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My depression is driving me back towards suicide again...

Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:08 am
by HippieWitch
The smallest things set me off, I get so pissed its not funny. Then I get severely depressed and cry for hours. That's all it used to be and tonight, when my partner is working, I get to the point of wondering if suicide would be right now. I just don't know what to do anymore. I need help but my insurance only covers the same crappiest Dr's around who don't care about their patients. I just can't handle anything anymore.

Re: My depression is driving me back towards suicide again..

Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:16 am
by Zili
Could you talk to the hospital about medications or therapists in neighboring towns that would take the insurance? Is there a local college nearby sometimes they have masters students finishing up course work by being interns active in the field and its typically free or costs very little. Until you're able to find a better solution or help try wearing a sodalite stone, sodalite calms the mind and emotions as well as drives off depression.

Re: My depression is driving me back towards suicide again..

Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 11:47 am
by HippieWitch
My wife made it home not long after posting this. She helped calm me down so I'm ok for now. I really can't wait till I get to Idaho for better health care.

Re: My depression is driving me back towards suicide again..

Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:50 pm
by Xiao Rong
I'm glad you're feeling better now. Regardless, we love you and care about you, and remember that the suicidal thoughts are temporary, and they can be changed. Things will get better soon!

Re: My depression is driving me back towards suicide again..

Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 1:09 pm
by HippieWitch
Thank you. This was the first time I've been suicidal in a couple years. It's normally just cutting, which I'm careful about so I don't go too deep to really hurt myself. I just kinda skipped that stage last night. To be honest, what stopped me was your post. It showed me someone cared. Thank you. ~hugs~

Re: My depression is driving me back towards suicide again..

Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:53 pm
by Zili
Of course we care, we may be complete strangers but almost if not all of us have hit that point before, this isn't just a community its family (((Hugs))) Hope you're still feeling better.

Re: My depression is driving me back towards suicide again..

Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 3:19 pm
by HippieWitch
Zili wrote:Of course we care, we may be complete strangers but almost if not all of us have hit that point before, this isn't just a community its family (((Hugs))) Hope you're still feeling better.
You don't even know how good that makes me feel right now. I'm not in a good place for my emotional help so I may be back for help again. But know this place is like a family gives me some hope things can be ok. :)

Re: My depression is driving me back towards suicide again..

Posted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:06 pm
by Zili
things can always be ok :)

Re: My depression is driving me back towards suicide again..

Posted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 1:49 am
by The Judge
We'll be here for you if you need us. :) I just want to link over to this in the case where you need to really talk to someone and can't wait for us. This is the hotline numbers: http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum ... t8810.html

I'll try to be on frequently if you want to talk, but it'll mostly be late night; around 2200 hours CST Z-6 hrs. Have a blessed night and know there is always someone there when you need them the most. :)

Re: My depression is driving me back towards suicide again..

Posted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 3:51 am
by HippieWitch
The Judge wrote:We'll be here for you if you need us. :) I just want to link over to this in the case where you need to really talk to someone and can't wait for us. This is the hotline numbers: http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum ... t8810.html

I'll try to be on frequently if you want to talk, but it'll mostly be late night; around 2200 hours CST Z-6 hrs. Have a blessed night and know there is always someone there when you need them the most. :)
Thank you so much. This forum doesn't feel like just a forum. It has the feeling of family. Not what I expected but I'm very grateful to be a part of this.

Honestly, just the amount of attention my post got has helped me more than you all know. I'm still fighting the urge to end things or cut again, but the urges are lessening with the support her and from my wife. Thank you all.

Re: My depression is driving me back towards suicide again..

Posted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 5:05 pm
by valerian moon
HippieWitch wrote:I need help but my insurance only covers the same crappiest Dr's around who don't care about their patients.
my insurance (medicare, unfortunately, but things are looking up) pays for manatee glens.
I was raped at manatee glens.
and put in isolation by the doctor for four days as a punishment for needing more help and coming back in the same month I had left the previous time.
did I mention I was raped?
so my mother (she didn't know I was raped, but she just knew the glens wasn't a good place for therapy because of the utter INCOMPETENCY of the staff there) found a place in Sarasota.
45 minutes to an hour away.
the wait time is up to an hour long for an already scheduled appointment.
children do backflips in the lobby.
but at least I get in, get out, and get my pills.
and get a really nice in home therapist who is very nice about my spirituality and mental illness, as well as my age (i'm 16, but she acknowledges that I can make most decisions for myself already) so it's better than it was before.