Dream help

[silverowl]

So I had a dream a few months back and it's really been bothering me. Usually my dreams are vivid, but this one felt very different.
A little bit of backstory here, although I will try to keep it brief. A former friend and lover is pregnant. At the time I had the dream she was about halfway along, but she's due any day now. She betrayed me terribly and took advantage of me in ways that I'm still recovering from. But in my dream she and I were talking, which in itself is insane because things ended on very bad terms with us. The air of the dream was so heavy and sad, as if she was full of loneliness. But I really couldn't put my finger on it. Does anyone have any tips or suggestions? Contacting her is not an option, nor do I really want to. But the dream keeps crossing my mind and it unsettles me.

Thanks for the insight! I appreciate it greatly.

[bluejay_1919]

Do you feel guilty or bad about things ending so terribly? That and the fact that you know she is pregnant (which can leave a woman in a vulnerable state) could be coming through in your dreams as her being lonely, and sad. Maybe she has felt those emotions...which is not uncommon with pregnancy and all the emotions that come with that and perhaps you tapped into it.

[silverowl]

I personally do not because them ending the way they did was entirely her doing. I've been pregnant for the last 3 years myself and being an empath to boot I wonder if maybe that's all it is, just picking up on things she's feeling. It wouldn't surprise me to be entirely honest because she does not have many friends who have children even though she is almost 10 years my senior. The strength of it and how it effected me when I woke was so strong it left me very shaken.

[bluejay_1919]

Oh well if you're an empath, that says alot. Yes , I imagine you are picking up on emotions. The thing is with dreams, they can be so tricky....you could be picking up on emotions of someone near you, but sense you have been thinking of her, they both mix into your dreams. Us empaths can pull in emotions from those close and far away, so it's really hard to say.

[silverowl]

That's the conclusion I have come to myself unfortunately. It could be my own anxiety about pregnancy in general interfering as well. She's not the maternal type at all, her husband isn't the fatherly type, and even though I've never loathed someone so much something has me worried for her. I woke up just as she was telling me what had her so bothered, and I think it had something to do with her husband, but it was so close to that waking state that I can't remember the little details.

[bluejay_1919]

And you're sure you don't want to check on her? Even if you keep it short and casual and just straight to the point.." hey, you've crossed my mind a few times lately, and I'm just wondering how you are doing?" -kinda thing.

It's totally understandable if you don't want to. Of course, I don't know all the details of your story, but I know with me, when I get a feeling about someone I know, I usually call them, or they call me almost immediately hahaha. It's odd but it always comes down to the person wanting to talk about whatever is ailing them, and apparently I'm the person to vent to. Now, sometimes I think about someone I know that I've cut ties with.. a family member or old friend, that played a negative role in my life that now I've let go. When they pop into my mind with strange feelings that maybe have me worried, sometimes, being an empath, I just have to move on. I know I feel like I should check on them, but a part of me doesn't want to open that door again, to all the negative or hurt that person caused before. Sometimes being an empath, we have to guard ourselves.

[silverowl]

Well she did unblock my husband at random and I made him check on her. I honestly didn't think she unblocked him for any reason other than to creep on his Facebook page, but we're all in IT so I know she knows how to be more discreet than that. But in the event it had been something else after that dream I had I would have felt awful. She said all was fine and that she unblocked him by mistake, which sounds pretty lame to me but at least all is well.

If I could completely shut that door to her I would, but with the amount of mutual friends we have I feel like aside from ending all contact that's the best we can do.

[SpiritTalker]

SilverOwl, you may understandably be simply concerned for how her pregnancy is going, when she delivers and such. Just because a person mis-uses us does not mean we stop caring about the part of the person who attracted us in the first place. It's the behavior and ego we disclaim, not our hopes. Some renewed disappointment may surface from time to time...the part that says "I'm worth more than the way you treated me" gets stronger in stages. How can we still care a rat's ass about that so-and-so...we might not care for the person they became, but for the person they lost.

[silverowl]

This is very true, SpiritTalker. The situation in itself was very complicated. Part of me thinks she just isn't the motherly type and knows it because of how she's spoken about having children, and another part of me thinks perhaps she's worried about her karma because her betrayal of our friendship was while I was grieving the loss of my first. Or just anxious in general, a combination, I really can only speculate. I don't wish her any true ill, but I do hope maybe she'll finally be able to vaguely comprehend what she's done to me.

[Becks]

When we have been so connected to people in our past threads remain. I think this is you picking up on the large life event. Like a strand of a spider web...you feel the vibration.

[bluejay_1919]

When we have been so connected to people in our past threads remain. I think this is you picking up on the large life event. Like a strand of a spider web...you feel the vibration.

Nicely said! I agree

[silverowl]

Oh I do like that explanation very much, Becks!

[PistashioQueen]

The dreams that disturb us most are the ones that have a message we need to acknowledge in our conscious mind.
The betrayal you feel needs to be worked through, to be healed - with or without this friend.
You want your hurt and grief to be acknowledged, to be owned by her. But this may not happen.
And rarely is something so black and white to be the down of one person alone - a combination of emotions and events appear to be involved. A tangled and highly emotionally charged situation. The dream may have been trying to resolve the emotions through this "meeting".

Another thing that may have happened to help heal you is your higher self traveling to meet the friends higher self and trying to make peace in some way.

[silverowl]

This is one angle I haven't thought of. Personally I've reached a point where I feel like I need to heal from the situation. There definitely were a lot of emotions and crazy events involved. I haven't had that dream since, which is unusual because when I have an extremely vivid dream like that I usually have it more than once over the course of a few weeks. So it possibly could have been our higher selves in a meet. I did ask a mutual friend who has been able to remain impartial if she was okay because the dream had me spooked. She doesn't gossip about one to the other, but she did tell me that my former friend has been having a hard time in some ways.