Everything Under the Moon

Today's society seems to put too much emphasis on happiness and fulfilment. From childhood, we are taught to be happy, positive, not to cry, not to be angry... If we show these emotions, we may even be criticised or ignored.
As we get older, we start to believe that happiness is the only normal and acceptable state to be in.
What are your thoughts about this?

I think it's nice if one can be happy most of the time. But being happy all the time lacks balance. How do we really appreciate the good times if we don't experience the bad or sad times?

Snow

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People who are "happy" all the time totally creep me out, lol. Remind me of wicked clowns --smiling in the public eye all day, but probably kicked their cat that morning, or cursed out their kid, etc.

I guess I tend to believe that if one is authentically engaged in one's life, and all the people and challenging situations it involves, one will express a full gamut of emotions.




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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVM1nUmDHHc

Happy Happy Joy Joy by Ren And Stimpy

This reminds me of the time I spent in England. I absolutely loved it there and I actually admired people's control, cause I have a short wick and get fired up quite quickly. But one morning (I mean 4 am), before the bar opened, I was pushing a cart with soft drinks, milk ... you get it. And one of the managers asked me: "What's wrong?". I was like ... "umm, nothing's wrong, why would you think anything's wrong?" and he said he was worried, because I wasn't smiling. And this absolutely shocked me - I'm pushing a full cart at 4 am, all the people I could possibly meet at this hour are people I work with, why would I smile? And to whom - the cart? Well, I told him in my country people who smile all the time are usually in a special place with soft walls, but I don't think he found it very funny.

So, anyway, we can't always be happy. And even if we appear happy on the outside, it's not always the case. I'm all for showing your emotions and be who you are. I don't believe in smiling all the time. And I agree with Snow - if we were happy all the time, we wouldn't know we are. There's light only when there's dark to compare it to.

I don't fear my sad times for they help me to define and apprechiate my happiness. You can never feel quit so safe unless you have felt fear, warm unless you've been cold. I choose NOT to be boring and limited. I will live my life to the fullest. If people can not adjust to my being real, It's their problem, not mine.

Being positive doesn't mean ignoring the negative, it shouldn't come at that cost. I agree with SnowCat.

Haha Yana, you were cheeky
Yes I was astonished how people smile and are polite in England, too. I felt good there. But on the other hand, my friend spent a year in the US and only at the end of her stay she discovered that certain girl hated her all the time but she acted nice so my friend assumed they were friends but it wasn't true. She felt cheated and betrayed. So I don't know, one would need to spend more time abroad and actually get to know the people and culture to compare. My guess is that people are generally same everywhere. There are just different cultural norms when it is appropriate to show your real mood /thoughts.

I find people who smile too much creepy. This is especially true for some new age/yoga videos where they are forcing it too much! I can't even listen to what they say because their fake smiles drive me crazy. And it's interesting when in my country they use foreign adverts for certain products with photos of people showing their teeth when smiling. I find it threatening and uncomfortable in most cases. (actually if I'm not mistaken showing one's teeth while smiling is a sign of aggression in chimpanzees). The only exception is when their eyes smile, too, but that is usually not the case.

Concerning the original question, I think I will allow myself to show full spectrum of emotions and not suppress everything so much as I did until now. In an appropriate way, of course. I won't actually punch people in the face too often.

Isn't it strange how people are funny about not wanting to get punched in the face. You'd think more people would want to start the day with an adrenaline rush and swollen face.

I think it's regional sometimes. It certainly seems like people are happier and friendlier the further I get from the big city. Though I have met some very grumpy hermits stashed in the far away places.
I know I feel better overall if I keep myself in a positive state of mind, then when I feel happeir life feels more fulfilling.
It's very easy for me to go the other way, being angry and defensive twer a shield I carried everywhere. It left me feeling empty cold and shut off from the world.
The brain is wired for self defense, it's much more challenging to take the high road.
Bb, Firebird

I think and feel that there is a difference between happiness, which is fleeting and changeable due to external influences, and contentment, which is steady and flows with the changing environment.

Happiness is probably a chemical reaction in the brain.

I get happy when I have new toys to play with, but my interest will soon fade with familiarity and the box is more useful. So I always save the box. My cats like to sit in them.

That makes us both happy, and contented.

If I ever find a box to fit (if it fits, it ships) I'll sit in it and experience the thrill first hand. For now, I am content to enjoy the vicarious thrill through the cat in a box.

SpiritTalker wrote:my interest will soon fade with familiarity and the box is more useful. So I always save the box

that gave me a good chuckle. ...I'm right there with ya

Well, being a cat is kinda equivalent to being happy - boxes, bags, backpacks, some food, a human to pet you and there you go, happiness is all yours At least for my cat it is

Do you think cats know they're happy? Or do they sit in those boxes questioning their place in the universe? nah! Cats know they own it. What's to question? They are Masters of Contentment.

Do cats get days off? If they do they can't just lay around the house eat, nap, play, nap, lay around, eat and nap - that's their job.