Feeling godless?

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Neha_rose
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Feeling godless?

Post by Neha_rose »

For most of my life, I've tried to find a home in Jesus because my family has been in and out of churches, but also with other gods like Brigid, Aphrodite, and a few others. I can feel god energy in my life sometimes really strongly, and then it leaves. I remember praying to Jesus and trying to find comfort in him but never feeling like he was actually there for me, whereas I hear Christian testimonies about feeling his presence and I feel like I appealed to the wrong god in my earlier years. I don't even relate to that religion and now I find it really disturbing (the threat of going to hell, how it is the only 'true' answer, blah blah) but I tried so desperately to find peace in it and with him. I've known for a while that I am pagan but I've been kind of searching for like, 7 years now, for a god and I can't find a steady one who I feel motivated to worship or work with regularly. I honestly feel really alone because of this, and I want to find comfort in a god or goddess. I like the *idea* of different goddesses (and goddesses appeal more to me than gods) but when I try to reach out to them or light a candle for them or make a shrine, it just feels off. I'm looking more into eastern gods because Taoism and qigong really 'click' with me and make me feel grounded, but I worry about not being accepted by a god apart from my lineage because someone told me they will shun you in the afterlife if you weren't born into their culture.

What helped you find your god if you searched for them for a while? I'd be happy to hear any advice you have based on what I shared, I feel a bit lost.

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SpiritTalker
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Re: Feeling godless?

Post by SpiritTalker »

I stopped trying to put a face, personality or name on god/dess & focussed on what the energy revealed of itself. The concept that "all gods are one god & all goddesses are one goddess" made sense to me, sort of like a rose by any other name... & IMO culture of birth isn't law. When a god-form speaks to your soul it can't be ignored. What god would shun the soul? I think when someone makes such statements they are thinking of play-acting devotions in the god-of-the-month club, which is a human judgement rather than an act credible to a wise god/dess.

There's a bit of wisdom in the book "Far Pavilions" in which the main character had been raised in 3 different cultures: Hindu, Islam & Christian. He addressed his concept of god as being everywhere but worships where he's at, and god has many forms but the youth worships him/her as the great mountain... &'thus the book title.

Neha_rose
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Re: Feeling godless?

Post by Neha_rose »

Thank you SpiritTalker, I appreciate the idea from that book you mentioned and can see what you mean about human judgment. I'm not sure why I have such a hard time sticking to honoring god if I can't call them a name. I've tried making up my own name for god(s) but I would like some aspect to stand out to me. I sometimes believe that all gods are part of the one, and they're potentially just aspects of this ultimate energy, so it makes sense to honor the ultimate. Thank you for the reply- I hope you're having a good day!

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Siona
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Re: Feeling godless?

Post by Siona »

Neha_rose wrote: I'm looking more into eastern gods because Taoism and qigong really 'click' with me and make me feel grounded, but I worry about not being accepted by a god apart from my lineage because someone told me they will shun you in the afterlife if you weren't born into their culture.
To be blunt, whoever told you that didn't really know what they were talking about. It's true there are some closed traditions where one might have to be born into the culture, or go through specific initiations, etc, to really know particular deities/spirits/etc. For a modern example, if you want to honor and know the mysteries of the deities of Gardnerian Wicca, you are going to have to be initiated into Gardnerian Wicca, because that information is oathbound to the tradition. That said, there are many, many open traditions out there.

Classical pagans did not limit themselves to the gods of the culture they were born into, even if they would have been the ones most would gravitate to, as they'd be the ones more well known to them. We know Isis was widely worshiped in ancient Egypt, but her worship spread throughout the ancient world, and there was a temple of hers in Roman Pompeii. The ancient Egyptians adopted foreign deities into their pantheon, such as Qadesh. The Greeks worshiped Bendis, a foreign goddess. The Romans worshiped the Celtic Epona. They even merged deities to become 'new' ones, like Serapis, or Sulis-Minerva. Many Eastern pantheons are no different, and many are open to worshipers who are from other cultures.

That worry could be blocking you from forming a connection. Try reading up on the deities and practices that interest you, look far back into their origins, and look how they spread. You will probably find quite a bit of movement, additions, change, etc, through the history. Also know that forming a connection can take a long time, and it can feel or be experienced in many different ways. Not everyone will necessarily feel a presence, etc. Acknowledgement can come in many small ways. And it may only come after quite a time of devotion. One can also learn the lessons of a deity, grow through honoring them, without ever really "feeling" them. It can be very different from person to person.
I sing of you, blessed, night-winged Dream, Messenger of things to come, greatest prophet to mortals, in the quiet of sweet sleep you come silently and speak to the soul.

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barker
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Re: Feeling godless?

Post by barker »

Godlessness? Work with fire.
Hopelessness? Work with deities.
Recklessness? Work with truth.

You only have one life an it's spiritualised once you cherish your time alone. The others are there for that reason also - to cherish their time alone. Wait and see, curious things start happening when your work realises the divine. Via the 3 questions above. barker

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Lord_of_Nightmares
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Re: Feeling godless?

Post by Lord_of_Nightmares »

It is possible not to put a name or culture on the gods, it is also possible to practice without them. Likewise, one could interpret the gods merely as archetypes or extensions of oneself.
I am the Earth, The Sun and the Stars
And I am the also the Moon
I am all animal and birds,
And I am the outcast as well, and the thief
I am the low person of dreadful deeds,
And the great person of excellent deeds
I am Female. I am Male and I am Neuter.
- Devi

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