Everything Under the Moon

- - - MESSAGE FROM THE MODERATOR TEAM - - -

Queen of the Dead,

The Moderator Team recognizes that suicide is a very difficult subject for many people. We know that many members on the forum have experienced depression and suicidal ideation; still others have lost loved ones to suicide. We are concerned that your post might encourage those who are thinking of suicide to act on it. It is true that many people have very difficult circumstances which may not always be possible to fix, and that simply blaming or guilt-tripping them for their suicidal thoughts is not always helpful or appropriate and sometimes only makes them feel worse.

However, as the Moderator Team, we have an obligation to try to do what we can to prevent suicide. We are committed to providing a safe and compassionate space, and take proactive steps to support and reach out to people who are considering suicide, and we hope that our community members will do the same.

Xiao Rong wrote:- - - MESSAGE FROM THE MODERATOR TEAM - - -

Queen of the Dead,

The Moderator Team recognizes that suicide is a very difficult subject for many people. We know that many members on the forum have experienced depression and suicidal ideation; still others have lost loved ones to suicide. We are concerned that your post might encourage those who are thinking of suicide to act on it. It is true that many people have very difficult circumstances which may not always be possible to fix, and that simply blaming or guilt-tripping them for their suicidal thoughts is not always helpful or appropriate and sometimes only makes them feel worse.

However, as the Moderator Team, we have an obligation to try to do what we can to prevent suicide. We are committed to providing a safe and compassionate space, and take proactive steps to support and reach out to people who are considering suicide, and we hope that our community members will do the same.

That's fair. I understand.

People's reactions to depression, which is often due to a chemical imbalance in the brain and to which some people are genetically predisposed, are crazy. Would any rational person tell someone with ALS to snap out of it by thinking positive? Or, that their impending death is selfish? Both are diseases. But depression is treated so ugly, with so little understanding, by so many.

Things are sadly not getting any better for me. I keep trying to do things for myself. I even did some art today and I feel like it's not even that good art. My own brother looked at one of my drawing's and said it looks like something a 5 year old would do. This kinda hurt my feelings.... I'm close to isolating myself again. Feel like I'm not even important in this world....

I can't even do my own magic spells, make candles or essential oil. I'm a beginner to all this stuff. There's nothing good about me at all......

All everyone does is make fun of me.

The best thing about you is you haven't quit. So, your drawing is depicting the hurting inner child and looks like the work of that tender child. That's kind of cool. Artists always draw themselves, haven't you heard that before?

I've been in the Craft since 1988...I can't make incense that doesn't smell like a forest fire. My homemade candles ... Less said the better. But today, I hemmed a pair of pants and didn't sew them to my shirt. OMG-I was amazed. All I'm saying is nobody's watching or measuring you, but yourself. Give yourself some slack. And HUG. Right now it just hurts. Hug the hurt. Pull it inside to your Center and let your inner fire consume it. It is then turned into fuel.

EDIT:I'm not saying shut it inside and forget it. Absolutely not. I'm talking about transforming the hurt and disappointments into self-empowerment. When the Inner Fire consumes, it transforms.

You're still here. You're still talking to us. You're still on your journey. I wish I could draw something that looks like if was done by a five year old. That would be an improvement.

Snow

Sending a hug to you mysticfaeirie, I can relate and am going through a rough time too. My self confidence is at an all time low. My husband isn't helping. He gets angry easily and he use to cuss at me when he would get mad. I talked to him about it and the now he's replaced the cussing with belittling me and rude comments meant to take me down a notch. I think preferred the cussing. It hurts so much when the people we love put us down. And, the same people who always put us down, are usually the ones who would flip out if we ever dared speak to them that way. At least that's how my husband is. He told me yesterday my depression is making him miserable. He doesn't see how he's adding to the problem. Hang in there mysticfaeirie, we're gonna get through this. This is my mantra right now and it's helping: I am enough. What I have is enough. What I do is enough and what I say is enough. Repeat. Hope it helps you too!

Rosie

Life is a tough battle. I struggle with manic depression, the suicidal kind, rare manic. But the thing that keeps me going is knowing I have a purpose. My purpose is to love with all my heart in this world, to care for others and treat them as if my family. You have light and sparkle in you, look deep and hard to find it & let it radiate as much as the sun. Think of all your dreams, the new things you will experience and learn, the people who will come in your life to love you... there's always a reason to stay and to breathe, even if you feel worthless. I feel it a lot since I have no job and schooling because of illness. But you know, everything will be alright. Whether you believe in a deity or not, something and someone is watching over you. Whether metaphysical or people like us who are here for you. Online can be a bad place, but from what I know this seems to be full of caring people. Reach out, even to me, and talk. Let your worries and insecurities fade slowly if needed. Part of recovery takes time. It can happen for years or even life, but know, as like in books and such. Pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, this life is rewarding in the end, and the rainbow signifies the joy and peace you'll have. It's curved because there is ups and downs, but it's still worth it. You're worth it. You're a breathing being, full of life and potential, positive energy. Without you, this world becomes a bit darker, because you can be the change the light in our world. Many would miss and grieve dearly, I don't know you but I care. Life is precious, and we only know this life as of now. The world is an ugly, scary place... but the good outshines the bad. Good always wins. Please think of the energy in your thoughts and actions, steer them right if possible. I always tell myself, "this will pass, it will, and I will live. my story isn't over" and it's true, it is temporary. Find joy in yourself, discover your passions, desires, traits in yourself, dreams, goals, loves, spellwork, spirituality, anything. Suicide is permanent. This route will not fix the problem even if feels that way. Depression is an illness, stigmatized, but still a disfunction in the brain. It's not your fault, you're not the problem or one to blame. It just happens. Fight for your life, look for beauty in everything, mostly yourself. Keep yourself high above water, and reach out before considering anything like suicide. You can do this, you'll make it. ~blessings~

can I be honest?

my life is bullcrapola but I carry on that's what a true hero does.

I've been hurt so much my soul is crying everyday.

I don't mean to come off as blunt
but i'm just being god honest here.

I once thought the same way but I carried on I know life is tough but a true hero fights to the end.
I know mother Gaia has a plan for all her children my story isn't over neither is yours.

This doesn't exactly belong to this thread but I don't want to create a separate one.

Please keep me in your thoughts/prayers. I'm starting to work on my post traumatic stress disorder. I'm going through healing process now and my mental state is going through a kind of cleansing. I think the keto diet which I mentioned about a month ago is helping. I have lost a little bit of weight and my brain function has improved. I'm slowly getting more energy and I'm starting to see stuff more clearly. I'm still at the very beginning but I feel like my life is going to improve if I go through this transformation process. I'm glad I found a name for what was burdening me for most of my life. And you know, when you can name something, you gain power over it. At least I would like to believe it's true.

Sending blessings and strength as you heal through the process. I remember our EUTM Forum members daily.

Thank you ST, I really appreciate it. I'm not 100% sure yet but I'm. Seriously thinking of going to therapy. I was able to find a certified therapist who offers online sessions. That would be ideal for me.

Hey, you have me as well.

Can anybody offer any encouraging words horrible day.
My mother keeps wanting to die she tells me all day.
because her pain she has I'm her caregiver And I'm really down.
I want cry because is hurting me very badly I say what good am I?

Then my friend got back her time away from her problems
And snapped at me hard it hurts so bad being empath like knife in the heart
I gave her time to recoup from her trip yesterday.
I emailed her but she apologized to me but, she swore
she would never yell at me I feel so worthless
And feel it's all my fault. I know its not. sigh crying

Sounds, like, you, need, trees!