Greetings and questions from Metaphasic
Posted: Sun Apr 14, 2019 9:26 pm
Hello everybody,
I guess I should start at the beginning. I am 50, have been married for 27 years, have 6 children and 5 grandchildren. I was indoctrinated into Christianity at a very early age, but over the years found that it didn't resonate with me for various reasons. I won't go into them here though, as I know many here may be Christian.
I left Christianity a very long time ago, but I kept looking. I always believed there was something more. A higher spirituality, if you will. During my search, I came upon the writings of an alternative scientist known as Walter Russell. He based his theories upon things he witnessed during lucid dreaming, for those who do not know who he was.
He spoke of duality in all things. Masculine and feminine. Positive and negative. Light an dark. Contraction and expansion. One of his theories was the "cubic wave field", in which various harmonic resonances between these forces caused matter.
I had been able to see auras all my life. In fact, it never occurred to me that what I saw not average until I discussed it with my eldest son. About 10 years ago, however, I had a massive stroke, and the ability vanished. I have been trying everything to find my way back.
In the last few months, I came upon another online resource and began reading about Wiccan beliefs. The ideas of the One, the God and Goddess aspects of the One, Chakras, and many other things simply made immediate sense.
I am not looking to perform magick on anybody other than myself, and even then, limited only to those that help me center myself, find balance, and boost my self-actualization. Some may argue that I can do this on my own, without an external system of belief, but I don't see Wicca as external, as we are all one. I don't just live in this world. I am part of it.
I am also a goth. I find beauty in everything. But I have a special place in my heart for the fashion and architecture of the Visigoth people.
In my previous research, I discovered the meaning behind the pentacle, and what each point represents. Spirit, air <-> earth, water <-> fire, and the circle. I choose to wear both north-pointing, to protect my positive natures, and inverted, to acknowledge and bind my negative impulses. I have been doing this for years.
Just within the last few days, I've felt a surge, or compulsion if you will, to reach out to those who know more. You see, I live in the boondocks. The witchvox site had nothing listed anywhere near my area. My wife is a staunch Christian and views it as demonic. Yeah, I know. Since I am retired and have a fixed income, which is little more than we need to make it, I cannot afford implements. Yes, I am aware that a lot isn't required, and that some have substitutions.
The truth is, I don't even know how to label myself, understanding full well that labels can be restrictive, and at the same time helpful. I have no books or anything. I am completely lost on how to proceed, or even if I'm a good fit.
I even chose my username, Metaphasic, as a reflection of the constancy of change within the big picture. Meta is the larger view and everything goes through phases, like the moon (Goddess).
Any and all insight will be read and appreciated. I look forward to hearing from all of you.
I read the forum rules, and a great many stickies, before joining.
I guess I should start at the beginning. I am 50, have been married for 27 years, have 6 children and 5 grandchildren. I was indoctrinated into Christianity at a very early age, but over the years found that it didn't resonate with me for various reasons. I won't go into them here though, as I know many here may be Christian.
I left Christianity a very long time ago, but I kept looking. I always believed there was something more. A higher spirituality, if you will. During my search, I came upon the writings of an alternative scientist known as Walter Russell. He based his theories upon things he witnessed during lucid dreaming, for those who do not know who he was.
He spoke of duality in all things. Masculine and feminine. Positive and negative. Light an dark. Contraction and expansion. One of his theories was the "cubic wave field", in which various harmonic resonances between these forces caused matter.
I had been able to see auras all my life. In fact, it never occurred to me that what I saw not average until I discussed it with my eldest son. About 10 years ago, however, I had a massive stroke, and the ability vanished. I have been trying everything to find my way back.
In the last few months, I came upon another online resource and began reading about Wiccan beliefs. The ideas of the One, the God and Goddess aspects of the One, Chakras, and many other things simply made immediate sense.
I am not looking to perform magick on anybody other than myself, and even then, limited only to those that help me center myself, find balance, and boost my self-actualization. Some may argue that I can do this on my own, without an external system of belief, but I don't see Wicca as external, as we are all one. I don't just live in this world. I am part of it.
I am also a goth. I find beauty in everything. But I have a special place in my heart for the fashion and architecture of the Visigoth people.
In my previous research, I discovered the meaning behind the pentacle, and what each point represents. Spirit, air <-> earth, water <-> fire, and the circle. I choose to wear both north-pointing, to protect my positive natures, and inverted, to acknowledge and bind my negative impulses. I have been doing this for years.
Just within the last few days, I've felt a surge, or compulsion if you will, to reach out to those who know more. You see, I live in the boondocks. The witchvox site had nothing listed anywhere near my area. My wife is a staunch Christian and views it as demonic. Yeah, I know. Since I am retired and have a fixed income, which is little more than we need to make it, I cannot afford implements. Yes, I am aware that a lot isn't required, and that some have substitutions.
The truth is, I don't even know how to label myself, understanding full well that labels can be restrictive, and at the same time helpful. I have no books or anything. I am completely lost on how to proceed, or even if I'm a good fit.
I even chose my username, Metaphasic, as a reflection of the constancy of change within the big picture. Meta is the larger view and everything goes through phases, like the moon (Goddess).
Any and all insight will be read and appreciated. I look forward to hearing from all of you.
I read the forum rules, and a great many stickies, before joining.