Everything Under the Moon

My boyfriend went out and I thought he was gonna be gone ages, so I set up a little ritual to honour my Matron Diana and the energy was really nice, and I was just meditating on her. But then my boyfriend came back suddenly and I freaked out and blew all the candles out and tidied up quickly. I thanked the elements and Diana under my breath to say they could go but I'm a bit worried. Funny thing is my boyfriend knows about it and doesn't mind but I'm so used to operating in secret (Christian family).... agh. I feel bad about how it ended.

I have issues with this too- I'm yet to ever say a spell more than under my breath, really, and I have trouble raising energy because I'm always so nervous about people walking in. I don't think you needn't worry too much. Yes, the circle is sometimes about creating a sacred space, but it's also for your protection- (The Wiccan Rede, for example, states, 'Cast the Circle thrice about/ To keep the evil spirits out'), so once you treated it with as much respect as you could in your situation, and said goodbye, I should think you're okay.
I can't say what you should do to fix it, but what I generally do in a similar situation is just take a moment to say a few quiet words to the god or gods I'm addressing when I can.

As you farewelled what needed releasing, the circle energy itself would dissipate when it was walked through. No foul, no harm. If you hadn't, then you could cancel by sprinkling salt to neutralize the psychic energy. Spend some time grounding your own energy to gain harmony. You might burn some scented candles occasionally just to enjoy it. Maybe you could meditate without hiding it to visually bring your practices into ordinary life and ease your reactions into your current, more open life style.

I've been in the Arts over 55 years. We had to learn to hide things from everybody. I was lucky, my family argued about it but keep it within the family and keep it mostly civil. We still were very circumspect with what we brought up. Extended family get togethers could be a minefield. Grams wasn't teaching most of the great grand kids. It was fun at home too. Mom would religious the pagan out of me. She slings a good sermon but I can do without it. You may want to practice and make your magic with your intent, mentally holding the things you need within your mind. E = MC2 The energy in your mind has a full physical existence in some dimension. You can practice and have it "on call" so to speak. May you find your path and may your step be sure and light.

Thank you all. I fear if I don't use proper ritual objects and use my imagination instead that it won't work as well, and I really enjoy the practical element of it. I may have to make do for now though.