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I am scared and traumatized

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I am scared and traumatized

Postby Wendy » Sat Jul 08, 2017 3:25 am

I haven't had this happen in a long time, where I was so scared that I started sweating horribly and praying to God for protection. When I was young, there was always something there. If it was a ghost, or spirit, or something else, I do not know, but what I do know is that it was malicious. It terrified me as a child, caused me to be very paranoid and afraid of many things to this very day (am 19). Every night, since the earliest I could remember, probably 3 or 4, something was there. I am not remembering it incorrectly. Every night, afraid to go to sleep again. Afraid to be alone in my room because that's when it could start traumatizing me again and again. I do not sleep walk. Never have. I would wake up in my shoe rack against the wall. I would wake up across the room sometimes in the middle of the night. Every time my mother and I moved, it followed. Making my toys go off when they weren't supposed to. The aura it had or the "vibes" it gave me was horrific, something so awful I don't even know how to explain. It felt like the colour black (not saying black is a negative colour to me, just saying that's what colour it felt like). Up until age 13, I slept with my mom. Every night. She was concerned, because at one point she called the hospital after I was acting hysterical after she passed my room. I don't know what it was, but there was something covering her face. I didn't think it was her. I screamed, and stared crying. So she called the hospital after I started shaking in her arms (this was at my bed time, I was about 6 or 7). I don't remember what happened after that, but I knew that's when I started to sleep with her every night. When I visited my dads house, where my grandparents lived, I would always get my grandma to sleep with me. She was the one who led me to be interested in wicca and such. She would always walk the house with burnint sage, and she would tell me about Faeries and Trolls (she is from Denmark). This helped a lot. I became emmersed in a world I wanted to know more about. She gave me little troll figures from Denmark and books on Faeries. After that, things got easier. The bad stopped a lot. But I always felt that it would be waiting, and always there. Tonight it was. And that's why I am writing this thread. Because I was scared and I needed to tell someone and I needed to distract myself. I am just so afraid again.
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Re: I am scared and traumatized

Postby WildFlower93 » Sat Jul 08, 2017 3:45 am

I know how you feel, I too have been haunted by evil presences. Whether they are real or products of my mind I don't really know but what I do know is taking anti-anxiety medication has severely lessened the haunting and terror.
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Re: I am scared and traumatized

Postby planewalker » Sat Jul 08, 2017 9:14 am

I will PM you both directly during the day. It is light out as I write this. If you are not resting yet, let sunlight into a room where the being has not been seen much if at all. Living room, TV room, something like that. I know how to fight the darkness, Your not feeling the black. Your feeling the dark. The darkness behind the stars. The Void that seems deeper than eternity. I've been there. It's scary as HE!!. I wouldn't let it take me. We're not letting it get you either! Get as comfortable as you can. Out loud, call on the deity or deities you believe will protect you. Ask their protection and for their comforting embrace. State OUT LOUD and as FORCEFULLY as you can that whatever being is plaguing you has no power in the light and it MUST leave you alone. TELL IT IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that you are taking back your life. Turn your fear into anger that it is robbing you of your well being and peace of mind. Let your anger burn hot! Use that anger to fill yourself with the intent that you WILL take your LIFE back. Rest. Try to sleep in the embrace of the protection of the light and your deities protection. Rest is what you need right now. Get a few hours of peaceful rest. In a few hours, things will look clearer and we can proceed one step at a time to take your lives back. It has slowly waged a war of nerves to drive you into a state of mental paralysis. WE ARE DECLARING WAR RIGHT BACK!!! WE ARE TAKING YOUR LIVES BACK!!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!Start by taking some sleep back. Things will start to look better after that. It has been robbing you of your well being at little at a time. We are taking it back. BULLIES TICK ME RIGHT OFF! IT IS TIME TO TAKE YOUR LIVES BACK! YOU'RE NO LONGER ALONE!
PM me if you need to. I'll check my PM's during the day. For now get what rest you can.
Be a Bandage on a Suffering and B!eeding World.
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Re: I am scared and traumatized

Postby RyukaAscendant » Sat Jul 08, 2017 11:33 pm

I've had similar experiences, not the same mind you. Personally I've created a spell to keep thing out of my room at night, it's pretty simple;

By the star I hang tonight,
Mother goddess protect your children with your light.
Hold us close and hold us tight,
Let us not know fear this night.
Bring us safely to the day
And let none upon us pray.

I do this regularly when hanging my pentacle at night and even works in most tents.
Child of Gaia; student of Athena, Odin, and Djehuty; and follower of the middle path.

Moderation in all things, including moderation.
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Re: I am scared and traumatized

Postby Wendy » Sun Jul 09, 2017 5:40 pm

Thank you all for your replies. I have responded to planewalker via PM.

Last night was much better, though I didn't have the best rest again. I think I was just too tired. Thank you for sharing that spell you created, Ryuka! I like it. :)

It helps when my cat is in my room, which she wasn't when I made this thread. She comforts me in the dark.
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Re: I am scared and traumatized

Postby planewalker » Sun Jul 09, 2017 9:42 pm

Wendy, Sleep well and the light will be with you in your brave heart. If I can help you let me know.
Be a Bandage on a Suffering and B!eeding World.
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Re: I am scared and traumatized

Postby Wendy » Mon Jul 10, 2017 12:07 am

planewalker wrote:Wendy, Sleep well and the light will be with you in your brave heart. If I can help you let me know.


Thanks again. :)
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