Hello! I am a 14 year old, aspiring witch. Been studying for about two years now. I work by myself, I've never joined a coven and I've never worked with magick in a group. I'm still unwary about doing spells. Currently I'm focusing on the moon phases, meditation, and finding my power animal.
The reason why I'm trying to learn to mediate and center myself is because I have often found myself to be EXTREMELY unfocused. I usually lose track of what I'm doing. I can't focus during class sometimes. This shows in my grades as well, usually I do fairly well in school except for in classes I don't like as much... like history (starting to think I should have taken world geography >_>;) I often dose, in the most inconvenient of times. I'll find myself trying to remember something someone said to me but will be unable to. Even if they were talking directly to me.
I'm also narcoleptic. I used to think it was insomnia; but some online research allowed me to diagnose, and prove, myself wrong. I suffer from sleep paralysis, I often have incredibly frightening, vivid dreams. I can be exhausted for no apparent reason I also have a tendency to want to stay up late in the night (I've always thought the days should be longer... or at least the night, more time to sleep) which is what led me to think, "INSOMNIA!" this is also where my username comes from. I decided to keep it since "Embracing_Narcolepsy" just looks retarded... anyways
The meditation has been helping me quite a lot, especially recently. I suppose a good example of something recent (actually, yesterday) is that I have been searching for something I saw on one of those weird video game shows... heck,
I don't even remember what it was called. For some reason, something in one of the scenes of the game caught my eye.
Since I, naturally, don't pay attention to things; before yesterday I had absolutely no clue as to what the name of the game this particular scene might have been... I guess I shouldn't say absolutely. The answer was hidden somewhere... deep within the recesses of my mind. Yesterday, after meditating at my altar for a few minutes, I had a sudden epiphany. I was going to do a google search for Rule of Rose. And what do I find? Exactly what I've been looking for since 2006 =_=;
Actually, I think I got the name of the game mixed up with some sort of Stephen King movie called Rose Red or something, which may actually be why I never thought of searching for the name before. Honestly, I don't think it had anything to do with meditation at all. Just a sudden lack of ignorance.
I got really off topic there, so back to me introducing myself. I've been studying Wicca in secret for about two years. I say "in secret" because I come from a family of true Christians. On my dad's side, full blood Germans. The majority of them live in California. Wouldn't be wise to say their name on here... not that I don't trust you guys. Just saying. I'm sure several of them (especially my great grandmother, she's head of the family. Kind of, that's just how I view it) would probably think I were insane. On my mother's side, Cherokee indians, french, and Irish. I'm very mixed, as you can see. I don't know many form my mom's side of the family. Not all of them are good people.. but they're very christian.
Don't get me wrong, I have no resentment at all for Christians in general. I only have problems with a certain Christian on my dad's side... I don't hate the fact that she's Christian. I hate how she uses it as leverage over people. She has most of the family buying into her shit. I love how they will go to church and have everyone buy into their innocent act. For example: A drunk pops a pill before taking a swig of whiskey then proceeds to drive her 11 year old grand daughter to church and then rant about how awful people are.
Personal matters aside, as you can see I have plenty of reason to despise the family for their hypocrisy. But I know that there are truly good people out there who don't put on an act for people at church and in public. The thing is, how other people view you won't matter when your spirit becomes tainted.
Please, if you think my views on Christianity are wrong or hypocritical please do. Because I will probably agree with you. I'm not trying to please everyone. I'm also not trying to be an ass-kisser, just letting you know.
But don't think I switched to Wicca to escape Christianity, I did it for myself. I always knew that the Christian life wasn't for me. I didn't agree with a lot of things in Christianity. For one, the part in the very beginning of the bible. The part that degrades women... and puts men at the very top of the totem pole. If Adam wanted to eat the damn apple, then so be it. It's not like he didn't have his own free will. He could have just been like, "No dammit, I said I don't want the freaking apple >:/" But of course it's always the woman's fault....
Another thing. Blasphemy. This is the one topic that has always driven me insane. Why is there an unforgivable sin? Will committing this "sin" automatically damn me to the pits of hell? How do I know if I have sinned this sin... What IS blasphemy? I'm I blaspheming the holy ghost right now? Is Wicca blasphemy?
Who cares.
I have left that part of my life behind. There's no going back now. If I'm going to hell then so be it. I am on the path that I want to be on. And no Christian is going to stop me from pursuing my dream.
For any of you poor sods who is actually going to read through this entire thing, I apologize for my ramblings. I basically just gave you quite a bit of my life story (quite a short life so far, only 14 years xD) I hope I haven't offended anyone... Just kidding. This is my point of view. If you don't like it, maybe you shouldn't be here... By the way, most of the people who know me on the internet call me Ree. I know Embracing_Insomnia is quite long so I am shortening it for you.
☆.•*´¨`*••♥Reesephone♥••*´¨`*•.☆•
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There's nothing wrong with it. 
Can be inconvenient though. It's happened to me many times. :p It did lead to some very interesting dreams though. 
