Everything Under the Moon

I've struggled with depression for many years and one thing I've noticed is that I tend to have horribly realistic night terrors when I go through depressive episodes. Like either fighting for my life or running from something or watching my loved ones lose their lives. Things like that. I've had them so long that in some way they've become mildly comforting. I used to wake up shaking and horrified and deeply disturbed. It's so normal now that I sort of enjoy it. It's a way to train myself and ready myself for anything I could face in the world. It's probably not a good thing that sleeping becomes a fight for my life but it's what I have to deal with now apparently.

I have really wild dreams when I'm stressed. Mine aren't violent, but they affect my quality of sleep. I don't know if it's a change in brain chemistry, or the subconscious processing all the leftovers. I suspect it's brain chemistry, since the antidepressants I have tried for my fibromyalgia made me have weird dreams.

Snow