Developing Relationships with All the Elements
Posted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 2:33 pm
I often hear folks asking, "What is my element?" I think that's a great question ... to start with. It's a very easy question, and usually the answer comes to mind quite readily. Maybe you've always been drawn to the flickering flame of a candle, so you're Fire, or you were born a Cancer sign so you're water.
While it is indeed quite natural to feel more comfortable with one element than others, what’s never been quite clear to me is what kind of relationship is implied by the phrase “my element”. Is this the one that you “identify” with, or draw power from? Or does this mean that this particular element has “claimed” you, that you have loyalty to this one above others (which I suspect comes from how we talk about deities, a lot of the time)? Each element has its benevolent qualities and its destructive, monstrous qualities - does that mean you embrace both parts of “your” element? More importantly, what does this say about your relationships with the other elements?
As they say, "Earth my body, Water my blood, Air my breath and Fire my spirit." We are each comprised of each of the four elements; we could not live if we were missing any one of them. Every element has many valuable lessons to teach us, as well as dangers if we are too dependent on any one of them. It is true that most of us likely connect to one element more easily than others, but we all have the qualities of all the elements in varying degrees. My main concern is that asking the question “What is my element?” prevents us from asking about or developing our connection with all of the elements; the question limits us, rather than expands us.
We are far, far stronger if we can recognize the qualities of all of the elements within ourselves and use them consciously to affect the world around us. This means identifying our relationships with the different elements, which can sometimes can be just as complex as our relationships with different people. One element might fit your temperament quite well, but you might aspire to embody another element. Maybe one element disgusts you, and it’s worth exploring why. Maybe another element is one that you admire in other people, but don't necessarily care to develop in yourself. Maybe you were raised to be quite adept in one element, but are actually more expressive and talented in using another. Maybe one element came to you easily as a child, but as you age you find that another one really speaks to you. It is really important to find out what your relationships are with all of the elements, because once you do, you can know yourself fully. If you know yourself, then you can change yourself and the world around you.
So to that end, I encourage anyone who's interested to start talking about their relationships with all of the elements, and to share their stories on this thread.
I’ll go first. Here’s my personal story - I feel like I’ve always been a very emotional and sensitive person, so in this sense I have always felt watery. When I need to I don’t have too much trouble drawing inspiration from fire, even if it’s not my most natural state. However, my parents taught me to do well in school, which in my mind was about being airy. Being bookish and scholarly have been useful tools, but there are a couple of downsides to air. One, when you put too much value into things you can’t see (for me, this was academics), you sometimes miss the things that are real and right in front of you, like water - I was often encouraged to suppress my watery temperament, and it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve been opening myself up to really explore my feelings and the memories that are really lurking way deep in the ocean, and honing my intuition. Two, air is free and it floats, but sometimes you need to be strong in the way that a tree is strong, with deep roots and the groundedness that comes with being in connection with other living things. My parents always told me that I needed to sacrifice my relationships with other people in order to succeed (yep, tiger cub here), and so my connection to earth hasn’t always been the easiest thing, but it’s what I yearn for the most.
Special thanks to Heartsong and Kassandra for helping me edit this post!
While it is indeed quite natural to feel more comfortable with one element than others, what’s never been quite clear to me is what kind of relationship is implied by the phrase “my element”. Is this the one that you “identify” with, or draw power from? Or does this mean that this particular element has “claimed” you, that you have loyalty to this one above others (which I suspect comes from how we talk about deities, a lot of the time)? Each element has its benevolent qualities and its destructive, monstrous qualities - does that mean you embrace both parts of “your” element? More importantly, what does this say about your relationships with the other elements?
As they say, "Earth my body, Water my blood, Air my breath and Fire my spirit." We are each comprised of each of the four elements; we could not live if we were missing any one of them. Every element has many valuable lessons to teach us, as well as dangers if we are too dependent on any one of them. It is true that most of us likely connect to one element more easily than others, but we all have the qualities of all the elements in varying degrees. My main concern is that asking the question “What is my element?” prevents us from asking about or developing our connection with all of the elements; the question limits us, rather than expands us.
We are far, far stronger if we can recognize the qualities of all of the elements within ourselves and use them consciously to affect the world around us. This means identifying our relationships with the different elements, which can sometimes can be just as complex as our relationships with different people. One element might fit your temperament quite well, but you might aspire to embody another element. Maybe one element disgusts you, and it’s worth exploring why. Maybe another element is one that you admire in other people, but don't necessarily care to develop in yourself. Maybe you were raised to be quite adept in one element, but are actually more expressive and talented in using another. Maybe one element came to you easily as a child, but as you age you find that another one really speaks to you. It is really important to find out what your relationships are with all of the elements, because once you do, you can know yourself fully. If you know yourself, then you can change yourself and the world around you.
So to that end, I encourage anyone who's interested to start talking about their relationships with all of the elements, and to share their stories on this thread.
I’ll go first. Here’s my personal story - I feel like I’ve always been a very emotional and sensitive person, so in this sense I have always felt watery. When I need to I don’t have too much trouble drawing inspiration from fire, even if it’s not my most natural state. However, my parents taught me to do well in school, which in my mind was about being airy. Being bookish and scholarly have been useful tools, but there are a couple of downsides to air. One, when you put too much value into things you can’t see (for me, this was academics), you sometimes miss the things that are real and right in front of you, like water - I was often encouraged to suppress my watery temperament, and it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve been opening myself up to really explore my feelings and the memories that are really lurking way deep in the ocean, and honing my intuition. Two, air is free and it floats, but sometimes you need to be strong in the way that a tree is strong, with deep roots and the groundedness that comes with being in connection with other living things. My parents always told me that I needed to sacrifice my relationships with other people in order to succeed (yep, tiger cub here), and so my connection to earth hasn’t always been the easiest thing, but it’s what I yearn for the most.
Special thanks to Heartsong and Kassandra for helping me edit this post!