Everything Under the Moon

When someone is wronging you. How does one respond. With love or hate?
Does love free you from bondage of hate, or does hate spur you into action?

"Hate" seems like such a strong word to me, and I have a hard time imagining that it's ever constructive. Usually, one's response to being wronged is anger, which is very different. Unlike some who say that anger is always a bad thing, I believe that anger (used properly) can be very constructive. Sometimes the most loving response is anger, because love is what spurs us to protect ourselves and others. We do need to be careful not to hold onto anger once it has served its purpose, but I think we do ourselves a disservice by dismissing anger too quickly.

If someone is willfully wronging me, it has only one purpose: to disempower me.
That's manipulation. It is neither love or hate to respond by looking out for myself.
In the few times I've had to deal with another's hateful behavior, I felt pity ... no love, no hate.

I think "anger" is a better way to describe how I respond. Hate is just too strong of a word for me.

Anyone who is small enough to express hate to another person deserves nothing but pity, scorn, and shunning.
I DO NOT feed the hate trolls by offering them any energy, whatsoever.

firebirdflys wrote:When someone is wronging you. How does one respond. With love or hate?
Does love free you from bondage of hate, or does hate spur you into action?

In my experience, love does not free us from those who hate us. We can turn the other cheek, we can pray for them, we can try to make amends. But if their hate is legitimate and strong enough, then it is lasting.

But here's the tricky part. Hate vs Hate continues the cycle. The only way to break it is with Love.

Not the compassionate Christian kind of Love, but the love of a mother who spanks her child to correct behavior.

The purest form of Love takes no action, like Ghandi.

If we have any power in the World, than it will be aligned with the World. The World is designed for our evolution through experience.

Anger is an emotional response; an expression of energy. I don't believe in separate emotions as separate things anymore, just different expressions of the same tide of energy.

Yet Hate is the child of anger mixed with thought - hate plans, fantasizes, broods, gloats, ruminates, has anxieties

Hate is a creature - it has energy, personality and motive, it has a mind - with these things it can influence and distort its "host"; steer have its own agenda.

Hate has a voice.

Little demons ... Thought=Form.

Always had a lot of energy, not always expressed in the most controlled or suitable ways ... never had much hate though ...

Even our "emotions" that are negative may be used. Used as the calm, thinking inner self uses any tool. A scalpel can end suffering, it can be a fancy murder weapon or it can cut your meat at dinner. Hate prejudice. Hate injustice. Hate the ills and sorrows that humans inflict on each other. Use it to energize yourself, to carry you forward against all the things in your life and surroundings that you can change for the better. I don't know of a better use for hate.

If someone wrongs you, it's common to feel angry. Hatred can result from long-term anger (which can come from being repetitively wronged), but it can have many forms and purposes how it manifests. Hatred can also be used for constructive purposes, for example it can give inspiration to write a story or give you deeper understanding of certain things, but it's also wise to remain aware and cautious of those filled with hatred as the common things we associate with hatred are there for a reason.

Understanding brings acceptance which can bring love, as in "live and let live". It's important to understand hatred, therefore we can approach these things with (tough) love also. But if someone doesn't respect your right to live in peace and walks over your boundaries, no matter your precaution and prevention that the other wouldn't further it, it would be self-denial to not respond with hatred in its many different forms.

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firebirdflys wrote:When someone is wronging you. How does one respond. With love or hate?

Hmm. Responding with an emotion ("love or hate") seems less effective than responding by seeking justice for myself in the situation. I would base my response to the wrongdoing by first asking myself, "What would be fair to me?" and then taking actions that support my answer(s) to that question (and to ask if one would respond to wrongdoing with "love" kind of doesn't make sense to me... --"Hey, you just stole my lawn chair!! I love you." Eh??-- so I'm unable to answer that part of your question firebirdflys, lol).

Nevertheless, we are emotional beings, and I could not ignore my emotional response to wrongdoing against me. However, the way you wrote your question seems to limit possibilities of emotional reactions beyond just two, love or hate. What about hurt, shock, fear, etc.? In fact, some say anger is merely a secondary emotion, a "cover" if you will, for a variety of other emotions.

So, depending upon how emotionally-invested in the wrongdoing I am (with less-serious wrongdoings I might say, "Meh, that guy's just an a**," and go about my merry way, lol), depending on the level of seriousness, I would say for more serious offenses against me I would initially feel a sense of hurt more than anything else. Anger, even rage, might come next, but sometimes sadness does, or confusion, or regretfulness that it happened ...or all of the above plus more.

Emotional responses are seldom a black or white thing.

firebirdflys wrote:Does love free you from bondage of hate, or does hate spur you into action?

Why can't both be valid, experienced simultaneously even? One does not necessarily exclude the other. I guess what came to my mind when I read your questions is how there's a difference between hate and anger. Anger is actually considered healthy by some, as it does at times spur us to take needed action. I also think that love doesn't necessarily have to be expressed in a syrupy way. You don't have to hug and kiss someone to love him or her. It can be tough, or even unexpressed, yet still be very much there.

We can even simultaneously be very angry at someone, yet still love him or her.

Ha, so many possible permutations! Perhaps it's just best to view emotions as each possessing their own spectrums of expression, rather than view them as static absolutes which must look one way, or another.



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I don't believe in turning the other cheek. It's just not my thing. People who do that are probably stronger than me, but I do feel when wronged, you need to respond properly because people treat you the way you let them treat you. And if you do nothing, they will continue to wrong you. Only my thoughts, though.

I don't respond with hate either when wronged. If I can get back at the person, I would gladly do so, but if I can't, indifference actually hurts more than hate. I know I sound quite cold, but I have crossed people out of my life for doing me wrong. It's just a defensive reaction - if the person is hurting me, I don't need to put myself through that again, so they are out of my life, sometimes for good. But hate - I don't really think I can hate. I use the word sometimes, but I don't really feel the emotion.

When my ex wronged me, I responded by making a better life for myself and my daughter than what he would ever have offered us.

Snow

SpiritTalker wrote:If someone is willfully wronging me, it has only one purpose: to disempower me.
That's manipulation. It is neither love or hate to respond by looking out for myself.
In the few times I've had to deal with another's hateful behavior, I felt pity ... no love, no hate.

If one can keep this attitude all the time I'd call it being victorious in life.

If one can keep this attitude all the time I'd call it being victorious in life.

Yes, also prior to the victory is the conquest. Do things righteously if and when the bothersome others aren't in that phase. Seeking and finding self-determined reward.

It's life - you have the same soul, you do.