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Pisces and relationship problems

PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 12:22 am
by ErisDysnomia
I know it's not just me but as a Pisces (II/B) I feel like I can never find a solid long lasting relationship. I feel like every time that I find a guy I feel I really connect with he doesn't feel the same in return. It doesn't matter what his zodiac sign is either. I will go through long periods of being constantly rejected with no reason for the rejection other than I'm just not their type.

But I will have dozens of other guys that aren't my type coming after me. They see this sweet person and they try to white knight me. Not in the sense of how someone would see a prince charming but the bad kind of white knighting where they insist I am helpless, and they are kind misogynistic pricks. My sister told me to lower my standard (which I guess can be a Pisces thing) but the problem is having low standards is what gets me into bad and potentially abusive relationships in the first place.

After all of those nice wonderful guys I try to go after reject me, I do eventually fold to the ones that I know I wont go well with but I say hey... why not? I even stayed 8.5 years in a very abusive relationship that I knew wasn't good for me and I was very unhappy because I was under the impression that it was the best anything was ever going to get for me.

I noticed with my friends and family that are Pisces they do a lot of the same things. I have a friend who is Aquarius-Pisces Cusp who refuses relationships outright because he keeps getting hurt because the only kind of women who try to date him are cheaters, and the ones he wants that would actually be good for him wont go any where near him.

My cousin who is Pisces (I/A) has always had a hard time finding women, and decided to stay in a relationship that is very bad for him. The girl he is with is very possessive and fairly mentally unstable. Constantly threatens to kill herself if he doesn't spend time with her, and wont let him near anyone including his family most the time. When he is away she is constantly blowing up his phone. He only stays because like me he thinks she is all there is for him.

I have another Aquarius-Pisces Cusp friend who is constantly in and out of relationships because the women keep cheating on him as well.

Is this a common theme for Pisces? From what I gathered here and there it's common but what do you all think?

Is there even anything we can do?

I mean, there has to be something right? There has to be something we are each doing that is driving away what we view as a good potential partner and bringing bad ones close.

Re: Pisces and relationship problems

PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 1:40 am
by Bychan Wulf
I don't have much experience with guys or relationships,but I can tell you what a psychiatrist told my cousin. She was also in an abusive relationship and managed to get out( tue abuser left her) with depression which lead to trauma induced schizophrenia. Btw congratulations fornleaving the giy;it takes a lot of strength and courage!
The psychiatrist told her that if she is too open and actively searching for a decent guy,only the wrong type of me will be attracted by her. He advised her to find a hobby or something to focus on and let it just happen. If you try too much, you won't succeed,because the social beings don't like to feel pressured.
For example she started volunteering ata veterinary clinic which also has a saving animals project. After 6 months she got a serious relationship woth a great guy (is currently planning the wedding,4 cats and 6 puppies in the house :shock:

Re: Pisces and relationship problems

PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 6:57 pm
by ErisDysnomia
congratulations fornleaving the giy

For me it's guys, plural. 7 of them to be exact from the age of 11 to 27 I've been in a out of abusive relationships of all shapes, sizes, and severity. Only had one really good relationship and by the time I was in it, I was so messed up from the ones before him that I ruined it. I had come to expect really bad things and he couldn't tolerate my behavior and left.

I suffer from PTSD, which after years of fighting I have under control.

I have been trying to stay away from looking but when I get into a hobby I tend to become and extreme introvert. Like I don't leave my house unless it's to work, or get groceries. At work I talk to no one, no one really is in my age group and if they are they more interested in clubbing and one night stands. My hobbies are generally art, music, and video games. I actually don't get out a whole lot as it is, and in order to meet any guy at all I have to go looking. But I also don't like to date people unless I've known them for a while and they attempt to be my friend first... well at this point in my life anyways.

I put this as a Pisces issue because we don't like people to get to know us very well, and resonate with that. I lack trust in all people and it could take over a year of getting to know me at all to just barely get past all the superficial stuff. That is typical of a Pisces though. We have these really big hearts, and unfortunately those of us who aren't nurtured well become extremely guarded. Darn near impenetrable. Every time I try to let people in they either drop off the earth and just stop talking to me or they do something really cruel to me and I walk away. I don't give second chances anymore either so that makes it even harder. I used to have a really bad habit of letting toxic people back into my life so I just stopped letting everyone back in, because it's hard to tell people that are toxic apart from other sometimes.

I feel like a lot of my other down on their luck Pisces pals go through a lot of the same things.

Re: Pisces and relationship problems

PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 8:16 pm
by SnowCat
I'm not sure it's a Pisces thing. My dad was a Pisces. My parents were married until he died. My youngest granddaughter is a very extroverted Pisces. It's difficult to break out of the pattern of falling for abusive guys. It's all across the zodiac.


Re: Pisces and relationship problems

PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 8:43 pm
by ErisDysnomia
Well it's not just me. It's every Pisces I know personally too. And it's not just guys. It's them finding abusive girls. Even started a similar conversation on reddit and it seemed across the board but I figured I'd start one here because Reddit can be a little bias lots of people like to complain there.

My friends dad is a pisces, multiple divorces. I was recently told - the most memorable story - where a redditors cousin was a pisces and she went through a lot of the same stuff and eventually swore off men and got a dog. Said she's way happier with a pet then she ever was people.

It's not just bf/gf relationships either. That just seems to be the most hard hitting.

I even have extreme trouble making friends. I have that stereotypical Pisces kindness and its like people like to take a big poo all over it all the time. They start making friends and then its like poof they get what they want they are gone. Or they string me along coming to me for kindness in all of these dramatic life things they have - being a Pisces - I'm well known for having that typical shoulder to cry on. Then when the tables are turned they walk out the door and I shoulder everything myself.

I'm normally extremely extroverted myself but people seem to not like that. I'm a go getter and when people make plans I try and keep up and then they drop plans or drop me out of plans. So I've become much more introverted over the years.

My cousin had the same problem for a long time, he's a pisces. Still has that problem.

We are both well into adulthood and feel constantly alone. My Aquarius-Pisces friend feels the same, he says he can be in a crowd and just feel like he doesn't belong. So he will just leave, I find myself doing the same a lot of the time.

Maybe that's just part of our over sensitivity showing through, but I feel most pisces internally feel the same, they just don't say anything to anyone because they fear negative reception. That's why I don't talk to people about it. When I do instead of someone trying to understand where I'm coming from it's "well you shouldn't feel like that". Which can be a very incorrect way of going about talking to anyone coming to you for comfort or to vent. It didn't take me 2 psychology, and 2 bereavement classes to figure that one out.

Re: Pisces and relationship problems

PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2016 12:13 am
by Bychan Wulf
They start making friends and then its like poof they get what they want they are gone.

Story of my life. I'm a library and have the same problem,but I think that as long as you feel good for helping people,it's a win-win situation.

Well,with hobbies,I meant something that would force you to get out of the house,meet people and have fun. Volunteering really helps and there are mostly young people.

About the Pisces could be a Pisces thing,but there are also many types (fire,water...-Chinese Zodiac)

Re: Pisces and relationship problems

PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2018 10:43 pm
by Tornadofire-Sylva
I'm married to a Pisces, so I'll drop my two cents here. There are very few signs that have the same level of generosity as the dear fishes, and it can be really hard to understand. Anyone that isn't willing to try will just take it for granted. Somehow my poor husband managed to marry a Gemini (me!), so it's taking a lot of counseling and thinking before I speak to make it work. There's just a level of empathy and kindness that many others don't have. It takes a lot of effort to "vibe" with a Pisces because they've got such a deep connection with the world around them and sometimes other can feel left out. At least, that's my perception.

Re: Pisces and relationship problems

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2018 9:47 pm
by Lady_Lilith
I don't think this has anything to do with being a Pisces. And I am a Pisces. I think there is a logical solution to this. So here it is:

Re: Pisces and relationship problems

PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2018 11:40 pm
by Siona
ErisDysnomia wrote:Well it's not just me. It's every Pisces I know personally too.

I do have to wonder if there is not some confirmation bias going on. It might be every Pisces you know, but it's no Pisces I know. And how many people do you know who are not Pisces who go through the same thing? I know many. I don't know if this is just a sun sign thing, really. Especially since sun signs are only a part of a complex chart, if you want to throw in with western astrology.

Regardless, I think one thing is you have to start learning from past encounters. If people in the past have taken advantage of you, be aware of that, and start putting up boundaries, asserting your needs, and not over-extending that kindness and taking on everything of someone else until you know the person will reciprocate. Build slowly. Again, not strictly a Pisces thing, it's something many have to learn. There is also what Lady Lilith linked. You mentioned taking psychology classes, have you been in therapy yourself, though? It might help unpack some of what's going on.