Personal Success Spell
Get a gold pouch. Are we going to go through this every
time? I know you don't have a gold pouch just laying around, so why are
you saying, "Pouch? What pouch?" This is easy.... Really! Grab a little
rectangle of gold cloth and sew up three sides and Presto! Chango! It
becomes a pouch. Don't have any gold fabric? You can use green. Cool, huh?
Get some marigold petals and a little chunk of cedar. You're getting the
hang of this now, aren't you? I noticed right away that you didn't have
marigolds planted, but you took your trusty pocketknife and cut a chunk
off your cedar suit hanger. Oh, don't worry, I won't tell anyone you're
decimating a twelve dollar hanger for a success spell. You have to spend
money to make money, don't you? Now, don't worry if you don't have the
marigold petals. They're a nice touch, but not necessarily vital.
Get a crisp new one-dollar bill. I like crisp money! I like all money,
even that odd stuff from... oh, forget it. You probably aren't interested
in how I bought my way out of being catapulted into space along with an
azalea bush and a ferret.
Carve a rune on your piece of cedar. You can draw the rune on your cedar
with olive oil, if you have to. It's just more "special" if you carve it
in. Really! Would I lie to you? Of course not, dear heart. Now carve
carefully.... This particular talisman doesn't require blood and we don't
want you hurt! Carve this rune on your chunk of cedar.
Fill your pouch. Put the carved chunk of cedar, the marigold petals
(they're optional -- remember?) The crisp one-dollar bill in the pouch,
Tie the top with a piece of green or gold string. Yes, of course yarn will
Are you ready for the best part? Go outside and hold your pouch up toward
the sun and say,
"I call thee, Sun, to bring your power to me and infuse this Talisman with
success and riches! So Mote It Be!"
Now, lay your pouch where it will absorb the sun's rays and leave it
there for at least an hour.
Sit around on a lawn chair and eat a couple of Moon Pies or sip a double
chocolate malt. Again, this part is optional.... The sitting and sipping,
that is. You have to leave your pouch in the sun, of course. Hum the theme
from Dallas. (Optional) Paint your fingernails with alternating gold and
cerulean stripes. (This, too, is optional.)
Brrrraaaaapppp! Time's up, love, Pick up your success pouch and stick it
in your pocket or purse and keep it with you. As often as you can, hold it
to the sun and visualize your goal of success and money, then return the
pouch to your hiding-spot. Keep at it... keep at it... keep at it...
You did good, darling'! Now all you have to do is focus on your dream for
success and money, all right? All right! Wait... it will come as surely as
the sun makes a tiny little seed grow into a mighty tree