Jesus called me but I said no

[WildFlower93]

I've been thinking about Patron deities, and two years ago when I was out of body Jesus came to me and asked me to follow him. At the time I really did need his help and he is naturally close to me as he is the deity of my family (christian), and I will always respect him because of it, but it doesn't feel right to me to work with him. I struggle a lot with the idea.

So I'd been searching for a while for a new Patron that would have me. I prayed to a lot of deities one of which was Durga and I read the entire Devi Mahatmyam which really touched me deeply somewhere, and her Presence was healing and protective. And I will always cherish her too because of that but also because at one point in my life many years ago I was very close to her consort Shiva.

But as far as Patron deities go it still didn't feel like a right fit. So I'd been praying to many deities asking for signs that they want to work with me or be my Patron. I heard nothing back and was starting to lose hope. I tried guided meditations and everything. Although Brigid did faintly mention she would stay with me until I find my proper fit. That was nice but we didn't communicate a lot...

But then last night something incredible came over me. I hadn't really been researching Diana the Roman goddess but first I felt her presence. And I went to take my dog for her last night pee and the sky was clear and the moon was nearly full and all I saw was Diana everywhere (her presence).

Then I went to bed and I decided to try and pray to her for the first time. And for the first time I heard an instant reply!! I couldn't believe it!!! She said she will be my Patron/Matron if I will allow her, and that I should dedicate myself to her on the up coming full moon (in three days). I said I will think about it, but that I will give her an offering the next day (which is today) to say thank you for replying. I was very humbled.

Then after a period of silence she opened my eyes to a vision, I was in a beautiful forest in the day, and she was there is front of me. She had a shining crescent moon on her head as a diadem/tiara. Then she gave me a hug and she said she has a gift for me. I asked what it was. She replied it was everything that she governs will be accessible to me, for personal growth. So again I said I will think about it.

I then asked her how I should refer to her, because I wanted to refer to her as Mother. She said instead to refer to her as an older sister. Maybe that's just what I need in my life right now. I already have a loving mum at home but I don't have any older siblings

So now my question is really is it okay to not accept Jesus and accept Diana instead, whilst still honouring Jesus as important due to tradition? It feels right to me somehow. Also does it really sound like Diana has chosen me to be my Patron/Matron?

Also how does Diana like her offerings? What herbs does she like? What foods/drinks? Anything else I should know of? This is will be a relationship in progress however as I get to know her so I don't expect to do anything amazing right away but I do want to do something as special as I can and heartfelt.

I also read about the drawing down the moon ritual, do you think I should do that on the night of the full moon if I choose to initiate myself to her?

And how can I get to know her better? Are there any texts I can read of her? Roman mythology? Perhaps the witches gospel of Aradia? Sorry I have been writing so much but I'm also very excited!!!

Thank you all for reading and would love to read your responses in return.

[SnowCat]

Jesus can still be a friend, mentor, and influence. There is nothing wrong with maintaining a tie to your family's tradition. You can ask Diana what she would like. And you can remain open to working with more than one deity.

Snow

[planewalker]

I don't know if my personal situation would be instructive in making your choice but, I hope it helps. I have been around the Arts and choices of religions since I was an embryo. A great gram who was an Onandaga Indian. Another who was "A Carpathian - NOT A GYPSY - D@MN IT !!! I do not put my home out on the road!". They found me to be teachable and talented. To get things really Rockin' & Rollin' my dad ,who was a "I don't give a sh:tian", fell in love with and married a Southern Baptist. Mom could get him into a Methodist church for an hour and a half a week because he had been baptized a Methodist and she was going to keep that Pagan crap out of my head. I was gonna have RELIGION! It sort of back-fired on her. I loved to read. I loved the Craft and Indian Medicine. I wanted to KNOW and why stop at the few I was being offered. The Abrahamic religions, Hindi, Gurkas, Buddhism. Then there was Confuscius, Daoism,Shintoism. How about the beliefs of the South Sea islanders which bumped me up against the Olmecs, Mayans and let's start around the world again and get particular and find the ones I missed the first time. It then snowballed from there. I've gotten atheist science types to try going to church. My mom was still "saving" my soul when I was in my mid 30's. It was getting real old. I was a sick puppy for a while so I was at boredom's edge for a couple months, her Minister was a nice guy and at the time was running low on sermon material. I guess even the clergy gets writers block from time to time. I helped him out with a thumping good set of sermons that would run for 6-8 weeks depending on how he decided he wanted to do it. He gave me a clean religious bill of health so it got my Mom of my back. She was getting heavy by then, so that worked out OK. I have given Mormons Biblical beatings to the point that they finally dropped an elder on me ,instead of the fresh faced kids. I beat him in a fair Biblical throw down. When I'm in my yard and they're out on the streets during the summer I smile,wave and invite them in. They cross to the other side of the street and "avert their eyes". It's hilarious. Out of all of it I've boiled it down to - pick out a religion, or deity, or pantheon that you feel comfortable with. If that's not working for you go with none at all or make up your own. Every religion started somewhere. I worry about the "r" part of religion, not the"R" part. Have a hand ready to hold out to help, even when your arm is tired. Have a smile and kind word for those who need it, even when your having the day from he!!. Remember faith in yourself and your fellow man. Be a friend to someone who needs one and doesn't have any. Live by the creed that to respect yourself you must respect those around you. You don't have to agree with them. You don't even have to like them. If you don't respect them you can never truly respect yourself.
I feel comfortable with the Law of Three. Look at religion as the old three sided coin. Right the thr... WHAT? Yup! Three sides. Good or bad. The way I look at it - Light and Dark. Then set the coin on a table. No matter if the side representing light or dark is facing up, look across the table top and that's where I live. In the width. I see myself as an emissary of the light into the darkness. I'm where it's real and where I am needed. I don't hate the darkness, nor do I fear it. It helps define me. It gives me goals to attain and something to strive against. It can't have me unless I give myself to it. I keep in mind that without it, I am two dimensional and incomplete.
Find what, where and who you are comfortable with. You will be self-conflicted and at counter purposes' with yourself unless you do. If your going to go with Diana practice up on your archery and mid-wifeing skills. My your path be intriging and your step be sure and light. PM me if I can be of any assistance.

[RyukaAscendant]

I always enjoy what you have to say planewalker. I'd ask Dianna, or Artemis as I know her, if it's ok. She may be fine with it but she very much dislikes all men but a few, specifically her twin brother and her father. So keep that in mind. But pantheons do mix and mingle some. I worship gods of knowledge from the Norse, Greek, and Egyptian pantheons and they get along fairly well.

[planewalker]

Ruyka,
I am not directly worshiping Diana/Artemis. I'm just stating what happened in my life so any parallels may be informative. I reverence all deities. I am an adept of the light, with all that entails. Those who practice AmerInd Medicine are, to a fair degree, androgynous. The shamans of a tribe take care of the "white" idea of medicine - curing the sickness of individuals.
Medicine are the "clergy". We are people of the bow. We attract the animals for the hunt. We work the secrets of stealth and trickery in war. I haven't done anything I know of that would be contrary to Diana/Artemis.

Planewalker

[RyukaAscendant]

I should clarify, the comments about Dianna/ Artemis were directed at wildflower.

[WildFlower93]

Thanks all! I valued all your responses.

[autumn swan]

I just love this title 'Jesus called me but i said no'
I feel that it should be a song lol
*ot off*