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Zili's Spiritual Journal

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Zili's Spiritual Journal

Postby Zili » Thu Jul 03, 2014 3:17 pm

It does not matter if it is called a book of shadows, grimore, or journal as long as the writer feels comfortable with the title they have chosen for it.

Entry 1: A conversation with a friend has made me see that I all too often force my way upon the universe, I want a career so I pass up an opportunity to grow my creative writing talents with a masters degree in favor of a job as a substitute teacher that I end up hating and therefore hating myself for having ever chosen that path. I throw myself at the things I want when I can see them even if they weren't meant for me. A part of living a spiritual life is learning to let go and essentially what happens from that is what we define as magick. As new witches one of the first things we learn is to visualize what we want and then we let it go to the universe through meditation, prayer, or spells and the universe/great spirit/divine creator will provide us with an answer; either in the form of what it was we wanted or denying us that but showing us an open door to something better. Humans as a whole tend to buck this "system" and fight against it and end up searching their whole lives for something that fulfills them but never finding satisfaction. The more I ignore my spirituality, faith, and meditations the more I fight against it, the more desperate I become when the solution is to simply hand it over to the powers that be. This works in all religions from what I can tell and is taught but hardly practiced. For example I have two friends that couldn't be more different physically and belief wise: one is young (mid-20's) and christian the other is a woman in her 50's and practices Native American spirituality.

The young woman wanted to be able to reach out and help as many people in need as possible and after praying for an opportunity her twin brother came home from college to tell her about an organization he joined and a mission trip he was going to take to Uruguay. She hadn't been religious and was questioning the beliefs she was raised with when this came about. She took it as a sign from God that she should at least give this organization a chance. She now works as a leader within this group organizing bible studies for the foreign exchange students and mission trips to help the less fortunate (these mission trips she does not use as a typical bible thumper, instead she preaches about loving each other through the worst of times and helps people to forgive others and themselves). This life choice for her means that she does not get a monthly salary and does not know from week to week if she will have enough money to live off of but she gives it over to God to see that she is provided for.

The older woman lives her live on the road traveling from renaissance faire to renaissance faire (she is what's called a full time rennie) after serving in the military and being a military wife she felt after her divorce that she wanted to travel and she had already done some work with a ren faire and learned that there are year 'round rennies that live their lives on the road much like the romantic notion of a gypsy (romani, Irish laborers/tinkers, etc.). She set out on a journey not knowing where it would take her or if she'd be able to live in such a way with her health issues, but travel is something she's wanted her whole life and there was an opportunity right before her. She's done something I've always wanted to do because she let the great spirit decide what was best for her and how she would get it. I fear being alone if I were to travel in such a manner but her family and closest friends in a matter of a couple of years all moved closer to towns that hold these festivals so she is never alone, every stop she goes she's got some one around that keeps her company (and cares for her when she needs it concerning her health issues that is).

After you give your wants to the greater being will you receive your message immediately? Not always, the universe will let things happen as they need to in order to make the best life for you.
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Zili
 
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Re: Zili's Spiritual Journal

Postby Zili » Sun Jul 06, 2014 2:25 am

Entry 2: As stated before entry one what a person chooses to call their book doesn't change what that book is/means/represents, and such goes for most objects but the same does not go for people. There comes a point in their learning that a witch/shaman/etc. chooses their magickal name (some choose, others find, and some are given). I used to believe that this name did not matter and was only used for the purpose of hiding one's "taboo" faith from the public although I had been told that there was more to this I had not experienced it. My view that it's "just another name" has changed. I have not come into my own magickal name as of yet but I did decide a few years ago to stop living my life under the name my parents gave me and raised me with. I had a very common name although the spelling was unusual and so much of my life good and bad had been attatched to that name. My first time living on my own I chose a new name out of hurt and anger but in time that childish move proved to be a great stepping stone into the person I am becoming. I chose my new name from my middle name so that it was still something I had from my parents and it would hold a bit of history from my life under my given name. I didn't know the impact it would have but I have become that name. My name gave me a mask to hide behind until I could face the world, it gave me a sense of being an individual, and above all it felt like the real me.

When we meet a new person one of the first things to happen is an exchange of names. How you say your name and the sound your name creates leaves an impression on people, I chose a name not easily forgotten not because I wanted to appear exotic but that I wanted to be remembered, even if the name itself is forgotten the face is then remembered. So many can forget both faces and names that its best if one or the other stands out.

For example when hearing the name "Rachael" you might think of the tv show host who spells her name the same way or you could be reminded of a childhood friend or an ex girlfriend, but when you hear a name such as "Indy" you'll remember more about this person than you can recall details from any Indiana Jones movie.

I grew up with the name "Bekki/Bekkah" such a name might invoke a sense of a "down to earth" type or "girl next door" or even "bookworm". These are all nice but very basic and don't describe who I am. The name I chose for myself and have used for the last four years is "Anielle" which some have said gives them a feel of "fantasy" "whimsy" "beauty" or "romance" these words are more accurate to me. Move of all I am told my name sounds like that of a poet, artist,writer, or storyteller and that is who I am.

My uncle who is Irish (and a gypsy/tinker) is his family's poet. Nothing about the family's past is ever written down stories are passed down by word of mouth, it is his job to "record" the family history into his memory and add to it as well. He told me that he learns not just the family history but the names. I assumed that was just first and last name of the members of the family, daunting but not impossible. However that's not the case. The Gaelic word for "name" also means "soul" your name is your soul and your soul is your name, this does not mean that you live your life based on the meaning of your name, instead it means that for everything you have done or will do is added to your name because it is who you are.

When it comes to choosing or receiving your magickal name do not brush it off as just a small trivial thing that is only done because of tradition and ritual. Your name is who you are choose wisely and be open to recieving your name from the spirits, have your ears, heart, and mind open to earning your name and the Great Spirit will tell you your true name.
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Re: Zili's Spiritual Journal

Postby Zili » Mon Jul 14, 2014 3:25 am

Entry 3: As I posted in my dream journal topic, before bed last night I pulled a card hoping that it might trigger my mind into remembering a dream. "...I pulled the card 'Wolf' who is a teacher I hope that my subconscious has taken Wolf's teachings to heart because again I don't remember a dream." The Great Spirit has a way of telling us/showing us what it intends for us to see. Instead of being related to my dream it was giving me a glimpse into my future. For the longest time I've wanted to just hit the road and travel, I can feel deep in my soul but I've not been able to due to finances and my inability to leave home for longer than a few days without becoming physically ill. Sometimes that illness comes from other forms of stress. I'm also very attached to my cat who is my therapy cat (not officially registered) and if I were to leave home I must keep him at home instead of with me. Poor guy gets too stressed and it shocks his system. So I've not been away from home any longer than 2 weeks until this recent 1 month stay in which I had thought by the end of the month i would have had a job and could have my cat moved in with me (oh the plans I make all because I ignore signs that the Great Spirit tries to make me see). I have a friend I lightly refer to as my "guru" because he's just that kind of guy; his wisdom and advice know no bounds. This friend is going to be leaving his home (the British Isles) in 1 month to start his travels (Budapest is his first stop followed by Croatia and a few other places after that). A friend who is going to Budapest for her photography said to him "why don't you join me I'll get you plane ticket for Budapest" and he didn't bother letting opportunity finish knocking before he was flying out the door and chasing it down the street. He'll be traveling for 6 months and after that he's going home for 6 more months of working whatever job he can find to save up for his ticket to America! Next year he'll be flying into New York and then riding the greyhound bus down to South East Texas to my place! He has told me I have a year to buy a car and save up for the second part of his America trip in which I will be joining him! My family will be helping him to see the sights in Texas before he and I head to New Mexico, Colorado, Washington (state), and Canada!

As I'm writing this I'm looking at the Wolf card again and notice the attributes: North/East Masculine Water My friend is located northeast of here, across the "pond" and of course is masculine. Here is the card's meaning "I lead the way. I am the knower and teacher of much wisdom. I hold a key to the heart. I am loyalty and love, though many perceive only my aggressive nature. I, the Wolf, mate for life --you can count my staying power in this tumultuous world. I am a fierce and loving protector. My senses are keen and my intellect calculating. I possess instincts beyond the ordinary and I am able to search out what I pursue. I seek and I find. I am alert to the inner wisdom of all my relations. I am your pathfinder. I lead the way. I have slipped into your affairs to become your tutor...to help you survive. If you will listen with the highly developed senses of Wolf, you will be 100 times more sensitive than those around you. Everything around you, the plants, trees, rocks, wind, and weather ...are all your teachers, heed them. Remember to be teachable. my companionship symbolizes the loyalty that is Wolf...I am setting the state for long-term relationships in your life either in your career or your home."

Now before I sleep I'll once again pull a card perhaps it might help with the dreams and perhaps it will just be insight for what comes tomorrow.
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