Help with dissociative amnesia
Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 10:39 am
Normally I don't talk this intimately about some of my issues when I first meet a new group. But I'm getting worse and worse, and waiting on a therapist's list is taking SUCH A LONG TIME!!!
I'm not here for pity party, just to get advice, on how to cope, and help myself.
(it's always easier to give others advice huh)
To the point.
Since I was a child, around 4-5 ( I can remember back to 2) I was sexually (that first happened at 4) or physically, emotionally, abused. Beaten by my husband, step mother, Raped 6 imes, including a gang rape by 6 men who drugged me (they have such wonderful politically correct names for it now, huh? Well I'm going to give cliff notes, and if anyone has questions, feel free to ask. I will tell you what I remember.
Now, onto what I need.
I have disacociative amnesia, which, basically means that .... During a normal day.. (a for instance) I can be washing clothes, and something (don't know what, (thought, smell, or just my mind on menial tasks wandering) I think of those horrifying moments..and *poof* a hour, or 5 hours, or day, or week, or a few weeks of my life is gone from my memory.
I've meditated, I haven't been able to be hypnotized, and during some of these boughts of forgetting,
I've done dome crazy, not very lady like things. Or I've gone on with my life, muscle memory taken over...
I have looked over memory spells, nothing fits my issues, I've tried to make my own, but can't seem to get it right.
This is effecting my entire life, and those around me...
Does anyone have any ideas?
Wonderful Blessings
I'm not here for pity party, just to get advice, on how to cope, and help myself.
(it's always easier to give others advice huh)
To the point.
Since I was a child, around 4-5 ( I can remember back to 2) I was sexually (that first happened at 4) or physically, emotionally, abused. Beaten by my husband, step mother, Raped 6 imes, including a gang rape by 6 men who drugged me (they have such wonderful politically correct names for it now, huh? Well I'm going to give cliff notes, and if anyone has questions, feel free to ask. I will tell you what I remember.
Now, onto what I need.
I have disacociative amnesia, which, basically means that .... During a normal day.. (a for instance) I can be washing clothes, and something (don't know what, (thought, smell, or just my mind on menial tasks wandering) I think of those horrifying moments..and *poof* a hour, or 5 hours, or day, or week, or a few weeks of my life is gone from my memory.
I've meditated, I haven't been able to be hypnotized, and during some of these boughts of forgetting,
I've done dome crazy, not very lady like things. Or I've gone on with my life, muscle memory taken over...
I have looked over memory spells, nothing fits my issues, I've tried to make my own, but can't seem to get it right.
This is effecting my entire life, and those around me...
Does anyone have any ideas?
Wonderful Blessings