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Recovering PK Christian

Discussion of Christianity and other religious systems. How can we explain our faith to Christians? How can you merge your faith in Jesus with your belief in the metaphysical?

Recovering PK Christian

Postby onyx208 » Fri Aug 28, 2015 1:48 am

H y'all. Apologies in advance if this post is messy. I have so many thoughts to get out

I grew up in a conservative Christian home as a pastor and major theogolian's daughter. My dad has been a Presbyterian pastor all my life and longer. He studied therology in school and went on to get his ordination as well as Master of Divinity and a PhD in theology and culture. His mom is a retired head Presbyterian pastor and his dad is not only a retired pastor but retired Head Presbyter (akin to a bishop) who has started churches from scratch. My dad has published internationally about his faith, is on the board of pensions, and on the board for a national Presbyterian newsletter.

First of all don't get me wrong. I respect Christianity and even more so I respect how deeply rooted my father is in his own faith. But my upbringing has made exploring my spirituality not only difficult, but a path full of fear.

I still belive in Christ the creator. But I also revere and have a relationship with Epona. Additionally, I do not believe in the bible. While I resonate with the fact (or what I percieve as fact anyways) that Jesus came to show his love, I have no trust in what I see to be a masculine account of using fear tactics to control women and all society...aka the bible as we know it.

The thing is.. Despite knowing what I believe, I'm not only afraid of my parents ever finding out, that fear so ingrained in me of going to hell still lingers, popping up every now and then.

I feel strongly connected with Epona but seemingly out of no where I freeze up and panic. It's hard for me being so intuitive yet having struggled with anxiety my whole life to know what is my gut instinct and what is simply fear.

I was thinking one thing to try would be casting a circle and calling upon both Epona and Christ's presence. I've always called on them separately. I would just want to observe them together to be put at ease about my fear that they do not approve of each other. If it's helping me know my path, I can't imagine them not getting along just because Christianity says that God is the only way.

Do you have any resources on pagan/wiccans who incorporate Jesus in their work?

Do you know of any chants that can focus my energy on dispelling fear?

Any other ideas at all? I feel like I'm trapping myself from growth by buying into what I was taught that simply doesn't work with me.

Thank you for reading all this!

Onyx
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Re: Recovering PK Christian

Postby Kassandra » Sun Aug 30, 2015 1:32 pm

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Recovery from the Christian Guilt Complex

Hey onyx208. I had to look up "PK Christian," as I don't remember ever hearing that term before, learned somethin' new, haha. I think your Christian guilt (fear of eternal damnation, etc.) will just naturally subside over time, I really do. As the joyful, quality experiences increase in your life as a pagan increase, the other will fall away. Sounds like you've had decades of "programming" growing up, and quite honestly, it may just take as long to fully deprogram from it, as well. I'm not saying it has to take that long, I'm just saying it may be a good idea to give yourself as much time as you may need (even if it's years), be patient and kind to yourself.

I think it really is like deprogramming from a cult, and all the psychological twists and turns that involves, seriously. There are actually Christian "recovery" groups out there, no joke (Google it and see). Countless people have discovered that trying to free oneself from years and years of religious, guilt-based, fear-invoking brainwashing can be as volatile a process as actually trying to recover from drugs and/or alcohol addiction! While the biological alterations and damages aren't there with regard to Christian brainwashing that are a part of drug/alcohol addiction, the psychological and emotional damages may be there. Some people get suicidal when they are estranged and socially-isolated from the "fold," as it were. It can be quite traumatizing.


Spiritual Self-Identity and Fellowship

As you may have noticed, the paradigm of "Christian witch" tends to be a controversial one, one that illicits strong reactions from people of very different religious perspectives: witches don't like the term, Christians definitely don't like the term, others just get confused, haha. I get the sense you don't let the static get under your skin, as you have already learned what it's like identifying yourself with a different gender. You seemed to have gotten through that with a smile (for the most part, maybe?), you'll get through this as well. But, I know you are looking for company on a lonely path, and that's why you're asking questions. Personally, I think you have a right to identify yourself any way you choose if it's not harming anyone, and it's basically no one's business. If Christian witch is how you identify, so be it. :wink:



Thoughts on Christian Witchcraft Practices

As far as Christian witch practices, I hope you find some good ideas in the forum here named that (in which this post is located, lol). It's not a very big forum, but you may get some good ideas, and at least see that others identify with you, that there are kindred souls out there. And there are also a lot of books on this subject on online sites like Amazon, so try to buy a few if you can so you'll get insights, perspectives and fun ideas for practice.


I have a few thoughts about Christian witchcraft that I 'd like to share, and will write them out as soon as I can. Have to go now.

Be well. :wave:




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