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The Male Rating System

Eternity by Jessica Allain art
"Eternity" by Jessica Allain

Believe it or not, if you go into forums on web sites that are devoted to the subject of how to pick up girls, you will find people posting messages about something that is called the mating rating system. Reading one of these forums is kind of a rude wake up call if you ever thought that men "rated" us on such qualities as humor, intelligence or charm. Instead this rating system, which in a state of constant debate seems to be based on leg length, the size of your lips, how high your cheek bones are and whether or not you have big breasts.

The Male Rating system finds its origins in the movie "10" starring Dudley Moore and Bo Derek. This was a romantic comedy that was made in the seventies that featured the adventures of a neurotic alcoholic who was looking for a woman who he considered to be a perfect Ten on his personal rating scale. He finally finds her in the person of Bo Derek, who is six feet tall, has long blonde hair, full lips, icy blue eyes, legs that go on forever, a tiny waist and a very vacuous smile.

My opinion is that if men are going to rate us, there is no reason why we can't develop our own system to rate men. However because men are more sex oriented and women are more relationship oriented our rating system is going to be a little more sophisticated. It also won't be as racially BIASED as the male rating system, which seems to prefer the Aryan ideal of the Nordic Queen.

To find out how your male rates on our rating system answer the following questions by choosing an option below. Choose only one option. You can add up points as you go along. Be forewarned you will never find another rating system anywhere that is as honest and forthright as this one. It is based on very realistic criteria that could bring your head down out of the clouds and could really make you think twice about who it is you are going out with.

 

What level of education has he completed?

  • Elementary school - 1 point
  • Grade Six - 2 points
  • Grade Nine - 3 points
  • Grade Ten - 4 points
  • Graduated High School - 5 points
  • One Year of University or College - 6 points
  • Two Years of University or College - 7 points
  • Completed College but no degree - 8 points
  • Completed College With Degree - 9 points
  • Post Graduate Degree - 10 points

 

How much money does he make a year?

  • $ 0 to $5,000      -         1 point
  • $5,000 to $15,000  -   2 points
  • $ 15,000 to $25,000 - 3 points
  • $25,000 to $32,000 - 4 points
  • $32,000 to $36,000 - 5 points
  • $36000, to $42,000 - 6 points
  • $42,000 to $50,000 - 7 points
  • $50,000 to $70,000 - 8 points
  • $70,000 to $90.000 - 9 points
  • $ Over $90,000 a yr - 10 points

 

Has he had?

  • One heart attack or more  -1 point
  • Full dentures - 2 points
  • More than five dental crowns - 3 points
  • Smoke a pack of cigarettes a day - 4 points
  • Back problems - 5 points
  • Migraines - 6 points
  • Allergies - 7 points
  • Occasional muscle strains - 8 points
  • No cavities - 9 points
  • No health problems whatsoever - 10 points

 

Has he ever been diagnosed with any of the following?

  • Schizophrenia - 1 point
  • Bipolar - 2 points
  • Paranoia - 3 points
  • Personality Disorder - 4 points
  • Anger Management - 5 points
  • Attention Deficit Disorder - 6 points
  • Obsessive Compulsive - 7 points
  • Depression 8 - points
  • Anxiety - 9 points
  • No disorders - 10 points

 

In the past he has:

  • Been jailed for a felony - 1 point
  • Charged with drunk driving - 2 points
  • Charged with assault - 3 points
  • Been a member of a cult - 4 points
  • Been jailed for a misdemeanor - 5 points
  • A member of a 12-step program - 6 points
  • Declared Bankruptcy - 7 points
  • Attended church once a week - 8 points
  • Participated actively in a charity - 9 points
  • Donated more than $5000 to charity - 10 points

 

Which of the following terms or phrases is he most likely to use to describe his ex?

  • Slut - 1 point
  • Bitch - 2 points
  • Pathetic - 3 points
  • Selfish - 4 points
  • Too Needy or Smothering - 5 points
  • Codependent - 6 points
  • Troubled - 7 points
  • Sad 8 - points
  • A tragedy - 9 points
  • A great person "but it didn't work out" - 10 points

 

Which of the following statements best describes how he spends the majority of his free time?

  • Spending time with his wife or ex - 1 point
  • Drinking with his buddies at the bar - 2 points
  • Sleeping - 3 points
  • Watching sports - 4 points
  • He spends his free time at work - 5 points
  • Spending time with his mother - 6 points
  • Reading - 7 points
  • Participating in sports - 8 points
  • Working on a favorite hobby - 9 points
  • Participating in community events - 10 points

 

Which of the following statements describes him the best? Only pick one:

  • He hates his mother - 1 point
  • He is sullen and moody - 2 points
  • He is a bit lazy - 3 points
  • He is a bit of a dreamer - 4 points
  • He worships women - 5 points
  • He is very hard working - 6 points
  • He treats his mother like a queen - 7 points
  • He loves children and animals - 8 points
  • He loves to dance - 9 points
  • He has a great sense of humor - 10 points

 

Which of the following actors in a movie does he remind you of the most?

  • Al Pacino in Scarface - 1 point
  • Matt Damon in "The Talented Mr. Ripley." - 2 points
  • Mickey Rourke in Nine and a Half Weeks - 3 points
  • Michael Douglas in Fatal Attraction - 4 points
  • Jack Nicholson in "As Good As It Gets." - 5 points
  • Owen Wilson in Zoolander - 6 points
  • Adam Sandler in the "Wedding Singer" - 7 points
  • Tom Hanks in "Castaway" - 8 points
  • Kevin Costner in "Field of Dreams" - 9 points
  • Will Smith in "Independence Day" - 10 points

 

Pick the one action that he has done MOST OFTEN to you:

  • Slapped or hurt you even accidentally - 1 point
  • Humiliated you in public - 2 points
  • Called you a name in private - 3 points
  • Made fun of your career - 4 points
  • Prevented you from going out on your own - 5 points
  • Displayed jealousy over your ex - 6 points
  • Lent you money - 7 points
  • Bought you a box of candy - 8 points
  • Brought you flowers - 9 points
  • Made a meal for you - 10 points

 

Now add up your points. You should get a double-digit figure. Move the decimal point one digit over to the right so that you have a rating out of ten. For instance if your man's rating is 79 then he is not a Perfect 10, he is a 7.9.

My theory that is that if the man's rating is 6.9 or lower then the relationship is not likely to last very long. If it is 5.0 or below, you should drop him and look for your own "Perfect Ten".

By: Sam Stevens
 

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