How to *really* connect with deities?

[Eloen]

I always hear about people being able to talk to their deities (in a sense) and build relationships with their deities. I've always wanted to do this, but despite my attempts, I've never really been able to- nor have I ever really found any signs from any deities. There was this one time I found a necklace in the dirt with the rune algiz on it, but that's a story for another time.
Does anyone have any advice on how to really connect with deities and have that good relationship? How did you do it?

[Siona]

It can take a long time, years, and some will never 'talk' to deities like others might be able to. Everyone is different in this regard.

To get to know a deity there are many things you can do. Build an altar/shrine for them. Read about them, study their history and myths. Pray to them, meditate on them - not just once in a while, but daily, heck, write a daily devotion for them and do it. Take up activities that relate to them - archery/hunting for Artemis, or weaving for Athena, as examples. Make offerings. Not just of food and drink, but of time. Clean litter, volunteer at an animal shelter or soup kitchen - again, find something your deity would appreciate. Celebrate their holidays. Try writing poems or prayers for them, or create ate for them - you don't have to be an epic poet, it's the time and thought that matters. Create or learn a form of divination that would appeal to them, use that to learn to contact with them. Make ritual oils and incense for them. Write music for them, even if it is just a simple drum beat.

The more time you spend thinking of them, doing things for them, the more the bond between you will form, and it will become easier and easier to know and talk to them - however that may manifest for you.

[YanaKhan]

For the longest time I didn't have a real connection to any deity, even though I was working with several.

All I can say here is, it may sound like a cliche, but the connection will come when and if you are ready for it. Don't try and force it. And don't feel bad - connections are built over time and they take effort, but can't be forced.

Siona gave some great advice, you may want to follow it.

[Wanderer022]

I'm quite new to this religion, but I find my connection to them is strongest and gets stronger the more time I spend with them. I actively seek them out in my nature walks, because I believe I can see them through nature. I try to feel the God's energy in big, old trees, in the warmth of the sun, the light of day, I see Him in the flame of a candle, I feel His breath on me as the wind blows. I listen/feel water to connect with the Goddess, imagine the earth growing beneath my feet symbolising Her fertility, feel the coolness of the night and imagine it being Her soft touch, I imagine Her in flowers, and as I touch them, imagine that it's Her touching my hand. I see both of their energies in sexual things.

Perhaps most of the time I just imagined feeling them, because I want to feel them. As time goes by, I started automatically making connections with them. Anything that feels strong and masculine to me I associate with the God, and anything soft and feminine is the Goddess. Fire is strong and warm, it can burn. Therefore it must be the energy of the God. Water is cool and soft, therefore it must be the Goddess.

I guess most of it has been my imagination bringing me closer to them. I speak to them, and I do mean I make conversation with them. Talk about everyday life. I adress them specifically. "Mother Goddess, today..
Happened..." "Father God, today I felt like...and I want to solve problems using...."

I make offerings to them daily. Yeah I don't know. I'm rambling now, but that's how I connected with them. Eventually I just started seeing them EVERYWHERE.

[Katrinkah]

I have heard that the signs/voices are really soft and subtle, and most the time it's just that we can't hear them yet. I heard that from a popular psychic but I wouldn't know I have never communicated with deities.

[rigormortisgirl]

I felt drawn to this topic and I am glad I opened it! Well, I became Wiccan at age 17 (left since then but still am pagan) and I asked for my matron to appear to me and no one ever did. I am 21 and this year , a few weeks ago, mine finally appeared. She is Kali and the reason why she didn't appear sooner is because I feared death and change which is what she is all about. I didn't want my illusions to be crushed but I became accepting of that this year, that things just are not what they are if they aren't, move on. Be thankful it was revealed when it was.

I initially was like,"Why is she appearing to me in dreams?" and I had three of her. The first one involved her and Pele discussing me and the second one, Pele was not there. The irony in that is that they are similar goddesses. After the third one, I realized she was calling out to me and I soon underwent an internal change that led me to understand her energy and her better. I am still working with her to get to know her but all I really do is pray to her, meditate with her energy, I made a portable altar that I carry everywhere and I submerge myself in texts about her and make things in honor of her or do little things in honor of her(such as, when I get my nails painted, red and black to help me channel her energy more). I feel it really depends on your level of comfort and what you are comfortable with doing in order to get to know them better.

There are signs and things that I noticed that are not typically traditional for her but I realized she was using. (Black butterflies, butterflies in general,crows, ravens,hawks, vultures) I had another dream before the three of Kali and three huge, dancing owls which I found out to be a symbol for Lakshmi, one of the three forms of Kali. Have you formally asked for them to reveal themselves to you?

[Leone]

I've had some powerful, personal experience where I know I've made a connection, but that's been extremely rare. Feeling a surge of energy when invoking also tells me that They are present.

Does anyone have any advice on how to really connect with deities and have that good relationship? How did you do it?

Good question! I don't believe I've ever been "thwapped" which is a term you occasionally hear from those who speak with their deities. The effort of reaching out has been on my part, and I think that's more common. The more regularly I practice, or the more effort I put into learning about a goddess and planning how to approach Her, the stronger the connection. Think of it like a long-distance relationship. Somebody has to put in the effort of maintaining it, and usually that's going to be you. So if you feel a connection to a certain deity, read His or Her mythology and history and learn how He or She likes to be honored and worshipped, and then do it! You may want to build a shrine in your home and make a small act of praise on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. Over time you should feel a stronger connection and maybe a sense of what this deity wants from you, or His/Her place in your life. If you don't get anything, however, that's probably a sign that you and this deity are simply not a fit.

[Amaranth3]

Siona had some great advice.
That really connected with me as I have had similar questions lately.