Job is making me depressed & family not taking it seriously
Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2016 5:47 pm
I need help. Generally, I am a pretty happy, or at least content person. I can really only remember going through a little bout of depression during my college years, but eventually I got over it by striving forward and graduating and getting a good job. I did my job for 2 years when the school
I work for transferred me to a different school into a new position I'm not actually qualified to do. The new position came with new administration, and the person I'm replacing had 30 years of experience in his field before coming to the school and teaching about it for 8. He was very very good at his job.
Myself on the other hand, I have no idea what I'm doing. My administration has the attitude of: we don't know how to do it either, and we don't care how it gets done, it just better get done. This leaves me working about 50-60 hour work weeks and struggling to find time for myself and my family. My department head is no help either. She's snarky and independent herself and gives me the impression she doesn't respect me because I'm struggling. She gives me the impression she feels as though if I knew I didn't know how to do the job, then I shouldn't have accepted the position.
There was no way I could turn down the position unless I wanted to loose my job all together. I have to have my job because I have a car payment and a mortgage to pay off (both were taken out when I was at my previous position that I loved) I also have student loans to pay off that I had to have to get my job in the first place.
My husband, he is very supportive, but he's tired of hearing me complain. I get that, I mean I know I complain a lot but that's because of the stress and feeling low self esteem because I'm not very good at my job, I'm not trained to do this. I'm learning as I go but that's not always easy. He also says that because of what I get paid, I really shouldn't complain. I do get paid good, but I work freaking hard for it. I've been trying to talk to my mother about lately since it's starting to bum out hubby, but she's getting bummed out too.
The absolute worst is when I get comments like the following: "it can't be that bad."
Ummm... Yes it can. I won't bum you all out with all the details, but it is that bad to me.
"It will get better" This, while probably true, doesn't help me feel better because it's like saying "it really doesn't matter how you feel because you may feel differently in a year from now".
"You're learning a lot I bet" - yes, but this isn't something I want to learn. I never wanted this job. I never asked for it, I was put there and had no choice.
"Start looking for another job" - I would love to get a different job, and I look for things all the time I'm qualified for but they don't pay what mine does and if I take a pay cut I can't afford my mortgage.
This has all been going on since Aug. when school started. What my family doesn't see is all the times I cry on the way home from work because of the stress. They don't realize how much I keep from them because I know it bums them out. Today was particularly difficult as we had a huge event contest my students had to compete in and it was very stressful because I feel I'm not a good enough teacher of this subject to train them well enough to do good in the competition. Plus being new, I had no idea what to expect. While mom was sympathetic today, my husband was not. His comment was "what do you want me to say?"
It just hurts because I'm completely trapped in this position that makes me absolutely miserable and I see no way out. He feels that since there is nothing I can do to change the situation, that I really don't need to be complaining because it doesn't change anything. Almost as if I'm being immature about it. As I stated before, and I feel he should know, I'm typically pretty content. I don't usually let things get me down. But, this situation is just so ever present. 50+ hours a week I live it. I know that eventually it's going to depress me. It's already starting too.
Typically, I talk about things to cope with them. But, no one wants to hear it anymore. I need some better coping mechanisms that help me and don't involve others. In the past I've coped with major stress with alcohol but I don't really want that to become my coping for this because I'm at work all the time, which means I would be drinking all the time. I wish I could just suck it up and be content, and I'm trying. But, I'm not happy. The stress and the amount of hours, on top of the stress of trying to teach myself something new every night and turn around and teach it to teenagers the next day is making me completely miserable, I just can't get over this one. Not to mention the countless hours I spend at the store purchasing supplies.
I don't know if anyone has any good suggestions about how to cope with this, but thanks for letting me get it off my chest. I feel like there is no one left to talk to about my feelings, and I don't want to just target some other family member who eventually will get fed up too.
Rosie
Rosie
I work for transferred me to a different school into a new position I'm not actually qualified to do. The new position came with new administration, and the person I'm replacing had 30 years of experience in his field before coming to the school and teaching about it for 8. He was very very good at his job.
Myself on the other hand, I have no idea what I'm doing. My administration has the attitude of: we don't know how to do it either, and we don't care how it gets done, it just better get done. This leaves me working about 50-60 hour work weeks and struggling to find time for myself and my family. My department head is no help either. She's snarky and independent herself and gives me the impression she doesn't respect me because I'm struggling. She gives me the impression she feels as though if I knew I didn't know how to do the job, then I shouldn't have accepted the position.
There was no way I could turn down the position unless I wanted to loose my job all together. I have to have my job because I have a car payment and a mortgage to pay off (both were taken out when I was at my previous position that I loved) I also have student loans to pay off that I had to have to get my job in the first place.
My husband, he is very supportive, but he's tired of hearing me complain. I get that, I mean I know I complain a lot but that's because of the stress and feeling low self esteem because I'm not very good at my job, I'm not trained to do this. I'm learning as I go but that's not always easy. He also says that because of what I get paid, I really shouldn't complain. I do get paid good, but I work freaking hard for it. I've been trying to talk to my mother about lately since it's starting to bum out hubby, but she's getting bummed out too.
The absolute worst is when I get comments like the following: "it can't be that bad."
Ummm... Yes it can. I won't bum you all out with all the details, but it is that bad to me.
"It will get better" This, while probably true, doesn't help me feel better because it's like saying "it really doesn't matter how you feel because you may feel differently in a year from now".
"You're learning a lot I bet" - yes, but this isn't something I want to learn. I never wanted this job. I never asked for it, I was put there and had no choice.
"Start looking for another job" - I would love to get a different job, and I look for things all the time I'm qualified for but they don't pay what mine does and if I take a pay cut I can't afford my mortgage.
This has all been going on since Aug. when school started. What my family doesn't see is all the times I cry on the way home from work because of the stress. They don't realize how much I keep from them because I know it bums them out. Today was particularly difficult as we had a huge event contest my students had to compete in and it was very stressful because I feel I'm not a good enough teacher of this subject to train them well enough to do good in the competition. Plus being new, I had no idea what to expect. While mom was sympathetic today, my husband was not. His comment was "what do you want me to say?"
It just hurts because I'm completely trapped in this position that makes me absolutely miserable and I see no way out. He feels that since there is nothing I can do to change the situation, that I really don't need to be complaining because it doesn't change anything. Almost as if I'm being immature about it. As I stated before, and I feel he should know, I'm typically pretty content. I don't usually let things get me down. But, this situation is just so ever present. 50+ hours a week I live it. I know that eventually it's going to depress me. It's already starting too.
Typically, I talk about things to cope with them. But, no one wants to hear it anymore. I need some better coping mechanisms that help me and don't involve others. In the past I've coped with major stress with alcohol but I don't really want that to become my coping for this because I'm at work all the time, which means I would be drinking all the time. I wish I could just suck it up and be content, and I'm trying. But, I'm not happy. The stress and the amount of hours, on top of the stress of trying to teach myself something new every night and turn around and teach it to teenagers the next day is making me completely miserable, I just can't get over this one. Not to mention the countless hours I spend at the store purchasing supplies.
I don't know if anyone has any good suggestions about how to cope with this, but thanks for letting me get it off my chest. I feel like there is no one left to talk to about my feelings, and I don't want to just target some other family member who eventually will get fed up too.
Rosie
Rosie