Everything Under the Moon

I don't care about anything anymore. Nothing excites me. Nothing makes me happy. Nothing makes me anything. No one loves me. What would honestly happen if I just end it

You're not the least bit curious as to what your future holds?

Not anymore.. It's just too hard to get up everyday. Nobody loves me

Gentlelamb, there were many folks who reached out to you here,
http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum ... 33766.html
Consider there was lots of love there, yet you didn't respond. Xiao posted an important phone number in that thread, which is a lifeline. Call them for support, and remember suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
You must have a grandparent, sibling, aunt, uncle, cousin, or parent...tell one of them you are contemplating suicide, then get to a doctor, being a teenager can be the hardest time of your life.
Magic can support you, put it to work.
Bb, Firebird

From what I hear you would have to come back in another life and repeat the same life lesson. There is no sense in starting again from the beginning. Maybe your lesson is learning to open yourself up to love, or loving yourself, or learning to find excitement and happiness in little things. There is ALWAYS a solution though. Always! And love is all around you. I'm sorry that your feeling this way and I hope you find the strength to make the changes you need to be happy. Sometimes baby steps help. Even if it's just getting some sun or fresh air. The smallest change could start a chain reaction for you that can lead to awesome things. It's worth a shot! All you have to do is try something other then what you are doing now.

I'm sorry you 're so unhappy so often. I keep hoping for the sun to peek through the clouds you choose to shroud yourself with. Apply your gift of gentleness to yourself and make a tiny little decision to act with a happy purpose. You won't feel it until you really act it. It's bass-ackwards, but that's how it works in the real world. I want you to win.

Edit-just FYI, I've survived clinical depression for many years. It stinks to think there is nothing left. But that's the depression talking. It lies.

gentlelamb wrote:I don't care about anything anymore. Nothing excites me. Nothing makes me happy. Nothing makes me anything. No one loves me. What would honestly happen if I just end it

If you try to end it, and are not successful, you risk permanent disability. An unsuccessful attempt could leave you with permanent mental and/or physical problems. It would also, most likely, get you an extended stay in some type of inpatient mental health program. People in such programs have very little control over their day to day activities. No phone, no tv, no reading materials, no internet. Just something to think about.

Snow

I agree with all that has been said. Another thing to consider is that our bodies are made up of elements that are reacting chemically with each other constantly. Sometimes our bodies are in balance and everything is functioning smoothly and other times there are chemical imbalances. I have been amazed at how this has happened in my own body over the years especially where hormones are concerned. Depression signals a chemical imbalance in the body. I don't mean to sound cold and unfeeling and make it sound like your problems aren't real. We all have problems that are very real, but being in a balanced state physically means being able to handle your problems mentally as well. Please seek some sort of medical help to bring balance back to your life. In addition to mainstream medicine there are acupuncture and other forms of holistic medicine.
One last thing, and you can believe as you choose about this, but I do mediumship readings and have communicated with many people who have passed on. The people that have come through to me who died as a result of suicide have always regretted ending their own lives. And they regret it as soon as they cross over. Mainly they see the affect their death has had on others and had no idea this would happen.
It's time to dig deep, Gentlelamb, and pull yourself over this hurdle. There are many there to help you, but you must take the first step. It's so worth it!
Brightest of Blessings,
Sarina

Please, PLEASE consider reaching out to a professional. I know that going to counseling seems to be my solution for many things, but with an open mind and heart it WILL work. As stated before, this is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I'm ok now guys. My depression is just getting to an all time high

I get fighting with depression. I've been through some rough things and had to spend some time working with mental health professionals because of it. One of the things my favorite counselor told me was "if you cannot find a reason to live for yourself, try to find a reason to live for another."
For me, it was hanging around for my mom.. she needed me around

gentlelamb wrote:I'm ok now guys. My depression is just getting to an all time high

Gentlelamb, I experience bipolar depression. I'm expecting another bout soon. I know the seasons play a part. It's hard. Part of what helps me is recognizing that as agonizing and bleak and eternal it feels, is remembering how many times I've been through this before and how it'll always go away and I'll see the light again. Don't doubt the experiences you've had, the guides and mentors the gods that talk to you, that make you feel loved and special. They care for you and everyone has a different system. Trust your heart. They are with you for a reason. If you have a family that cares for you hold tight to them as well. Find a therapist that you can afford but will also respect you and that you respect. I'm going to one and am broke but they are sliding scale so it's free. you might find that there's a 3 month waiting list or so, but make the appointment and keep it, even if you feel better. They can be placemarkers in your experience that you return to and will give you a sense of structure in the haze.

7cups has a website where you can chat with people like you, even your age, that have depression and anxiety, etc. They're a great resource when you're alone and have one on one chat with listeners. They also have exercises for meditation and affirmations. It's great to feel like you're not alone and have someone just listen. Use that.

I love you even though you're a stranger because I see some of myself in you. You're not alone.

Also I distract myself from my depression with comedy. Stand up, cartoons, comics, flight of the concords, Mitch hedburg, John mulaney, Lewis black, Louis ck etc