

Xiao Rong, I like how you used the movie Frozen to explain the concept of Shadow. I haven't watch the movie yet but I will watch it one day! I know, I know, I'm slow. I believe all of us have shadows. We want to hide them because we want to be 'normal'. If we show them, people may not take it well. We fear rejection.

I think about myself when I read your analysis about shadows but cannot retrieve anything. I should think about what I have suppressed. Maybe it's been too long...? :/
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Re: Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

Post by Xiao Rong »

Hey Shatteredsouls! Glad you liked my post, and yes, I think rejection from others is a key reason for why we repress the Shadow.

As for trying to see your Shadow, it is often easier to see your Shadow projected onto other people. For instance, can you think of someone for whom you have an almost irrational dislike? Someone whom your friends think are okay, but you just viscerally cannot stand them?
~ Xiao Rong ~ 小蓉 ~ Little Lotus ~
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Re: Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

Post by Pinkpower_80 »

Xiao, thank you for such a wonderful post, as usual! I have been stuck in a major depressive cycle for months, dealing with fear, self-loathing, guilt, anger, and all sorts of other "fun" emotions. It got even worse in February, when something happened that caused me a lot of grief, guilt, and emotional pain. The event was out of my control, but parts of me still feel like I could've/should've done more to fix the situation. Ever since then, I have so much animosity & anger, even in situations that have nothing to do with what happened. This has caused me to become very abrasive towards myself & my loved ones. When I get angry & lose my temper, the cycle of self-loathing & guilt starts all over again.
I have come to a point where I either cry constantly and feel hyper-emotional or I don't feel anything at all. I can't take living this way & I am trying hard to change it. The turning point when I realized how bad off I am came when thoughts & urges of self-harm creeped their way back in. I worked for so long on not harming myself and to have those thoughts again scares the hell out of me. I started cutting when I was 12 due to the terrible abuse my father & his wife at the time inflicted upon me. I did it for years, up until my late 20s. I was able to get a handle on it about 5-6 years ago, after many hospitalizations and even some serious suicide attempts.
Last week I became so overwhelmed with negative emotion that I clawed my own arm. That is how it all started when I was 12. This is the first time I have admitted what I did to myself recently & the thoughts I am fighting.
I think some shadow work would do me a world of good so I can begin to love & accept myself again.
Sceada

Re: Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

Post by Sceada »

Xiao Rong wrote:Thanks, Heartsong!

As for the Positive Shadow, I actually don't have a huge amount of information on it. It seems like it's less problematic than the Negative Shadow (less likely to jump out at you and bite you in the a** when you don't expect it), so I haven't found very much about it ... I'll keep my eyes peeled though if I see more!

Also, one thing I did recently was to develop a Tarot Spread to tell you more about your Shadow (in part because the last few weeks I've been doing a lot of Shadow work, and also because I am practicing Tarot!):

---6
---5
-3--4-
---2
---1

1) The Light - What you know and accept about yourself
2) Your Shadow - What is hidden from you about yourself
3) Why You Fear Your Shadow - What is preventing you from seeing or accepting your Shadow
4) Why You Should Embrace Your Shadow - What are the positive sides of the Shadow that would benefit you?
5) How to Integrate the Shadow Into the Light - What steps you should take in order to accept your Shadow
6) The Outcome - The possibilities if you can succeed in bringing the Shadow into the Light

I think these could also easily be applied to your Positive Shadow as well!
This is amazingly awesome! I've been doing some shadow integration work because my cards have been suggesting it but I really didn't know where to start. I've been doing meditations but I think that this will be an amazing addition. Thank you!
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Re: Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

Post by Nightwatcher »

Xiao Rong wrote:Thanks, Heartsong!

As for the Positive Shadow, I actually don't have a huge amount of information on it. It seems like it's less problematic than the Negative Shadow (less likely to jump out at you and bite you in the a** when you don't expect it), so I haven't found very much about it ... I'll keep my eyes peeled though if I see more!

Also, one thing I did recently was to develop a Tarot Spread to tell you more about your Shadow (in part because the last few weeks I've been doing a lot of Shadow work, and also because I am practicing Tarot!):

---6
---5
-3--4-
---2
---1

1) The Light - What you know and accept about yourself
2) Your Shadow - What is hidden from you about yourself
3) Why You Fear Your Shadow - What is preventing you from seeing or accepting your Shadow
4) Why You Should Embrace Your Shadow - What are the positive sides of the Shadow that would benefit you?
5) How to Integrate the Shadow Into the Light - What steps you should take in order to accept your Shadow
6) The Outcome - The possibilities if you can succeed in bringing the Shadow into the Light

I think these could also easily be applied to your Positive Shadow as well!
Just did the spread... accurate again. Have I mentioned I really do like your spreads Xiao? *sighs to self* Yep, oddly enough my Shadow is NOT a negative trait but probably my most positive one... and the trait that in the past caused a lot of people to hurt me and take advantage of me. Do you think it's possible for your Shadow to actually be positive traits that you actually burry down instead of the negative ones?
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Re: Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

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Nightwatcher wrote: Just did the spread... accurate again. Have I mentioned I really do like your spreads Xiao? *sighs to self* Yep, oddly enough my Shadow is NOT a negative trait but probably my most positive one... and the trait that in the past caused a lot of people to hurt me and take advantage of me. Do you think it's possible for your Shadow to actually be positive traits that you actually burry down instead of the negative ones?
I also believe that a Shadow does not necessarily contain our negative traits only. I just confronted my Shadow the other day, and it was literally a child that I needed to take care of. I have never allowed myself to be taken care of, I always need to be in control. I would not say that being dependent or allowing others in is a negative trait. But it is what we shun and ignore in ourselves.

Be strong. Understand why you hid this aspect away and know that you are in control. You will figure this out Nightwatcher!

Azriel
^-^~
Unfold your wings and take off into the sky
Before you're burned, become the sun
Blow, oh wind... It guides you into the sky
Before your whole self is taken away

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Re: Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

Post by Nightwatcher »

azriel wrote:
Nightwatcher wrote: Just did the spread... accurate again. Have I mentioned I really do like your spreads Xiao? *sighs to self* Yep, oddly enough my Shadow is NOT a negative trait but probably my most positive one... and the trait that in the past caused a lot of people to hurt me and take advantage of me. Do you think it's possible for your Shadow to actually be positive traits that you actually burry down instead of the negative ones?
I also believe that a Shadow does not necessarily contain our negative traits only. I just confronted my Shadow the other day, and it was literally a child that I needed to take care of. I have never allowed myself to be taken care of, I always need to be in control. I would not say that being dependent or allowing others in is a negative trait. But it is what we shun and ignore in ourselves.

Be strong. Understand why you hid this aspect away and know that you are in control. You will figure this out Nightwatcher!

Azriel
^-^~
The card that came up was the Empress; love, compassion, nurturing, growth. When I was little I was (according to my parents) a very bright, happy, sunshine-y child. I began going to pre-school and no one would play with me. I was be teased and bullied because my parents were immigrants (I live in an area with politicians, federal judges, very influential people). Over the years since then, through grade school and on I shoved that waywaywaywayWAY down. I still don't want to act that way again.

It's such a positive thing; to want to love and nurture people who need it. But so many people have used and abused me because of it since I was so little (how can you tell a 3 year old child that their parents are "dirty foreigners" and feel no shame!?!?) that I honestly don't want to show it anymore to anyone but those extremely close to me.
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Re: Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

Post by Xiao Rong »

Well, typically when I think of the Positive Shadow, it tends to be something that you admire in other people and wish that you had in yourself, not recognizing how you are often embodying this trait. (for instance, if you are always talking about how much you admire Nelson Mandela or MLK Jr., for instance, it is an indication that you have disowned this trait in yourself).

Which might be the case with you, Nightwatcher, although I suspect that what happened with you is that you exhibited a positive trait (being generous, warm, and caring), but because you were hurt by other people, you came to associate being loving and nurturing with being vulnerable and weak. It's true that intimacy requires vulnerability, but by forswearing the latter, you lost the former.

The important thing about embracing the Shadow is discernment -- in your case, knowing when it is appropriate and useful to exhibit warmth and caring (e.g. towards loved ones), and when to armor up and be tough (e.g. to used car salespeople). Where the Shadow gets you is when you have decided never to show warmth or caring to anyone ever again. Maybe that was a useful or adaptive response when you were in school against a lot of bullies, but it's the Shadow at work when, even though you're no longer surrounded by bullies, you still can't express the Empress in you towards people you love. The truth is, warmth and caring is not always good in all circumstances; nor is being tough and cold always good in all circumstances. Saying that you should ALWAYS be caring in all circumstances is quite an extreme statement (as is saying you should ALWAYS be tough). The truth is, we have always had the capacity to be both. Where discernment comes in handy is knowing when it is helpful to be kind and caring, and when to be tough and take no sh*t. That's the secret of Shadow work -- to see it for its gifts, and be able to use it when you need it.
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Re: Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

Post by Nightwatcher »

Xiao Rong wrote:Well, typically when I think of the Positive Shadow, it tends to be something that you admire in other people and wish that you had in yourself, not recognizing how you are often embodying this trait. (for instance, if you are always talking about how much you admire Nelson Mandela or MLK Jr., for instance, it is an indication that you have disowned this trait in yourself).

Which might be the case with you, Nightwatcher, although I suspect that what happened with you is that you exhibited a positive trait (being generous, warm, and caring), but because you were hurt by other people, you came to associate being loving and nurturing with being vulnerable and weak. It's true that intimacy requires vulnerability, but by forswearing the latter, you lost the former.

The important thing about embracing the Shadow is discernment -- in your case, knowing when it is appropriate and useful to exhibit warmth and caring (e.g. towards loved ones), and when to armor up and be tough (e.g. to used car salespeople). Where the Shadow gets you is when you have decided never to show warmth or caring to anyone ever again. Maybe that was a useful or adaptive response when you were in school against a lot of bullies, but it's the Shadow at work when, even though you're no longer surrounded by bullies, you still can't express the Empress in you towards people you love. The truth is, warmth and caring is not always good in all circumstances; nor is being tough and cold always good in all circumstances. Saying that you should ALWAYS be caring in all circumstances is quite an extreme statement (as is saying you should ALWAYS be tough). The truth is, we have always had the capacity to be both. Where discernment comes in handy is knowing when it is helpful to be kind and caring, and when to be tough and take no sh*t. That's the secret of Shadow work -- to see it for its gifts, and be able to use it when you need it.
Thank you for your reply Xiao. I always appreciate your insight. I'll do some reading into it; I know it's not good or healthy to shove down a positive trait all the time. Sadly habits die hard.

Thank you!
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Re: Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

Post by Naudia Threng »

This was a very interesting post! Debbie Ford's idea of the shadow reminds me a bit of the Sheut (which is my belief).
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Re: Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow

Post by Naudia Threng »

Just realized that there was a second page. Oops!
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