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Religion arguments

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Religion arguments

Postby defuseability » Thu May 13, 2010 10:56 pm

My sister and her husband got married about a year and a half ago, before even conceiving, they agreed that thier children will be religion neutral until they're old enough to decide for themselves. My sister is a very devout christian, my brother in law tells my sister he is an atheist because when he told her he was Wiccan she threatened to divorce him, because "I dont want to spend my earth life with somebody I can't spend eternity with in Heaven." So, now that he says he's an Atheist, she feels he has a chance of her "saving" him.

Four months ago, they had a baby boy, Robert. Now, My sister wants to bring robby to church every sunday, put him in Christian school, and bring him to Church Camp, when he's old enough. My brother in law is abolutely infuriated by this, because she's trying to beat her beliefs into the child's head, He told her that for now she can drag him to church all she wants, but the second he says I dont want to anymore, than its over, end of discussion. She, however, agreed with him to his face, then when he lft turned to me and was like "He's going to church with me as long as I want, he will be a christian."

Does anyone have any advice on how to try and convince my sister to let Robby choose?
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Postby Y0m » Thu May 13, 2010 11:02 pm

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Postby WitchyLady506 » Fri May 14, 2010 9:45 pm

you should tell her that lying is a sin no matter for what reason, especially to her husband. I would personally turn around and use the bible on her and that whole, you're suppose to be a good Christian wife and do what your husband tells you, but that's just me. Frankly, her trying to make the child a Christian is probably going to ruin her marriage, which you should tell her. He also needs to be honest with her about his beliefs. Frankly, if she forces the boy to go to church, the only thing that is going to happen is the boy rebelling especially if his father is of another faith, cause he's going to get exposure to multiple faiths whether she likes it or not, unless she tries to completely cut the father out of the boys life. I personally don't see things going well for your sister unless she decides to open her mind a little.

Have you talked to her about your faith?
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Postby defuseability » Mon May 17, 2010 10:41 pm

I agree with you, And I have attempted to talk to her about it, and when i try she says "I don't mind that you're Wiccan, but I don't want dan to be, and Robby definately will not be" And never lets me finish what im saying.
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Postby JBRaven » Mon May 17, 2010 11:32 pm

First it is not your child and there fore it is not your choice how he is brought up. The mother will have to deal with the effects of her teaching.

Also this marriage doesn't sound as if it can last very long because it is now based on a lie. No matter how much you love some one, having to be less than yourself is not good.

What does the father think?
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Postby defuseability » Tue May 18, 2010 12:15 am

I'm not saying it is my choice on how he's raised, I'm trying to help out my brother in law who is infuriated by all this.
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Postby JBRaven » Tue May 18, 2010 1:36 pm

either he needs to stand up or sit down. that is his child also and has every right to have his religious beliefs respected. He has to fight now before there has been so much left unsiad it destroys the marraige.
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Re: Religion arguements

Postby Aine » Wed Jul 14, 2010 7:38 pm

defuseability wrote:My sister and her husband got married about a year and a half ago, before even conceiving, they agreed that thier children will be religion neutral until they're old enough to decide for themselves. My sister is a very devout christian, my brother in law tells my sister he is an atheist because when he told her he was Wiccan she threatened to divorce him, because "I dont want to spend my earth life with somebody I can't spend eternity with in Heaven." So, now that he says he's an Atheist, she feels he has a chance of her "saving" him.

Four months ago, they had a baby boy, Robert. Now, My sister wants to bring robby to church every sunday, put him in Christian school, and bring him to Church Camp, when he's old enough. My brother in law is abolutely infuriated by this, because she's trying to beat her beliefs into the child's head, He told her that for now she can drag him to church all she wants, but the second he says I dont want to anymore, than its over, end of discussion. She, however, agreed with him to his face, then when he lft turned to me and was like "He's going to church with me as long as I want, he will be a christian."

Does anyone have any advice on how to try and convince my sister to let Robby choose?

You don't have to convince your sister, robby is still a baby and this issue won't arise with him for MANY more years, but trust me robby will choose for himself and he will amke that choice very clear when his time comes. Kids have a way of doing that, especially teenagers :)
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Postby vamp1666 » Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:41 am

my personal experiance is that i would let my children decide what they wish to do in life and i would not force my belifes on them my 2 eldest have chose there paths and my youngest still has to grow up ,if your sister forces her belifes she will make the child rebel and usual it is always the wrong way if you could put these feelings into a letter then she cannot cut u dead in conversation if this does not work stand back and be an aunty that is all that you can do but your brother in law also needs to stand up to her he helped to creat the life too :)
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Postby Kent-uk » Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:06 am

It sounds like the lesson is to be honest before marriage and to get to know your partner before committing for life.

If the mother would really get a divorce because of the husbands beliefs then she is not a very good Christian. Considering divorce and not understanding her husband are very bad sins.
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Postby TheBlackDahlia » Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:21 am

John 8:7 "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

It would seem to me your sister isn't acting very Christian, honestly. Judge not lest ye be judged and all.

I feel awfully bad for your brother-in-law, I mean no offense but this woman sounds very rude to me.

I do agree with Aine. It doesn't matter if she makes the kid go to church every day of his life, he's going to make decisions for himself, and it's her choice whether or not to be proud of him for his individuality or make his life Hell because he's not doing what she wants. I think that's the case in a lot of families.
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Postby rcbako » Wed Sep 15, 2010 7:08 am

The good thing is your nephew was raised to a christian family. On the other side it would be a hard thing for Robert to obey all His mother's will. Surely time will come that he will decide for himself.

You can explain to your sister all the positive side of what she is doing right now. In addition you can also open her understanding that her son would soon make his own decision. A decision to follow her or not. And if her son chooses to follow her not, she should not feel bad.
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Postby Traumwandlerin » Wed Sep 15, 2010 10:00 am

This thread is old, but I can't stand it any longer. No one is mad about

my brother in law tells my sister he is an atheist because when he told her he was Wiccan she threatened to divorce him


Cause he is actually lying to his wife for the sake of not getting divorced? This relationship is based on a ly? So whse fault is it anyway? Don't rant only agains her, he has done a lot wrong, too.
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Postby TheBlackDahlia » Wed Sep 15, 2010 10:05 am

Traumwandlerin wrote:Cause he is actually lying to his wife for the sake of not getting divorced? This relationship is based on a ly? So whse fault is it anyway? Don't rant only agains her, he has done a lot wrong, too.


I can see your point and I do agree it's not right to lie, but seriously, how many of us on this board have at one point or another lied about what we believe in favor of keeping the peace with out families? Be that husbands, parents, what have you.

Truth is always best, but the fact remains that in the current society, it's just not so easy to shout what you are from the rooftops. Do I agree with him lying to his wife? Nope, but I can see how it would happen. Love is a very powerful thing, and when you care for someone that you don't want to lose, it would be easy to slip back into a rhythm of hiding. Just my two cents. :oops:
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Postby Traumwandlerin » Wed Sep 15, 2010 12:08 pm

And when you fear of the eternal soul of your beloved child/husband you also act stupid and force your believe upon them. It's all understandable and all wrong. They both are lieing to each other.

It's a difference if you keep your believe to yourself, cause they won't understand but it's just wrong if you won't tell the truth so to not get divorced. That's the same as cheating and not telling your wife cause she would divorce you. It's important to her, one of the things that's essential to her in her relationship.
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