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How Can I Find a Girlfriend?

man and woman holding each other with rope lights wrapped around them
Dear Starwitch,

Please forgive if I've increased your inbox size. I'm just here asking for your advice. You can get back to me any time you're not busy. I also want to take the time now and say thank you for everything you've done with your site. You have done wonderful things and you've inspired me to take action and learn beyond what this world really is. Thank you.

Now I want to ask your advice for a love spell. I don't want perform a love spell on a certain person as that is wrong and is forcing somebody to love me. I want to do a love spell to attract someone to me that likes me for me and someone that I like and can hold in my hands and take care of. This year, I got heartbroken twice. I decided I don't want to be alone anymore because of my fears of getting rejected or if they already had a boyfriend. The first one got me really broken. The 2nd one not so much. Both of the girls I had fallen deeply in love with. It's hard to get them out of your life and not to think about them. I don't want to have to work out and eat a strict diet to be ripped and diesel to attract someone. I want to work out for fun and for me and my health and for my sport, martial arts. So I'm looking through your list of love spells finding one I can do with minimum supplies. See, I don't want to have to buy things online if I can't find it locally. I would like your advice on this. Whether it be what spells to do or what actions to take. I would really like to have someone I can love and take care of. Thanks for reading and blessed be.
Dear Friend,

Here are two good rituals that you can use to attract a mate:

Perfect Mate Love Spell (a few supplies needed, but you could really do it however you want, even with no supplies. It's the thought/energy that really counts, not the props you use.)

Manufacturing Mr. or Ms. Right (no supplies needed)

Have you bothered to try to make yourself look cool? Some guys have no idea how to look or act cool, and so they unintentionally turn girls off with their dorky looks and behavior. If you've already had two girlfriends then you must be doing something right, but everyone could use some kind of improvement, so you may want to pay attention to the behavior and appearance of the guys who attract a lot of girls and see what it is they're doing that you aren't. Men aren't usually as perceptive as women and they can do some pretty stupid things and not realize they're doing it. But you can be sure that the girls notice it.

Women are typically looking for a man who she thinks is capable of protecting her, caring for her, and making her look good in front of her friends. So wimpy guys and nerdy guys don't qualify. That's why they sit home watching Star Trek and playing video games all the time. (Or maybe they are nerds precisely because they are watching Star Trek and playing videos.) Never, ever imitate a Star Trek character or something weird like that in an attempt to attract a girl. She'll most likely think it's pathetic and embarrassing, depending on how much of a nerd you are.

I guess I'm just assuming you might be a nerd, but if you aren't, please forgive my assumption. If you want more of my insightful dating tips, lol, write me back and tell me more about yourself and I can make a better assessment. The more you tell, the more I can help (including your age and whether you are a nerd, prep, emo, jock, stoner, band geek, etc.)

You sound a little desperate to find a girl, which is a real turnoff for girls. Women want to find a man who's desirable, someone that other people admire. They want a boyfriend that other girls aren't going to put down and tease them about. If you get a girl, you have to make sure you don't come on too strong. If you act jealous all the time and you're possessive of her, that'll usually (I hope) scare girls away and they'll find a guy that knows how to respect her as a human being and treat her like she's her own person, not as if she's merely an extension of you or a possession that you own.

It's kind of hard to give advice when I know nothing about you, but I've known all sorts of guys and I can definitely tell you what kinds of behaviors to avoid in a relationship.

Are you having sex with your girlfriends? You shouldn't treat them as though their main purpose is to fulfill your sexual desires. Girls are human beings, just like men are (I know, it's hard to believe). They have their own opinions, thoughts, desires, and motivations. You need to respect that and allow her to be the person she is. Don't try to change her into your personal girl-slave or sex toy. Don't grab her butt and breasts all the time or pull out your wiener and wag it at her. Don't beg her to have sex with you when she doesn't want to. Imagine if you had a friend who wanted to have sex with you, but you weren't into them. But they kept grabbing your butt and your privates and making sexual innuendos and stupid sex jokes to try to turn you on. Would that work? No. It doesn't work for girls either. You have to be assertive and confident, but not desperate and overbearing, for a woman to think you're sexy.

Valuable Tip: Never act clingy

Clinginess is a unattractive quality that comes from scarcity and jealously. Acting clingy tells a girl that you're desperate, which tells her that you can't get anyone else, which is a clear sign that you're a loser. If you knew that you were a desirable guy, you'd have no need to be clingy. You have to know (or at the very least act like) you're confident and secure with yourself. Don't call her several times a day. Don't try to make her spend every moment with you (or even every day). Don't question her about her activities and whereabouts. It's unbecoming. If you do, she'll start to realize the truth, which is that you're needy and insecure and therefore not worth having. (Nobody wants the guy that everyone else rejects.)

Good luck and blessed be.

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