Stuck

[Hennah]

Over the years I've had recurring dreams of my childhood home. Sometimes it appears as if I still lived there with my parents, but more often than not it has started appearing as collapsing and abandoned house and yard area I've returned to. There is often a sense of the place being haunted, as if long and heavy rains and floods swept through the area leaving nothing more behind than ruins, rotting furniture and dead woods...

My family moved away from there as I was a teenager and we've only driven past the place few times ever since... seeing the old home doesn't bring anything to the surface in following nights though. The place is still beautiful even while the new residents have made it different from what it was before. I had wonderful time playing in the yard and around the neighborhood when I was young, but none of those good memories show up in dreams. It's always the haunting sense of living in or returning to some rotten and abandoned landscape where the collapsing childhood home is located.

There is most likely some unprocessed childhood stuff buried deep within aside from what I'm already aware of (aggressive, neglectful and suffocating family members - even my childhood friends had nightmares of one specific family member of mine), but I can't access it although spending over 10 years trying to heal from depression and trying different therapies. Something still stirs up those unconscious memories on daily basis... as if I'm getting flashbacks of the dreams about the childhood home instead of getting flashbacks of the childhood home itself. I don't know what triggers them to surface and what there is that is difficult to grasp by my conscious so that it would heal. But as long as it remais unprocessed and out of my grasp, it seems to keep bothering me. All I can grasp is that I'm probably subconsciously still feeling stuck in the past, no matter how much I try consciously work on it and just let go.

What insights would these dreams bring up for you? Is there another approach I should consider in order to free my subconscious?

[barker]

I have been having a similar recurring dream about playing sport when I was a teenager. It is aggressive, neglectful, suffocating underneath as well. I suppose it could only mean that the time has been remembered as glorious - but glory is not for everybody! Some, like myself, forego such a memory in favour of bliss. More like "love was righteous" instead of "we were righteous." The ego been shut out of the equation, to respond as a better substance when ready.

Ineffability...

[SpiritTalker]

Whenever I dream of a particular house I know it represents me, my whole being at all levels of consciousness. Whichever level of the house or room I go to tells me which part of my self is being addressed. Stairs, ladders, fireman's poles (my favorite ) & elevators have indicated passages between levels of spiritual being. Sometimes I meet other people there. I think of them as another form of me with a message. Rickety attic stairs told me I'd been neglecting higher self exercises so the connection was edgy. Ive noticed I have the house-dream whenever I'm readjusting to some type of change in my life, awaiting settling into the new normal.

To me, your dilapidated structure suggests abandonment, giving up rather than letting go of The Structure itself, of the framework & support.