On a roller coaster- and I wish I were off!
Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 4:59 am
I just need to vent and get this out there. I think.
At 16, I was hospitalized for suicidal behavior, and they sent me to the inpatient ward at the Children's hospital.
I was there for a week.
Having a 16 year old, suicidal, former anorexic rooming with a twelve year old anorexic is a terrible idea, in case you're curious. I just got jealous of her, ridiculous as it is.
Cocktail after cocktail of pills later, nothing worked. I spent over a year completely off all meds, and it was actually better than with the antidepressants most of the time. So they sent me to a psychiatrist who knew what she was doing, and the had the sense to test me for more than your basic seratonin imbalance depression.
I'm bipolar, not depressed. My boyfriend is amazingly supportive, and so is my mom, but my dad and his family keep telling me to get over myself. One grandma actually told me to stop being a hypochondriac and insisted it was a misdiagnosis- again.
But I'm a rapid cycler, which means it's fast swings, and they're nearly unpredictable.
Loss of control was always terrifying of me (it's why I was anorexic in the first place) and I'm fighting going back to it with every fiber of my being.
This is not at all fun.
At 16, I was hospitalized for suicidal behavior, and they sent me to the inpatient ward at the Children's hospital.
I was there for a week.
Having a 16 year old, suicidal, former anorexic rooming with a twelve year old anorexic is a terrible idea, in case you're curious. I just got jealous of her, ridiculous as it is.
Cocktail after cocktail of pills later, nothing worked. I spent over a year completely off all meds, and it was actually better than with the antidepressants most of the time. So they sent me to a psychiatrist who knew what she was doing, and the had the sense to test me for more than your basic seratonin imbalance depression.
I'm bipolar, not depressed. My boyfriend is amazingly supportive, and so is my mom, but my dad and his family keep telling me to get over myself. One grandma actually told me to stop being a hypochondriac and insisted it was a misdiagnosis- again.
But I'm a rapid cycler, which means it's fast swings, and they're nearly unpredictable.
Loss of control was always terrifying of me (it's why I was anorexic in the first place) and I'm fighting going back to it with every fiber of my being.
This is not at all fun.