What to do if somebody does you wrong?

[cherrypie]

Hello,

what do you do with people you do you wrong, constantly, provoke you, try to make you look bad int he eyes of others? I have such a person in my life and as soon as I have to deal with him I could punch him in his face, to be honest. He is a source of constant trouble and I will have to deal with him next year as well. I sometimes feel like I need to take revenge for all he did to me, but of course this is no solution. I don't want to feel that anger! I can drop those thoughts with other people, situations etc. pretty well, but not with him. Should I regard him as a lesson in being patient? Or should I find some little spell that gives him a swollen nose or something like that ? I know, I know, that would be black magic, right? But I not a doormat, as well, and so I wanted to ask what you would do - thank you!

cherry

[Bychan Wulf]

1) Talk to him and explain him how this makes you feel and nicely ask him to stop doing this. Explain him that you are not children any more and such a behaviour is not only inappropriate,but also makes him look like a fool. Also,try to find the reason he is doing this. Don't ask only him,ask common friends,neighbourso or whoever comes in your mind.
Treating the cause is always better than treating the symptoms.
2)Defend your rights. Tell him you are not his doormat and you are not going to accept being treated like that. It is one of your rights to live/do what you like and he has no right to interfering with that
3)Talk to a superior authority,like a principal,director,chief of staff.
4)If you have no other choice,maybe turn to magic,but not that kind that makes his nose get swollen (thinking about it,the image that comes to mind is extremely funny).
Revenge and binding his will attract the wrong kind of Karma and you don’t want to play with that.
5)Leave the place where he does this to you. If it's a job,then he probably wants yours and tries to make you quit. But with no other option left,just give of on that fight. Your sanity and happiness is more important that an ambition

[SpiritTalker]

I had a coworker...oooh! (gritting teeth)! Anyhow, I would visualize a big, blue, banishing pentagram on her forehead whenever in her presence, and it did work. I wore a polished hematite pendant, as it is reflective and protective.

Other suggestions: write/draw a symbol or sigil of the person; use rice paper in vinegar and dissolve them and their influence. Dispose of the sullied vinegar down the toilet...it's more satisfying than the kitchen sink.

[cherrypie]

Thank you both! I guess I will use the toilet - sounds like the best solution. It is no colleague, we are both business owners, he just supplies me with products I need for my products,so it is a up to me to deal with him (BTW: I have told him several times what he is doing to me, last time I really got angry and told him quite a bit of not so friendly things, but it was high time. He had crossed a line andI had to react.).

[Bychan Wulf]

I like the toilet thing too. It really sounds very satisfying watching it details dissolved.

[BlessedbyHecate]

Depends on how much communication you have , for example if you just talk on the phone to order supplies you just have to be patient and ignore him, i find that ingoring people like that really is the best revenge. If you really have to put up with him try banishing his negativity or make him feel his own sting .

[Siona]

When he tries to provoke you, do you engage him? Give him a reaction? If so, you need to work on stopping that. Give one-word, uninteresting answers when you can. If you're not interesting to him, not giving him what he wants, he may eventually give up. (Although he may get worse before he stops, keep it up.)

Other than that, you could work a spell to reflect his crap right back at him. You could also do a spell to bring in a new supplier to the area, or locate someone else who will be a better fit for you. Heck, if someone new can come into the area the nasty person might end up losing a lot of business if they act like this with everyone...

[moonraingirl]

Hello do I understand correctly that he is your supplier which means you are his customer?

It may be a coincidence but I had to deal with a similar person yesterday. She was a new supplier and behaved very rudely and aggressively the second time she visited me. She raised her voice on me because I dared to purchase products from someone else (she didn't have the product the first time she came).
I wanted to buy something else from her, too, which she didn't have. She very aggressively forced me to buy stuff that I would never sell and literally started shaking from anger because I didn't purchase expensive lighters. She told me that my customers will throw the cheap lighters in my face (fun fact :we have been selling cheap lighters for 15 years with no problems and relatively large profit)

After she left, I immediately wrote am email to her manager where I explained all the inappropriate behaviour that I never saw in 3 years since I work here. She came yesterday again and I immediately told her I don't need her services anymore and I calmly (I was proud of my calmness!) told her the reason. She wanted to start arguing with me but I just told her again thank you, I don't need anything from you, good bye.

So my advice is to simply find another supplier. Some of them are simply unbearable (my parents had this kind of dealers before I started to work. Once a man from Marlboro company wanted to physically fight with my father because my mum argued with his rude and aggressive employee. That was in the "wild 90s," a strange mix of capitalism and communist manners). They think you depend on them and they see themselves as your boss. The more you allow them to hurt you, the more rude they get. You have to show him he is not the only one. You are his customer and while you may feel anxious about not having supplies for a short time, I'm sure you will find another dealer who will value you as a customer. Google is your friend.

You can also ask your other suppliers. I was surprised how well various suppliers know each other, even ones from competing and totally unrelated companies. They also know many customers. You can get valuable info from them.

[samikcha]

Why don't you try reading " how to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie and see what you can do and if you can really apply what you have learnt may be it will work wonders if you can apply. I am very short tempered and I would have already punched him but sometimes that is not the best solution is what I have learnt through my many uncountable failures.

love love love:*

[cherrypie]

Thanks for your many ideas! In fact, he is the ONLY one. I got my customers from him when he was looking for somebody who could make scented candles with his perfumes (which is more complicated than it sounds ) because two of his customers had their own perfume line created by him and anted to have the scents in candles as well. But during our first orders things got so chaotic and complicated (he wanted to control everything even if he didn't have a clue what was going on) that I decided that I wanted to work directly with the customers and not via him. It is much better now but he is still unbearable. Just a week ago he sent me two invoices, both of them incorrect (he had to correct the numbers down from almost € 2000,- to € 250,- ) and I got a bit upset again, but not as much as before (I was in a much better position now) and I really have to ignore him as best as I can. My temper is damaging my health and I need to do something about it anyway.

[SpiritTalker]

You could make a candle from his own oils, & charge it so that he would be nice or go away. Then light it whenever you have to deal with him. Or make 2, one for him as a gift. It's his own signature you'd be using from his own oils... Marketed, it could sell as we all know someone like that.

[BlessedbyHecate]

You could also place a piece of amazonite in your shop, or carry it in your pocket, it helps filter negativity greatly. believe me!

[cherrypie]

Marketed, it could sell as we all know someone like that.

The oils are limited, only as much as I need for the wholesale order. I can't stand these scents anyway - they are nice perfumes, quite complex and high-end, but in my nose they are all the same after having worked with them (and there are 4 different fragrances). At least there is this one, single scent component that lingers everywhere, in my workshop, on my clothes, on my skin...makes me want to vomit, really.

[SpiritTalker]

Gag. Well, my marketing comment was not meant to be serious. Those high-end aromas always give me a head ache at department store perfume counters. Since you don't enjoy the supplier or the product, you must have considered discontinuing the merchandise. What's resisting? Can that change?

[cherrypie]

I indeed have closed down my online business for candles supplies (my own scents are still quite lovely to my nose, only one or two I don't like smelling - the problem was more the maintenance of the shop, the constant email communication with customers - sometimes I had customers who ordered for a few bucks and I had to answer mail after mail after mail.... - , some of them even called on sundays. I just didn't want to to this anymore. So it wasn't that much the candles but the business, I guess.) and I only do those wholesale oders (which occur only 2 or 3 times per years, from two customers, but for really decent money which I cannot afford to lose). I suffer 1 or 2 weeks during pouring those candles ( I really suffer: my back aches so much because my spine is not in its best state since a few months, my thyroid swells due to the fragrances, and there IS a lot of resistance against this which doesn't make it easier.) but then I can put myself together again No, really something has to change and the closing of the online shop was an important step. I have decided to finish these orders because we really need the money and I know I wouldn't be happier if I had to sit 8-5 in an office in front of a computer (I have done this before). But I have also begun to work as a translator again, as a freelancer, and I like it a lot. Jobs are still irregular but I'm confident this will get better with time. With this work there is no resistance at all, I don't mind tight deadlines and I know I'm good at what I'm doing. It was high time something changed and it all began that last year, my year of big changes. And I feel more and more at home with my nature, my spirituality, my nature spirits, my new passion...a passion that feels as if finally I found my way home.