Gremlin vs. Bean Bag

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Heartsong
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Gremlin vs. Bean Bag

Post by Heartsong »

(I will probably post more of these as they unfold. I'm never sure whether I should hold in the laughter or not.)

Image

My gremlin declared war with the bean bag.

The First Battle:

Single-handedly, she led a frontal assault, plunging into death's jaws without a second thought. The bean bag, apathetic both to the cause and to the enemy's swift advance, merely bowed itself inward upon impact, swallowing our little hero to the very tips of her furry ears. Pippi, finding herself surrounded and without reinforcements, quietly retreated, swearing with vengeful brown eyes that this was only the beginning.

The Second Battle:

The drums pounding from the television speakers caused her ears to quiver as she eased down on her belly, slowly crawling, paw over paw, towards her unsuspecting victim. It sat just in the next room, oblivious to its approaching hour of doom. Her tale swished against the carpet once, twice, in perfect tandum with her little heartbeat as she poised on the brink of attack...and victory. Suddenly, she pounces, her legs spread eagle as she leaps, soaring through the air, jaws wide open, teeth bared...

And then her daddy shifts the bag with a foot. She misses, skidding to a stop a nose away from the coffee table. Muttering under her breath, she retreats once more, her father's mocking laughter following her down the hall.

The Third Battle:

She had chased her quarry into a corner, the tile cool beneath her paws as she stalked closer, the bag shoved against the cabinets in the kitchen. Pippi circled left, right, waiting patiently...she strikes!

Lunging forward with a snarl, she suddenly felt her purchase slipping, losing traction, but her momentum could only let her keep running forward. She slammed into her foe, somehow managing to land on the top, and both of them went careening across the kitchen floor, heading straight for the open washroom. Her little brown eyes widened and she let out a yelp as she was helplessly hurtled towards the washing machine.

WHAM!

There was a thunderous boom and she shook her head to clear it, having butted it with the machine. Another crash followed and Pippi stumbled, trying to escape the deafening cadence of noises. Powdered detergent snowed down on her, coating her honey-colored ears in white flakes. Once again, a loud noise, this time a hiss, as water began to leak from beneath the machine. Pippi turned, hoping to flee the battlefield with at least her dignity intact. Unfortunately, her mother stood just behind her, lips twitching madly as she stepped past her soundly defeated daughter to re-tighten the water hose and clean up the mess.

The Fourth Battle:

Pippi glared, brown eyes bright and unblinking, at the pistachio as it sat, tauntingly, upon the precipice of her adversary, it's verdant green a sharp contrast to the dull navy of the beanbag. Her tail swished once, slowly, barely, almost a quiver of anticipation. Honey brown ears were forward, erect, striking into the air sharply, quivering.

It had to be a trap...this was too easy...

The muscles in her tiny body bunched, then sprung, uncoiling like twisted wire as she leaped into the air, fangs bared in a vibrating snarl. Paws sank into the material of the bag, jaws closing with a triumphant snap of teeth around-

Nothing.

The pistachio soared upwards, hung suspended for a brief moment. Then it was careening back down, thumping into the carpet dully before tumbling beneath the cabinet, into darkness, into defeat.

Pippi slunk from the clutches of her nemesis, bested on the field of combat once again, the tang of annihilation bitter on her tongue. She muttered a curse beneath her breath, the indifferent stare of the beanbag following her retreat.

This was not over.

Beanbag: 4 Pippi: 0
Dance like the Maiden
Laugh like the Mother
Think like the Crone
Moonfire
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Re: Gremlin vs. Bean Bag

Post by Moonfire »

This was positively adorable! I really enjoyed reading this and it kind of made me want to tackle writing something of my cat with her own funny quirks. xD
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Heartsong
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Joined: Tue Oct 01, 2013 2:07 pm
Gender: Female
Location: South Carolina

Re: Gremlin vs. Bean Bag

Post by Heartsong »

Hehe, thank you, Moonfire! Pippi provides all kinds of material to write about, and she's always hilarious. :)
Dance like the Maiden
Laugh like the Mother
Think like the Crone
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