Everything Under the Moon

Merry meet!
In June, I left my relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years, who had been emotionally & sexually abusing me for the majority of the relationship. I am now in therapy and focusing on healing my deep emotional wounds, the trauma, and the absolute destruction of my first relationship.
I am curious if anyone has an idea for a ritual I can perform. One that is healing, empowering, and self-love based.
Blessed be,
Tyrande

The best ritual I know is some small item shopping. No, I'm not making light of your situation. Im being honest. Most of the time we have to deny ourselves the small self-indulgences. Something as simple as a Wednesday ice-cream cone and the words "I'm worth it" can be the small wedges that break big blockages. Even replacing any old underwear with holes in it can boost & empower us, & I'll never be talked out of the importance of a shower & clean clothes on self-worth.

The concept can be worked into a ritual circle with a ritual wash-up before starting (& space cleansing if indoors), casting circle, welcoming the 4-ways and evoking as usual & emphasis on emotional balance, with blessing requested from our god-form if we follow one; followed by cleansing, consecrating & enchanting a ring, broach or pendant that symbolizes a new beginning, and speaks of self-worth whenever it's worn thereafter. It doesn't have to break the bank but only be desirable & obtained because "I'm worth it". Heirlooms work well too if there are no bad memories linked to it. Close with a thanksgiving ritual meal offering and/or spontaneous heartfelt song or interpretive dance that's made as an expressive offering & speaks to many levels of the psyche.

I can't concentrate long enough for fancy speeches & they wouldn't impress deity anyways. In my own practice I've consecrated a simple ring that is laser printed with a prayer, & you can have something meaningful engraved before doing a rite. The ring didn't cost much but It's been a talisman for me of strength & rebirth. The hunt for the right piece was therapeutic.

Anyhow, you can sit down with pen & paper & write out variations until you have something that inspires you & fits your supplies on hand. Consider what incense will compliment your rite; what scents might be included in the ritual wash-up(hyssop is popular); what anointing oil will be used for your self-blessing? what will you be comfortable wearing? How about a bouquet of flowers?Gather all these necessities together along with any practical altar decor, salt, water & candles & matches. What will be on the menu? Does it need to be portable & what table wear have you got? Wine or fruit juice? When will you do a ritual? What time of day or night works best for your comfort? Do you want to observe the moon as part of the rite? Check a calendar. Which phase suits you? Pick a 3-day window to allow for weather if you'll be outdoors. It shouldn't be stressful if you plan it.

If you need help on how to set these up & how to cast circle, see my post called "getting started" in the WC & Wicca 101 section. If you need more help, just ask. Of course you'll want to use your own words. Work on writing it out step by step until you can imagine yourself doing the various parts. Imagining the rite as you are planning it out is a big part of the power of a ritual as important as this.

You can thank your chosen deity throughout the day for giving you the strength you need. Sometimes those few seconds of centering and grounding are the difference in a good day or a bad xay.

Intend new life. The relationship would have been beneficial.. i'm not trying to be mean i'm saying now that you are out of it all the wounds become gifts... with the right attitude to self of course.

A ray of light...

If you have an opportunity to join a domestic violence group there is a great amount of healing done in those rooms. Others can be great support sharing the similarities in the traumatic journey. I'm sorry this has happened, do be extra good to yourself...like a spa day, dinner out, quite reading, or shopping is great (Spirit, spot on!) because you deserve something nice for yourself. I'll send you energy from our rite Friday, if that's ok.
Blessed be, Firebird

Ty,

I've no ritual. I think the advice you have been given is mostly spot on. Gifts? I'm not sold on the idea - to happen yet. That is best in it's own good time. I can offer an understanding ear. I've been finally being treated for my PTSD the last 21/2 yrs.
I've only had two flash backs the last year and a half. One was funny, after I stopped shaking. The other was no mystery - I was in an ER at the local trauma center. Big auto pile-up on a nearby expressway. It was a mess reminiscent of a battlefield. Helicopters flying in and out. No mystery.
If you'd like to talk to someone who's working on their PTSD drop a post in the Planewalker's Medicine Wheel - Contact under Types of Witchcraft - Shamamism.

Planewalker

Noted. My Bad. Will watch P's & Q's more carefully. Thanks FBF. PW