Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

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Novum Lumen

Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

Post by Novum Lumen »

Okay , So I dont know where else to go turn for a solution to this problem ..
Around 3 years ago I was going out with this girl & I was in love with her, well I loved her at least, one day I done what I believed to be ketamine & I've done it lots of times so I know this is not an effect of the drug. A Girl made of violet & gold sparkling energy like an angel started floating around me & touched me hand & it was beautiful then I felt electric vibrating emotions pulse into my body from contact with her & after it ended when I looked in the mirror I looked really good , my skin was full of color. My eyes had this really bright magnetic light behind them & I just felt amazingly fresh & in tune with my soul. Anyway my girlfriend broke up with me some time later & I done LSD & had a spiritual explosion in my consciousness. It was very emotional dealing with the break up, but this trip unlocked something in me. I felt something come into the back of my neck & next of all my consciousness expanded & it was like my whole perception was broadened & everything became crystal clear & vibrant & if my visual field was made of chunky pixels before now it was like moving to blueray HD. I've done LSD many times & nothing like this ever happened. I know this isn't a drug forum but its relevant to the issue I'm getting to. It was like ... how do I say this .. It was like I could see my Self in everything around me if that makes sense & I kept getting these rushes of energy up my spine & it was causing constant eureka moments as if something was telepathically feeding me information or something. Anyway that lasted like a month & I started seeing this girl I used to go to school with. I got this weird vibe when I looked in her eyes that felt a bit evil but I told myself it was just paranoia but next time I looked in her eyes its like I connected with her & I felt energy beam from my eyes into hers & she kept talking about feeling this thing at her neck but I didn't know what she meant at the time. A week after we slept together I was lying in bed after smoking a joint & I was really relaxed with my eyes closed. I wasn't asleep for 100& certain I was just chilling out on my bed when all of a sudden I felt this hum so I looked to my right & there was this big force field of vibrating transparent substance or something so I tried to get up but as soon as I did I felt this enormous pressure pin me down & there was this girl sitting on my lap choking me gently , then I heard someone whisper in my ear very sharp & distinctly in some language I've never heard before & this voice sounded supernatural in a way I don't know how to describe but it was a female voice .. As soon as the voice stopped something grabbed my spine at my neck area & pulled something (I think it was my soul) out of my body & put something else back inside me & after I got up I felt like a completely different person , my eyes looked dead inside & it was like some shadow was cast over me I lost my shine & felt completely numb inside , my eyes kind of looked like the girl I was seeing to be honest they still do. I remember what my eyes used to look like & what they look like now & its like someone else is looking back at me , after that drugs didn't work anymore they just made me extremely uncomfortable & anxious & I couldnt think like me anymore it just felt like something was missing something very important .. I just couldn't enjoy anything in life anymore after that its like it stole the light & dusk left but dawn never arrived. I used to look good in pictures & stuff before but after that its literally like my photogenicness disappeared along with my charm & my wit. There's really a lot more that happened from then up until now but this is getting quite long so I'm gonna end it here .

If anyone has anything that could help fix this situation & get back whatever it is I lost I would greatly appreciate it , Maybe im just looking at it the wrong way .. If you need more info I can tell the rest of the story . Thanks
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Re: Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

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You seem to be describing common, downside effects of psychotropic drug use, possibly overdose. It does not agree with your body. I'd suggest you use natural meditation instead of artificial substances to attain altered states of consciousness. My hunch - and I'm no psychic MD - is that your energy body link was disturbed, and so the lower self took hold to sustain the physical body. My guess is that's what you see in the mirror. Use a guided meditation designed to rebalance your chakras, & grounding well after each meditation. Possibly re-balancing, or re-tuning the chakras in lowest-to-highest sequence, thus re-linking to their proper energy bodies, will gradually straighten out your core self. At the least, it can't hurt.

Start slow. Build slowly. Progress is a gradual business. There are no short cuts to sustainable spiritual development.
Novum Lumen

Re: Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

Post by Novum Lumen »

Appreciate the response but there was nothing to overdose on .. the new spirit is definitely not me , none of what you said explains anything about the girl sitting on me & whispering in my ear & pulling my spirit out of my body , you literally just jumped to the conclusion that it was drug related & ignored spiritual assault .. I smoked a joint - you cant overdose on a joint , theres actually a lot more to it I just didnt want to write a book about it I was just hoping someone out there might have experience with this & have a solution ..

Actually read this on a site the other day ..
A person in the dark sciences can do soul travel into the victim's presence and put a fragment of their spirit into the victim's spirit. the purpose of the witch is to control the victim and force that person to do what they command. There would have to be an open door in the victim's spiritual armour for this to happen. It can be dealt with by cutting the silver cord which causes the witch to die or by forcing the witch to remove the fragment of their spirit from the victim's spirit.

Then there's this .. maybe I should have posted in shamanism ..
http://www.entityattachment.com/
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Re: Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

Post by SnowCat »

You referenced the use of ketamine and LSD, in conjunction with your experiences. Both substances have properties than can cause what you experienced.

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Re: Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

Post by planewalker »

Dude,

I cut my stoner chops in the 60's and early 70's. I've been clean for twenty years. Come out from under for a while. A joint can push you over the edge, if you've got some serious build-up of by-products in your system that are causing toxicity. Your getting an extremely defensive response to our advice to step back from the train wreck your heading for. You seem like your just looking for people that will give you permission to do more and more drugs. We wouldn't be your friends if we didn't give you what we thought was the right advice. Also, on the spiritual front, there are entities that can latch onto people and trick them into self-destruction so they can feed on the suffering of your soul. Sometimes things ARE to good to be true.

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Re: Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

Post by SpiritTalker »

I responded to the question you asked at the end of the scenario. The girl sitting on you sounds like being hag ridden. I gave you my interpretation of what was meant by being jerked out of body, I.e., psychic shock & misalignment. If you find it is too feeble, at least it was free.

You did not mention personal history memory loss, personality disassociation, or lost time, so in my best guess, no soul switch occurred. The unfamiliar persona seemed from your description to be your own.

You can find a trained spiritual councilor for diagnosis & a soul retrieval ceremony. Best of luck to you.
Novum Lumen

Re: Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

Post by Novum Lumen »

Sorry didn't mean to have a defensive attitude , but its not that I'm looking for permission to use more & more drugs its not like that at all I actually quit all drugs for like a year after that. It's been 3 years now & nothing has really changed much. I used to be so spiritually in sync & after that its like I just felt dead inside. There is more to the story I should probably have mentioned so I'm sorry for the way I came off in my reply. Yes there was memory loss & there things I used to understand very easily became extremely difficult to comprehend. there was a serious degradation of cognitive ability & after that it started feeling like thoughts were being taken out of my head as I was thinking them. Like I would be thinking fine with no problems & I would have a flash of insight into something significant, were when that would happen before, I would have no difficulty recalling the entire revelation. After that happened, when this would occur it was like something in my mind would notice I was realizing something it didn't want me to know & it would delete my train of thought as it was progressing, so I would not know where I was coming from. Then I would lose where I was going then try to examine how I got there & I would literally feel it slipping away or being pulled away even as I had it in mind. Like you know when you try to think of something & its on the tip of your tongue but you cant reach it. Well this would be like having it in your mind but watching it as it slips into oblivion & you can't hold on to it. I really don't wanna be rude or whatever but I used the LSD & the ketamine like a month before this happened & LSD & ketamine do not cause sleep paralysis. I had been doing them for years & never had anything like this occur & I know people who have never touched drugs in their lives who have had sleep paralysis. In response to PlaneWalker - I get what your saying maybe a joint could push you over the edge as you say but I had been smoking weed all the time for a long time before that & I actually felt very good before hand there was no edginess during the high like I know what you mean I've been at the edge many times & I know when I'm losing my s... but this was different, is what I'm trying to express. There was definitely some wicked force involved & it did something to me. It it wasn't chemicals in my brain. I understand your need to try rationalize what I said in some way that makes sense to you but this is a forum that talks about spirituality & magic. I guess I just assumed there would be more advanced opinions rather than the usual psychological semantic you would hear from a psychiatrist. So sorry about that, but honestly if you experienced what I experienced, you would be disappointed by your own answer too. I do meditate occasionally but I told you already since that happened it doesn't seem to work I start hearing internal dialogues that aren't mine & I can't still my mind. The reason I believed my soul was swapped is my expression became just like hers after that. The way she reacts, the way she laughs, the way she talks, the way shes smiles, all resemble this new me. Even the way I look. I can feel her behind my eyes its like I'm wearing her mask if you can grasp that analogy. The story is very long & I really don't know if explaining it will shed any light since you have already told me what your opinion on the subject is but I will abbreviate this much. I was writing songs one day (sober for months) & next of all its like I can feel my ex girlfriend crying through my mind & it revitalized me. It felt like she could see what I was writing & I felt a part of her in me , the next day out of nowhere I could feel that other girl almost looking through my eyes & no its definitely not me. I know myself . But it was like what I was writing was turning her on or something & I could feel her emotion & arousal & it was absolutely amazing. It was like this vibrating vortex of spiraling energy in my stomach that rose up my body to the top of my head & it felt like a big super soul gasm & it wouldn't stop. Any music I listened to would only increase the intensity & frequency until one day it got so strong it was like I could feel her standing in front of me but she looked like me or something I mean she looked like herself but her eyes didn't look like her eyes used to look they looked like my eyes used to look & she looked all bright & glowing the way I did before & I felt this energy exchange between us & its like I got a part of myself back & I felt more like me again. So there you go. I know who I am & that implies knowing who I'm not if you get me. Anyway turns out she has a boyfriend & lots of trouble ensued after that but the feeling continued even though her brothers kind of wanted to kill me & wouldn't let me speak to her & find out if it was real & I'm not sure she wanted to speak to me because if It was real why wouldn't she unless shes a bit crazy & likes playing with me. Anyway s... gets a bit too complicated after that to explain like my phone got hacked. I found a big box of DVDs with a message from the president in the box (I know it sounds crazy but I still have it to prove I'm not making this up) & in the box was a DVD that literally sounded like it was based on my life but exaggerated slightly for entertainment purposes but it resonated on a very very deep level & then I started hearing people singing angelically while meditating or lying down & it was beautiful but I done something aggressive & after that I started hearing voices & stuff when I got too tired & also began having these extremely vivid meaningful dreams almost precognitive but then people started worrying about me & I got admitted to a psyche ward & it all got much much worse the dreams turned to nightmares of demonic nature when before they were really pleasant , after I got out & stopped the medication things started getting better but I decided to do LSD one day & my phone started typing by itself (again , not hallucinating it does this all the time just more extremely when I trip & I can prove it if need be) & I dunno what happened but as I was paying attention to what it said I felt this energy seep into the back of my neck & next of all its like I went from being that girl to being ... okay I actually feel silly saying this to be honest but its like I felt my mind connect with Rihanna hahaha next of all its like I was possessed by a demon or something & then my mind transforms again & I'm Drake the rapper mentally speaking the voice in my head is his & my consciousness acts just like him no other way to explain it I know it sounds ridiculous but after that I lost my connection with that girl & with it myself was gone once again as well as all my energy .. I just felt drained all the time since then & I keep getting tingling sensations in my head that sometimes cause what feels like mental congestion & other times it feels like something is plugging into my head & injecting energy into me that feels euphoric but I can feel the connection & if I cut it with my head I actually feel it disconnect .. thats as abbreviated as possible ..
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Re: Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

Post by Tutmosis »

It seems to me that you're experiencing a mental anomaly in a very peculiar way that ties into your spiritual beliefs. I went through this myself once, but I've had different spirits help heal me and it's been 3 years and I'm still working on it.

I think that you have issues that combine your spiritual side through your physical body, and one remedy would be to start psyche medicine immediately, and that should take care of the physical symptoms. For your spiritual ailments, I suggest finding a deity to pray to for healing and a lot of meditation to clear that up.

I hope that made sense
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Re: Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

Post by Tutmosis »

Also, you should stop taking these drugs. It causes mental degradation if used non-ceremoniously. Hell, even IN ceremony it can happen. You just have to be careful not to hurt your mind more, because you may already be experiencing it.
Novum Lumen

Re: Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

Post by Novum Lumen »

What do you mean by psyche medicine ? Antipsychotics ? I would never subject my brain to that sort of damage those drugs are extremely harmful to the mind but if you have another thing in mind when you say psyche medicine im open to give it a shot , Ive already tried antipsychotics & they made it worse & I was like a zombie & I couldnt function at all ..
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Re: Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

Post by Firebird »

Ibogaine has helped some folks. If you can find a treatment center it may be worth a shot.
In the meanwhile could you please swing by introductions and let us know a little bit about you and your path? Thanks.
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Re: Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

Post by jaybirdblue »

So, in regards to meds, I have my two cents to give. As someone who has a psychotic mood disorder, antipsychotics were probrably the best thing that ever happened to me. And I say that as someone who had to try like...five to get me on the right one. Some of them with wicked side effects. But holy crap now that I'm on the right ones? It's friggin great. And they might not even go with antipsychotics. One of the meds I'm on for my brain is a friggin anticonvulsant. I'm not saying psychiatric medication is for everyone, but if you're having mental health problems, it's always good to consult a doctor. Also remember that they can never force you on medication. So there is never any shame in going there, even if it's just to describe your symptoms.
It's helped me in my spiritual life. It's easyer to see the religious parts of your life when you have a clear mind.
I'll be honest, I didn't read through all of your story, but waking up and feeling as if you're being pressed on or that you're being pulled out of your body is a SUPER common thing when it comes to sleep paralysis. Basically it's when your body is still waking up. When you sleep, your body paralyzed itself so you don't go off and act out your dreams and hurt yourself. You can sometimes wake up too quickly and still have that. You can also still be kind of dreaming.
Outside of the whole paralysis thing, hallucinations right before waking up or going to sleep is actually pretty normal. You could hear voices, feel like you're being smothered, or even see things. It's super freaky, but it's pretty common. Especially if you're exhausted. I know perfectly healthy people who have seen things that aren't there just because they pulled all nighters in college. Weed can't make you hallucinate, but it can make you tired as heck.
Now, I'm not trying to discourage you from interpreting the spiritual side of things. Hell in on this forum aren't I? Hah. But I think it's good to have an understanding of how an average brain can do some pretty freaky stuff when it's under stress or tired.
As for seeing things while you're awake, I always recommend seeing a doctor if you are legitimately seeing something that's not there. You've said you've been on antipsychotics before, so I'm assuming there might have been things similar to this in the past.
If not, I don't know how to interpret it. I'm not that knowledgable in interpreting that.
And I know that it might feel like if you stop experiencing the good parts of seeing and feeling very intense sensations might feel like you're loosing something spiritually. For me personally though, clearing my head was the best thing for me spiritually. Because now I feel like I connect very genuinely to the universe. I also believe that it makes feeling with the paranormal/astral travel/energy work MUCH safer. If you are more centered in your mind, you can more easily set up ways to protect yourself and regulate your energys.
I know I went on kind of a pro drug/sleep paralysis April there, but I genuinely hope you're doing well.
Novum Lumen

Re: Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

Post by Novum Lumen »

What medication are you prescribed ?
Thanks for the reply but I already considered all of what you are saying initially & came to accept that the rational scientific/psychological explanations just didnt cut it & something much more difficult to explain was going on , I met someone on a facebook group a few weeks ago who described the same phenomenon only he seen a girl that made it clear to him she wanted to take his soul & it was strange because hes the first other person Ive encountered who actually had a similar sleep paralysis experience most other people just feel pinned down or an evil presence but nobody ever has said anything about their spirit being taken or anything similar except this guy but he says he felt the being trying to pull his spirit from him but he resisted & it couldnt take it & he got up & everything was fine so obviously I just wasnt as lucky as him (or strong I dunno I never really had a chance to struggle it happened so fast) but I appreciate it anyway ..
By the way you can be forced to take medication which is why I will not speak to a doctor , I know what she will do .. she will say that im not in my right state of mind & that im unwell & give me the option to stay in the hosptial for treatment & if I refuse she will admit that I never really had a choice & get security to restrain me & they will pin me down & forcefully inject me with risperidone & haliperidol despite my objection & ill be forced to stay in the psychiatric ward of the hospital for at least a month or two which really helps nobody & just wastes my time & causes unnecessary suffering , it is not unpleasant or difficult to live my life medication free it is in fact much easier & happier & all medication does is make me forget what the problem is & incapacitate my mind by disabling my functionality while also making stuff much worse so I'll pass on psychiatric "ass-istance" .. They dont give you a choice at all .
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Re: Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

Post by jaybirdblue »

Thanks for hearing me out. But yea, if you've gone over all the rational ideas and it doesn't fit, it might be that there is something going on supernaturally. I don't know what it IS, but it doesn't sound like you're cursed.
And I'm on Effexor, Geodon, Lamictal and occasionally hydoxyzine. I've been on quite the cocktail before and I hear you when you say being under way too many drugs sucks. I'm lookin at you Abilify! Haha.
And, as far as being in a given meds against your will. In a psych hospital, yea, they can do that. BUT a doc can't admit you into a psychiatric institution against your will unless you are a) a danger to yourself or b) a danger to others. In America anyway. I'm just assuming you're American for now. So They can't just go "shit this guy is crazy" and cart you off. Now they can RECCOMEND you go inpatient, but unless you meet one of those criteria, they can't touch you. Or if your a minor, which I doubt. I've gone into the docs before and had them recommend inpatient to me, and I said no, so they gave me outpatient resources and had me stay in touch. Like, Ive even admitted I was suicidal and they didn't send me inpatient because I back pettled.
You can't go to a doctor and just have things administered against your will. Like, a doctor wouldn't just come up to one of those idiot anti-vaccine people with a vaccine because they think their insane. Why would they do that with you? Unless you try to bite the doctor or something stupid like that or tell them you're suicidal, they can't touch you. And if they do, lawyer up and sue the pants off of them. The only way they can force you to take meds outside of a hospital is if you have a court order and takeing your meds is a part of your parole. And it sounds like that's not an issue.
And this isn't me trying to convince you to go to the doctor (ok i admit I totally I am) but mostly because if it's ever something you want to do that you know your RIGHTS. And you DO have rights. That an us mentally ill people are extremely mistreated In the medical field. People with schizophrenia are often seen as a lost cause for doctors (which is TOTAL bullshit btw). A lot of doctors just assume throwing medication at a problem will make it go away. So learning their language and learning how the system works is the best way to navigate through it. So knowing this is important either way
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Re: Spirits or Cursed ? Anyone know what this is ?

Post by sungod »

Medication can do crazy crap.... I have lots of psychological issues so it can be hard to distinguish real from delusion. Your gut feeling can be wrong, not always, but rationality plays a part. Think of, does it make sense? Does it feel like a true spiritual connection, or is it just a weird figure? I was on Effexor and Geodon once, I saw a bunch of crazy things, weird figures of deformed people and demons every time it was dark. Though I'd speak and they done nothing. Had a weird fuzzy figure fly around my bed like a halo... these scared the crap outta me. I had a lot of evil, obsessive thoughts, but once I got off Geodon I was so much better. Now on 225mg Effexor & 300 Lamictal, stable and haven't seen anything weird since. Might be a issue with your medication, body could react strangely. The brain is quite complex. I believe if it were a curse, it'd be milder, unfortunate events and luck. Though I'm quite new at this... I'd check with a doctor first, maybe eat better, try to be healthy and gentle with yourself and after a month or two see how it is, better or worse. Take care of yourself. Good luck. Blessings ~
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