Shadow Work

[dreaming_lucid]

This is a really interesting thread. I have become more aware of my suppressed self over the years, but I hadn't thought of it in terms of a shadow. A few years ago, I had a dream in which I took a ball of darkness into my body, and in the dream I called it anti light. I believe this signaled a turn in my life when I would begin the difficult process of facing unknown and difficult aspects of myself.

Anyway I like to watch a lot of youtube vids, (sorry Traumwanderlin, maybe this one you would like though) and as a visual person, I found a music video that conveys a message of uplift, inspiration, and transformation which fit into this shadow discussion. The song is called "breathe" by telepopmusik. The video alternates between interior and exterior spaces, and has a continuing theme of bringing light in. The scene in the underground subway station is particularly fitting, as a number of shadow figures move through rapidly, and then the protagonist seems to transform the scene into light. Anyway, I wanted to share this because I thought it fit in with the discussion, and for me the video has been a good way to inspire positive transformation. I like to think of it as a message to my subconscious mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDQw-RShRUQ

[[SILVERCROSS]]

However, recently I have been having visions before sleep of someone trying to hurt or kill me. I am not sure if this is my shadow, but it seems like it (it doesn't seem like premonition). I had had a vision a few days before the killer visions, that I pulled out my anxiety and fears (from my head), and that I placed them in a cage in the ocean, guarded by Greek gods. I think this was probably the wrong thing to do, since I was kind of banishing part of myself. The fact that I am having visions of a man coming at me and trying to strangle me before sleep suggests that my shadow is reciprocating the brutal behavior. Its hard to change old habits of rejection, but I will try shadow work again to try to deal with this.

Well,you people do really weird things in weirder ways and have such nightmares.

I too have dreams which has no meanings :
1.I sometimes find myself enjoying the company of film stars,but they are not comfortable in my company !!!!
2.Or disagreeing and fighting with my friends.
3.Or seeing an attractive female whom I might have been thinking of dating a lot....... roaming around with another guy,whose face I fail to remember !!!

Even though I have dreams where I see:
1.People fighting each other.
2.I am fighting someone and I defeat that person,but that person tries to fight me again......as if we can be at this for eternity !!!

All of these are not nightmares as I never get scared of any of them...........but every morning I rise feeling depressed then.
I feel very lonely and there is no one to share my feelings then.

[FiddlinErin]

My cousin is experiencing hallucinations and delusions.

Hi WhiteOne,

Having only signed up on this forum yesterday, I hope you don't mind me replying here. I will be the first to admit I don't know the first thing about Shadow Work and find this thread very interesting. I can't help wondering, though -- do you suppose your cousin might benefit from music therapy? My fiancée is a music therapist, and if you'd like, I can ask him if there's any constructive way his trade can be of help when dealing with this sort of thing. He works primarily with disturbed youth right now, but music therapy really can be useful in all sorts of areas.

As I said, I won't ask him unless you give me the go ahead, though. I'd hate to cross boundaries.

Erin

[WhiteOne]

FiddlinErin,
I know that people on this site, including myself, would love to hear about musical therapy. You could also start a thread on musical therapy, if you want to go that far. Although it is not particularly affiliated with witch craft, I am sure that in earlier ages, anyone who tried to heal people, or to help people heal themselves through music, would have fit into some category of witch healer. Thank you for offering your fiancee's ideas about musical therapy, and I would love to hear if he has any ideas for my cousin, or any general principles that others' might benefit from.
I enjoyed the video, Dreaming_lucid, thanks for sharing. Its funny that we have two posts about music so close together.

[FiddlinErin]

I will certainly start a new thread about it, then. I don't want to spam up the Shadow Work one!

[Traumwandlerin]

Hi WhiteOne,

I just wanted to mention that I really liked your post, where you described your feelings about those tanned, slim, sporty girls. You really have gained much insight in your Shadow there That's exactly what Shadow Work is about

SIlvercross, some dreams have no meaning, some have. It's up to your experience and interpretation skills to decipher. Maybe it's just not your area of interest, so you will never learn cause you don't want to. That's ok, you'll find another thing that fits yourself more. Also maybe you are not interested in Shadow Work? Of course it's about to look to see what's there. You probably don't know in the beginning. It's like being in a dark room. You don't know what's there. So you try with different lights (the different technics, like dream interpretation, watching yourself, meditation, etc) until you can see what's in the dark. The more you work, the better you can guess what's there, but you always start in the dark room

Nightmares are not only about being scared to death (mine mostly are), it's also about being really sad and other other negative emotions. Fear is not the only emotion that is triggered in dreams.

[[SILVERCROSS]]

Hi WhiteOne,
Nightmares are not only about being scared to death (mine mostly are)

Any idea why do you get them ?????

Even after you work out so many ways of getting the better out of life........

[JuniperBerry]

Any idea why do you get them ?????

Even after you work out so many ways of getting the better out of life........

Nightmares can actually be good for you- even for the most psychologically healthy. It's necessary to have some small amount of fear or anxiety about the world outside and those in it, otherwise we leave ourselves vulnerable to attack and abuse. For example, if we weren't afraid of robbers (either from a dream someone broke in a strangled you or not )then we wouldn't lock our doors and we'd leave ourselves open to danger. Nightmares can help us maintain our instinctive 'edge' in that regard.

They also provide our minds with an outlet to explore options and scenarios if we ever are threatened. Sort of like a trial run. A dream that your house is on fire, where you jump out your bedroom window and break your legs, can actually help you better evaluate the situation should it occur. You're less likely to be as rash in jumping out the window since you've had 'practice' and more likely to chose an option that your dreams proved would be more succesful.

Sometimes a nightmare is just your minds way of saying "That episode of Dexter was freaky, yo." Not every dream or uncomfortable feeling is connected to some deep-seated shadow aspect of self that needs to be corrected, identified, and removed.

[Traumwandlerin]

I also meant in the past Sorry, I mixed up the right time. I had very much nightmares, but now they are just the normal amount (about 2 a month by a dream remembrance of about 2 or 3 dreams a night). They now deal mostly with everyday stuff, only seldom they are related to past traumatic things. The everyday stuff still gives me hints how much I'm involved. Also, phobias are still the driving force of my life. Which is ok, I'm still in progress, it's never fast dealing with deep and multiple traumatas. Psychological therapy normally takes about 3 years to get you living again and ten years to get you mostly symptom-free, so I'm really fast with being almost sympton-free after two years.

Also, as JuniperBerry said, nightmares also can have a healing effect. If it's only a small amount of fear or other negative emotions, dreams can release them.

[WhiteOne]

I had a really weird dream recently.
I was at some restaurant, and this ape came in--it looked like an orangutan.
It randomly attacked another ape which was in the restaurant. (it was some tropical restaurant at a beach--outside.)
Then it attacked this guy. It was totally on him--biting him. All the guy did was to stick his arm out.
Then I intervened and got it off him.
I was scared at first. When I looked at it I thought it might attack me. I looked into its eyes and it looked into mine. Its pupils and iris was black, and liquid. It was kind of blobby, like oil, and would float around a little in the white of the eye. This tipped me off that it might be my shadow.
Then I noticed that it mirrored an arm movement that I made. It also repeated the things that I said--although faintly, and without moving its mouth--like a creature that did not know the language.
So I put my hand out, smiled, and said, "Hi, nice to meet you." It did the same, although it did not open its mouth to speak. Then I shook hands with it and it followed me. I embraced it and it embraced me. I said, "lets dance", and took it by the arm and we started doing a slow version of the tango throughout the restaurant.
Does this dream seem to have significance? It seems like the shadow, but a really strange encounter with it.

[Traumwandlerin]

I like your dream

To me it seems you are able to accept your Shadow and know about the vivid dance you both do. You cannot be always light or always dark, it's a dance. Tango is a special dance, with passion and maybe even with struggle. The question is, who took the lead?

Also you can't dance with somebody you don't know anything about. You are willing to accept, but what is it you are accepting? It's not enough to accept your Shadow and dance with it, you need to know with whom you are dancing, otherwise maybe the Shadow takes the lead.

[WhiteOne]

Thanks. Those are good points. Although I was leading, I do have to know what I am dancing with. I think its odd that it likes to mirror me, is that typical of a shadow--just some way to communicate that it is part of myself?
It takes time to find out what is in the shadow. I think that I have a lot of sexuality in the shadow. So--perhaps I view sexuality as sort of animalistic, that is why the shadow takes the form of animal.
An example of my discomfort with sexuality: Once I had a nightmare that these two giant, malformed, chickens that were dressed like Nuns, chained me up and forced me to watch pornography. It was totally terrifying.

I have been pretty lucky to get the results that I have with the small bit of work I have been doing. And I am glad to have figured out why I get so distressed about attractive women--because it is a lot more productive to deal with that kind of anger and resentment with shadow work, then to beat myself up for being "jealous." The thing I hate most about others is that they are prettier than me. ::darkmood:: Hey--considering I am so uncomfortable with sexuality--maybe one of the reason why I feel so much anger for these women is not only that they care about appearance, but also that they seem comfortable in their attractiveness--while I can't stand when I think someone is oggling me...
I am still trying to figure out how to be the many contradictions of who I am. I guess it is like a dance.

[Traumwandlerin]

I think you are doing great Dealing with your sexuality isn't easy since most people repress large part of it. You probably lack of role models and people who are supportive. If you would like to stop smoking, all your friends would jump in to help and lend you an ear, but if you want to tell them "I want to explore my sexuality" your friends probably stop calling. They can't stand someone pulling those things out if they have their sexuality still in the shadow and are afraid.

I also think sexualiy is animalistic, but that's the good point It's such a different aspect of oneself where you are allowed to stop thinking and bothering and just start experiencing. It's also a great journey exploring your wishes and phantasies. Sexuality is a huge part of your creativity and strongly connected to your subconcioussnes. There are so much reason to embrace it.

Your dream was funny. Surely you were totally scared, but just reading your words it sounds totally weird and funny. Are you afraid of watching porn? Do you think it's a bad thing to do? Would you be ashamed if you would watch one and enjoyed it? Why do you think they were chicken?

It's also hard to enjoy sex when you think of yourself less attractive than others. How should anyone let go if she is all the time scared how she would look? If she has this perfect girl in mind and thinks it's maybe even disgusting for less perfect people having sex?

[WhiteOne]

If you would like to stop smoking, all your friends would jump in to help and lend you an ear, but if you want to tell them "I want to explore my sexuality" your friends probably stop calling.

LOL.

That is a good question about the chickens--maybe it does have to do with fear--although they were really scary chickens--like mutant chickens! Maybe it is that I really don't have anything to fear from chickens, so my fear is irrational.

I remembered this time when I was a kid and I stayed at my relative's house, a cousin left the T.V. on a semi-horror movie and fell asleep. The next thing on was some kind of soft-core porn-ish European drama. My Aunt came in while it was on and recognized it. She told me I was a "wicked child", which stunned me because I am, and have been, the kind of person who values ethics highly and who generally admires authority figures such as family and teachers.
But many of my problems with sexuality are less obvious.
For one thing, I was raised by a single mother and haven't been around men in my family life much. When I was a little girl I thought that men were like "Prince Charming", but after puberty I was disturbed to learn that most men aren't. I am reminded of this cynical cartoon image where a princess kisses the frog and instead of turning into a prince, he turns into a giant penis. I think I was a little too sheltered from men, in general, during my childhood, so now I don't understand them.
I suppose a large problem with my sexuality is that I seem to believe that "good" women do not enjoy or want sex. I think this is a popular, but unspoken belief. It is a problem for me because I try to be a good person, and it is important for me to think of myself as one. Plus, again, I don't understand or trust men. I see them, sometimes, looking at other women sexually, when they are with their wives and family. This makes me doubt that monogamy or true love is real. I just don't understand how to reconcile the ideal of monogamy with the reality of human attraction.

[Traumwandlerin]

Actually humanity is social monogamous. Which means: They pretend to be monogamous but aren't. That has nothing to do with being a bad person, but it makes everyone feel bad. It's saying one way and acting another. But this is really how it is. Humanity was never monogamous, but the've almost always pretended, cause otherwise the society would break down. This has always been troublesome for the individuum, but strengthened the society in general. In my opinion true love is only losely connected to monogamy.

Well, I could tell you it's perfectly healthy to have fun with your sexuality. That women who act with fun on their sexual feelings are indeed good and healthy and content women. But this won't help you, would it? Maybe it would help you to look out for female friends who enjoy their sexuality? If you don't have real life friends, you could join an online community.