Everything Under the Moon

I don't really know why I am doing this I have never told anybody this. I have been depressed since I was 7 I know it sounds hard to believe but it's true. I was raped by a uncle of mine from 6 to 8 years old then I had someone I considered a friend at the time (he was about 13) when he raped me from 8-14. As I already stated I have never told anybody this. My depression makes it so I don't want to tell anybody what happened, I still feel as though it was my fault, as though I should have know better. I got help at 15 for my depression but I'm supposed to be taking medication, but I feel as though I deserve to be unhappy so I do not take my medication like I'm supposed to. I also used to self-harm to take the pain away. I have also tried on many different occasions to attempt suicide. I don't have any friends to talk to, My family would rather pretend that nothing is wrong. I feel as though I am on rock bottom with no way up. I feel nothing I do will help, I feel stuck.

Wow ... I am so sorry that happened to you, Found. That's really terrible, and I can't even imagine what you're going through. Rape is never your fault; what they did to you was just all sorts of wrong. Although I can't comment on whether or not you should take your medication (that's definitely your choice), I can say that you do NOT deserve to be unhappy. If you need someone to talk to, just shoot me a PM ... I am sending love and light your way.

I understand the stuck feeling...