Everything Under the Moon

I have bipolar depression. Years of therapists, suicide attempts, groups, anorexia etc. I am tired of it. I have come along way but on meds and seeing a psychiatry and therapist. I don't want it anymore all the stigma too. Anyway, I took myself off my pills in Nov. The first couple days were ok then I would have melt downs over little things. I started taking Holy Basil tea . Sometimes it works. Carrying around stones for grounding, self love and clarity. Didn't work. St. Johns Wart but only been 3 days now at 3 xs a day so not yet working and daily affirmations working ok. The reason why I don't want meds and all that is because the whole doctor and pharmacy that basically have everyone on pills. The whole feeling chained to it. All about money.Butility, carrying around stones and all is that all in your head? I even did a candle spell to banish all my negative qualities how do I know when or if that will work? Why don't some spells work? I feel like I am on a dollar coaster. One minute sad then angry then laughing . Uggg driving me nuts. I mean am I feeling like this because I am transmitting to something positive? Or is it weather? Or even some planetary alignment? Holidays? Am I just over analyzing this? I just don't want to get back on my meds. Blessings.

Ravenstar, most people who have bipolar disorder, the medical term for Bible polar depression, require medication to correct a chemical imbalance in the brain and stabilize their moods. I can't think of any instance where taking one's self off prescribed psychotropic medications abruptly is a good idea. It's true that mental illness still carries a stigma. That's unfortunate, but much of the stigma comes from the behaviors exhibited by those with severe untreated mental illness. Epilepsy used to carry a stigma too. Education has helped to remedy that, as have proper medications and treatments. I urge you to see your doctor and get back to a therapeutic level of medication.

Snow

I agree with Snowcat. I know what it feels like to be tied to medication. I'm on medication for life (hypothyroid). Granted it's not psychotropic and I additionally do herbal supplements to improve my condition, previously I was on cancer medication as well... not fun. Taking yourself off medication can do more harm than good, many medications need to be weened off of due to the side effects and physical damage they can do when abruptly stopped. Consulting your physicians would be the best course of action and asking about and supplements that can be added. Sometimes just a lifestyle change, better diet, working out and giving ones self new goals can greatly improve mental status. It's the little things and small steps with positive mindset that can do wonders, with of course the proper medical advisement

I think a good strategy toward better health is to frequently communicate with your medical professionals. They can't be with you all the time, so you'll have to keep them apprised of how you are doing. Tell them if medications work or don't work. Feel a strange side effect? Let them know. Don't feel any side effects? Let them know. Often, you'll have to go trough a period of trial and error in order to get the right medications at the right dosages.
I suggest keeping a journal. Keep track of all of your moods, good and bad. Then track things like the weather, planetary alignment, even what you eat, if you think it will help. You might find certain patterns emerging. You don't have to show your journal to anyone, unless you're comfortable doing so.
Go ahead and talk to your medical professionals about other things that could aggravate your symptoms like the weather and holidays. The holidays cause stress for many people, and this is the time of year that often people can experience Seasonal affective disorder.
Please ask your medical professionals to help you create a plan for better health that includes proper medical attention and lifestyle improvements.

Ok. So this is just getting too much for me to handle. I can't afford waiting a month or so just to see if the st. Johns wart or the affirmations will work. I have a 2 yr. Old son. So I decided for his sake I will get back on my meds. I just don't want to feel weak... like I couldn't do it on my own. So, I will just shift my thinking to my son. I'm doing it for him. Thank you everyone. Blessings.

If you were an insulin dependent diabetic would you skip your insulin? Using necessary medication properly doesn't mean you weak. It means you're strong enough to recognize that you need it.

Snow

I am glad you have decided to go back on your medication. There are those who are able to function off of it and then there are those who still need it to help level out your body chemistry. There is nothing wrong with being on medication and it took me a long time to realize this as well. I don't need to take anything anymore, however, as I have been cleared by my psychiatrist as being alright off of them but he kept careful and close watch over me while I adjusted to it. If you are ever going to do something like this, you need a medical professional to assist you.

It sounds like you really do need them as an extra help, and I am glad you've recognized this. Especially for the sake of your child. (: As Snow said, if you were diabetic you wouldn't skip your insulin. It is very similar and doesn't mean there's anything bad about it. I think being on medication is just the opposite of weak, it shows you are strong because you recognized that you needed help and you went to ask for it despite the stigma you mention surrounding it.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that you are feeling better soon!

Hi Ravenstar, I'm bipolar as well and I've made the medication journey for 2 years now. I know my medication only brings me 70% of the way there, but the longer in on it, the more stable days I have. I know the side effects really kick you to the curb, but those go away the longer you are on it. I was really doubting the meds my first few weeks, but then I started having some real breakthroughs. I just want to let you know that the meds will start to work with you the more you stick with them. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you for your input Phoenix. The rest of us can make recommendations, but without actually going through the condition, we're on the outside, looking in.

Snow

I'm manic depressive as well. Reading your post felt like I was reading a biography on my life, I totally get it. I recently agreed to go back to my medication, and though I hated it at first, I feel like I'm a peace with it now.
We are not weak for taking medication, we are wise to know that our body is chemically imbalanced and need some sort of outside help to even things out. You should be proud of yourself for making this decision

Thank you. Right now my mood is good and I feel more balanced.