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Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2016 2:54 pm
by fieldmouse
Hi, new here. And as such I followed my introductory email and read your rules thread first. All seems reasonable, but I was a little taken aback by this line:
7. Insults, cliques, bullying, manipulation and childish behavior will not be tolerated. It wasn't okay for your mama and daddy to abuse you, and it's not okay for you to abuse other people. If you feel you are being mistreated or harassed by another member, please let Starwitch or a moderator know via private message.
In a rule discouraging insults and bullying, and on a site I hope aims to be as safe a place as possible, the section I've bolded above seems a tad insensitive, especially with the age requirement being only 13 on the site.

Could it be removed?
Thanks for considering.

Re: Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2016 3:02 pm
by Xiao Rong
Hi Fieldmouse, thank you for pointing out this line. I don't know where it originated from, but yes, I will rewrite it in a way that is more sensitive and respectful.

Re: Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2016 9:10 pm
by Kassandra
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It was Starwitch's writing, who is from Tennessee. She prob wouldn't mind it being edited, but you could ask her. I don't think it was meant to be insensitive nor disrespectful. "Your mama (or daddy)..." this or that is a common figure of speech in the Southern United States region. In fact, I always found that part amusing every time I read over it, since I have a lot of Southern relatives who spice their language with that.

Like, say you're standing in front of a TV, blocking someone's view. A Southern person might say to you, "Hey, now your mama wasn't a glass maker, was she?!" lol They say things in a round about way in the South, lots of allegories. I could see how it could be construed differently than was meant by someone not familiar with the colloquialisms of that culture, and with just letters on a screen minus the intonations and mannerisms that would have gone with with the spoken words.

I see you're from the UK, fieldmouse. I had the hardest time getting used to the common UK saying, "take the piss." I kept envisioning someone sneaking off with a urine sample, lol. And just this morning, a UK acquaintance of mine said when she and her son returned from holiday, she felt like she was "back in a crisp packet." She kept saying that over and over, and I was like, what the heck is a crisp packet?! haha I finally had to Google it. A lot of things she says I just have to Google.

Language can be fun, but sometimes it's easy to misunderstand the meaning and intention behind what's said when it's online. :wink:


Thanks.



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Re: Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:31 am
by moonraingirl
Kassandra wrote:.
"Your mama (or daddy)..." this or that is a common figure of speech in the Southern United States region. In fact, I always found that part amusing every time I read over it, since I have a lot of Southern relatives who spice their language with that.

Like, say you're standing in front of a TV, blocking someone's view. A Southern person might say to you, "Hey, now your mama wasn't a glass maker, was she?!" lol They say things in a round about way in the South, lots of allegories. I could see how it could be construed differently than was meant by someone not familiar with the colloquialisms of that culture, and with just letters on a screen minus the intonations and mannerisms that would have gone with with the spoken words.

I see you're from the UK, fieldmouse. I had the hardest time getting used to the common UK saying, "take the piss." I kept envisioning someone with a urine sample in their hand, sneaking off trying to steal it, lol. And just this morning, a UK acquaintance of mine said when she and her son returned from holiday, she felt like she was back in a crisp packet. She kept saying that over and over, and I was like, what the heck is a crisp packet?! haha I finally had to Google it. A lot of things she says I just have to Google.
.
Sorry for resurrecting an old post.
Just wanted to say thank you, Kassandra. I haven't heard of these idioms before. I always enjoy learning new vocab and cultural stuff! :flyingwitch:
This is what I found when googling crisp packet :D http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... p%20packet goodnevil. It was the first search result in the list. Feel free to remove it if it's inappropriate.

Re: Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 5:18 am
by Bychan Wulf
I never imagined Starwitch speaking like the Southerns but it makes all posts way more interesting to read. :-)
And I'm sorry I wasn't a member here soon enough to catch that part, I would have had a good laugh....but it's never too late :lol:

It's funny as a non-native English-speaker to hear such idioms, because you always have to say "huh, say that again, please" or "is a translation avaliable?", but it gives a hint on the person's culture, which is helpful because there are so many different cultures around here...

Re: Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 5:27 am
by Corbin
Just a thought created by observation, yet I'm going to break from traditional modern thought and say that actually, we as people gain and advance more from learning to live with the quirks of other people's statements, then continually reacting and trying to edit, repackage or reshape them (impose our will over theirs). Broaden perspectives rather then shave them to fit into pigeonholes?

Wheat and chaff?

Tolerance is a two way street - less about celebrating our differences then accepting our incompleteness / fallibility and moving past them (known as "the spirit of friendship").

Should we trade the illusion of a "perfect world" for all people for a world we can all just about live in and get Along in, we can perhaps save the battles for those ones that actually matter?

Be blessed.

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.

- Jalaluddin Rumi

Re: Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 5:51 am
by SnowCat
I remember one day when I kept having to repeat everything I said to my middle granddaughter. Frustrated, I finally said "I don't chew my cabbage twice." I'm not sure where that phrase originated, but I think I picked it up from my grandmother.

Snow

Re: Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 6:25 am
by moonraingirl
(huh, I see that my link doesn't lead to intended post when I'm on tapatalk)

What I love about languages is that learning them always comes hand in hand with discovering culture and gaining new points of view.

Interesting thoughts, Corbin. It is like a collective form of shadow work.

Re: Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 6:32 am
by Corbin
:D That would be almost too perfectly encapsulate it.

Mass unconscious y'know ...

Re: Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 6:47 am
by moonraingirl
I've been wanting to read Jung for ages but haven't done it yet :-/ Shame, I know.

Re: Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:55 am
by Shawn Blackwolf
I remember , 40 years ago , going to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her and her family, slightly "altered" (ahem), and being told by her father what we were having for dinner.

They were from England, and he was a Cockney boiler cleaner, and her mother was *rather upper crust,* so it was already two worlds I was dealing with, let alone the hippie chick (or bird), she was in the process of becoming.

The father looked at me,and asked me if I was hungry, because we were having his favorite meal :

*Toad in the hole, and spotted (nickname for Richard)*

I have to say being "altered," and hearing that, was one of the times I almost completely lost it l smiley_dance: "We are having *what* ?"

Just another name for pork chops in batter, and a tube shaped currant pudding...lol !

Yeah, colloquialisms are funny.

Re: Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 10:22 am
by Firebird
It's interesting this person popped in just long enough to complain then disappear.
I'm with Corbin, we can't please everyone, we can't edit everyone and in my opinion it ain't ok for your mama or your daddy to abuse you and it ain't ok for anyone to abuse another on this forum or anywhere else in the world.
Those of us who were abused are easily triggered, it takes a ton of work to be ok in the world. Please seek out the help needed if finding yourself triggered by relatively normal verbage.
Outright attacks on the other hand should be reported to a moderator.
If you are dealing with abuse outside of this forum please get help. We have several threads on the subject.
Pass me some bangers and mash please...
Bb, Firebird

Re: Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:15 am
by moonraingirl
firebirdflys wrote: Pass me some bangers and mash please...
Bb, Firebird
Amen to that.
BTW
Are bangers and mash considered a traditional comfort food or is it just yours? Or does it have other colloquial meaning? ::coolglasses::

Re: Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:15 pm
by Corbin
Haggis, neeps and tatties for me!

Re: Rewrite this rule?

Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 4:06 pm
by The Judge
Love the vibe in here right now, but this isn't the place for this. People might start thinking that a rule was poorly written. >.<