Everything Under the Moon

Does anyone know how to deal with this fear?

It acts up when I try something new that may look silly, odd, strange or downright weird.

Or when someone suggests such things

It's driving me insane.
It gets to the point I tend to act like a bully to that person if a friend of mine walks by so I can keep my *image.*
It's like a tiny voice in my head slinging insults at me.

Take a deep breath. Contrary to popular opinion, no one has ever died of embarrassment. It sounds like it happens when you step out of your comfort zone. Stepping out of your comfort zone means that you're growing as a person. It's okay to project a different image sometimes. Let yourself be silly or crazy. Let people see that side of you. They might like it.

Snow

hmm yeah I was always told by my great grandma that letting people see me do silly things was bad.

I act like i'm a living ytp (youtube poop)

I don't mind acting silly it's doing mystical stuff like meditating I felt so ashamed when my best mate caught me in the act,
so ashamed even though he didn't laugh I felt like I just wanted to vanish.
He actualy joined in by balancing on one leg while meditating.
I was gonna do a blessing at the old house, but am so afraid of being embarrassed I feel like crawling into a hole ya know??
I wish I was this guy.
https://static.comicvine.com/uploads/sc ... int-of.jpg
Then I wouldn't be so scared now don't get the wrong idea I love the craft, I do, but its my pride that's getting in my way.

Be proud of your path. You were chosen to walk it.

Snow

I am proud of my path as a healer, Gaia called me to it, I will heed her call.

I think everyone has had a bit of embarrassment in their life, it's a normal human thing. .
I remember my first couple circles in the backyard...I was terrified someone would see me and either wonder what I was doing ...interrupt me or confront me as a devil worshiper or even secretly they wouldn't speak to me anymore because of what they saw. Or I feared I was doing it all wrong and the Gods and Goddesses would be angry and not show up or listen to me. So believe me you are not alone.
I wonder if your friend would be interested in doing a regular meditation practice with you? Overcoming fear can be challenging, if your friend will meditate with you that would be a great step.
I would advise against lashing out in a bullying manner, that is because you have fear...hurt or scared people use anger to cover up those 2 emotions, they're normal emotions, it would appear as though anger is a stronger more acceptable emotion to cover up pain or fear, but in the long run it will hurt you and alienate others around you. It's ok to be afraid, fear can be a gift too in certain situations. So can anger. Though I sense you are serching for the gentle gooddness the practice of the craft can bring.
I suggest a shapeshifting exercise. Take the image of the character you posted and see yourself becoming him, feel the armor and the wild hair doo and all the strong attributes that you see in this character and really feel that you are in his skin feel yourself becoming him and then do some affirmations to yourself, like I am strong I am powerful I can do whatever I put my mind to. Then do these visualization as frequently as you can. You should feel somewhat better as time goes on. Also practice this kind of positive affirmations in a mirror....such as, "I am an amazing being, perfect just as I am. I love and accept myself, just as I am" I've been listening to Depak Chopra on Heart Meditations on the Pandora...it's mostly soothing music, but every now and then he breaks in with a meditation, I try to stop all I'm doing and take a moment to breath, and listen.
Bb, Firebird

Huh. I'll try that.

I would add...
Doing a good grounding after the shape shift imagery.

Thanks for reminding me.

its back *hides in box*

Oh bummer. Take heart, this is a process we train the brain to do what we would like
I wish I could draw out how progress looks like. Don't think of it in a linear way with point A being the low spot and point B being the high spot. No... it's more like a series of spirals starting at low Point going up and around and sometimes there's a loop down and then there's a new ups and then a downturn and this procedure goes on and on is but each time we make progress and eventually we'll get to point B... but it will take practice and patience.
You're doing great, keep up the work

well this time it came back due to stress that's been building up for a couple of days

nightshroud wrote:It's like a tiny voice in my head slinging insults at me.

yea that little sucker can be a royal pain in the arse. When it speaks up say, no...you're wrong, I'm perfectly fine the way I am. And repeat that a few times in your head.

By the way...if I may be so bold, can you put your finger on what exactly you fear will happen to you?

Blessings, Firebird

well i'm afraid my friend who for privacys sake i'm calling the inspector will laugh his butt off as soon as he sees me doing anything witchy you know ( now I love being a healer I really truly do)

If the inspector laughs, calm ask him why he's laughing. That may shut him down immediately.

Snow