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Freezer Spells

For the most part, I think that spells can be a valuable way to act out your anger, resentment, bitterness or jealousy. The very act of doing a spell can make a person who feels powerless or victimized feel at least briefly that they are somehow in control of the situation again.

I have found the following freezer spells to be quite satisfying to do, if you find yourself somehow dumped, oppressed or just plain wishing for some kind of psychological torture to stop.

I love these spells because they fall under the category of folk magick. Yet at the same time they are very modern because they make use of the fridge. I thought I'd share them with you because they are a few of my favorites. Some of them have been borrowed from Lexa Rosean, author of Supermarket Sorceress, who is a master of Kitchen Witchery. Still I think the important thing about a freezer spell is to start with the basics and then make it your own.

I know one natural witch, (a Canadian singer in fact) who knows nothing about freezer spells, yet every time she gets mad at someone, she writes their name on a little piece of paper, twists it up and throws it in the freezer to "make it stop!" I discovered this one day when I was groping through her freezer for some ice cream and a flutter of little pieces of paper fell out to the floor. When I asked her about it, she told me her intuition had told her to put the people "on ice."

The essence of a freezer spell is about time. The idea is to stop something in its tracks. Freezer spells also fall into the category of binding spells, as often their purpose is to paralyze an offender. They are used mainly for protection. Here are a few of my favorites.

The Basic Ice Cube Tray Spell

This is all-purpose. What I like about it is that you can use magickal ingredients to sweeten or sour the mix before you chuck it in the freezer. Basically, you take twelve small pieces of paper and write down the names of twelve people or situations who have not been very nice to you or who have irked you or done you wrong. Think of twelve people who have been hostile to you, or who have a bad attitude towards you or who have behaved as obstacles to what you want in your life or career.

Now stick these twelve pieces of paper in the ice cube tray compartments and add a little sugar, or honey to sweeten up their attitude towards you. You could also add a few other things as well if you wanted - a little dill or parsley powder for improved communication, orange water for joy, or rose water to increase loving vibrations. Then you fill the rest of the tray with water and stick it in the freezer.

I like this spell because it is relatively innocent and is persuading others to think of you kindly and not to harm you. A more vengeful version of this spell would be to add substances like vinegar (to sour their experiences), cigarette ashes (to cause depression), or horseradish (to cause arguments.)

Impotence Spell

If your resentment is directed towards a particular individual, perhaps a male who has dumped you for someone else, you might consider doing this impotence spell. While shopping for the cucumber at your local vegetable store, try and find one that resembles your ex-partner's actual member when it is erect. At the very least this will get you giggling. Then carve his name and his birth-date into the flesh of the cucumber and throw it into the freezer. It will start to go soft and wither after a few weeks, and while this happens, imagine him and the sweet young thing that he betrayed you with having conversations like "I swear this has never happened to me before." "It's ok. I understand." ;)

Break Them Up Spell

The ultimate freezer spell however, in terms of sheer nastiness, is this Break Them Up Freezer Spell, in which you write the offending couple's names on a piece of paper (if you don't know the name of the person coming between you write "unknown rival") You put the pieces of paper in a Tupperware container along with a piece of rotten fish, fill it with water and freeze it.

Fish are symbols of fertility and happiness, so the ultimate purpose of this ritual is to have the two lovers become turned off from each other. One person who tried this spell told me she laughed her head off when her boyfriend came back to her and complained that his new lover had terrible body odor. I haven't tried this one myself, but she says it worked. Lexa Rosean also boasts success with this one.

I can't guarantee these spells work, but if you are too chicken to enact some real revenge (like turn the person into the I.R.S.) these little rituals at least satisfy a desire for "petty revenge".

By: Sam Stevens

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