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In need of some love advice/a rant

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In need of some love advice/a rant

Postby Newbiewitch94 » Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:48 pm

Merry meet all
How do you go about meeting new people when it seems like you fit in nowhere? It doesn't help that every time I find a guy on paper who'd be perfect for me ie, fit my check list, they are either straight, live far away, or have problems/issues. As an empath, it's blooming annoying. I must admit I see my friends happily settled down in relationships, and then there's me. Yeah, the craft makes me happy, but it doesn't keep me warm at night. Sorry, I'm just in need of a rant. It feels like since I came out of a relationship with an abusive ex, he gets loads of guys interested in him, while I get none interested in me, that I am also interested in. It almost feels like being punished for something by the universe. Can anyone else relate? I can't even make male friends without putting a few walls up even to those that I do get close to.
Thanks for any advice and blessed be.
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Re: In need of some love advice/a rant

Postby T'a Nuk » Wed Dec 06, 2017 5:30 pm

The best way to find that person with whom a relationship would be a healthy benefit to both of your lives is to simply STOP LOOKING.

1) Live a mindful life and pay attention with your focus on each minute and all the signs and lessons each minute provides...

2) Send your wish for a relationship out to the universe, and cut it loose, let the cosmos work it's amazing balancing act...


3) Focus on your health, physical, mental, and spiritual. Make diet and exercise a priority. You will feel great, and that is outwardly visible and appealing. Meditate when you can and practice your craft with love and intent...

4) Have faith, the energy you project has an attractive power and will bring into view that which you seek...

Desperate hope and frantic searching will only raise anxiety and run into lots of dead ends, leading to discouragement. It is good to want a relationship, and it will happen when you least expect it. Statistically there are somewhere near 250 'perfect' matches for each of us. Your interests and habits will attract that person when the time is right, keep hanging on!
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Re: In need of some love advice/a rant

Postby SnowCat » Wed Dec 06, 2017 8:22 pm

I think T'a Nuk is offering some very good advice. Being single can be lonely. Being in an abusive relationship is worse. Someone will enter your life, who is worthy of you.

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Re: In need of some love advice/a rant

Postby Newbiewitch94 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 1:15 am

Thank you both.
Yes, I will focus on myself some more than others I put other people way before myself too much (why I consider being a empath a curse). I will try some of these suggestions.
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Re: In need of some love advice/a rant

Postby Newbiewitch94 » Wed Dec 20, 2017 8:33 am

At this point I give up
The universe won't give me what I want as once again they sent me a guy who's perfect but he's straight. At this point it honestly feels like the universe is trolling me, not to sound immature but I hate how the universe seems to be giving everyone but me the thing I want more than anything.
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Re: In need of some love advice/a rant

Postby firebirdflys » Wed Dec 20, 2017 12:53 pm

Not to sound snobish, but how old are you? You never know when the right one will roll along ...and you don't want to rush into something you would have wished you waited for when the right one does rolls along. The universe move slowly at times, be patient with her.
Also if you had been in an abusive relationship, chances are you may step into another unless you know the signs beforehand. I urge you to seek counsel in that area. Learn to be ok with yourself as a single person. If others see this shining being, they will want to meet you.
I wish you the very best in your journey.
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Re: In need of some love advice/a rant

Postby T'a Nuk » Wed Dec 20, 2017 1:11 pm

Giving up is really no longer an option for you. You have already set the wheels into motion. Your life is a blink in the universe and a good recipe takes time and care to work. Firebird is right. Don't be so impatient as to rush into a less than good relationship just to have someone, that is a waste of life. Consider these facts,

-Someone whom you have never actually met is in love with you,

-You are the last thought in someone's mind before they fall asleep,

-Someone is thinking of you RIGHT NOW,

-Someone who loves you is too timid to approach you,

-Your future partner is feeling exactly as you do now.

These are FACTS and not affected by personal belief. Remember that you do not live in a bubble, and that you must participate in the bigger picture as a blessing and example to others. You have a loving heart waiting to soar, let it soar! Do not impose time frames and expectations on the cosmos. You will receive your gift when you are ready, not before, and never too late. keep hope and feel the anticipation for the love that will soon be yours, for the time when you are filled with such love and happiness that these sad feelings will become scarcely a memory. Stay in the light, keep moving, and keep breathing!
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Re: In need of some love advice/a rant

Postby planewalker » Wed Dec 20, 2017 8:28 pm

I've been watching the advice and as the unofficial psychologist of EUTM, I must say it's been excellent. I've also got to go along with the observation that your shooting yourself in the foot as far as relationships go. Desperate is not terribly attractive. It will attract other abusers. They'll see you coming from a mile away. They'll be licken' their chops - "Oh Boy ! Just got to be nice, be attentive and supportive for a few weeks and, I'VE GOT MY NEXT VICTI,....ER, AH ..I mean partner.". You went from the 7th until the 20th before panic set in that you weren't finding anyone and so your looking for justification to block your empathy {which could be an asset in finding someone} so you won't recognize an abuser.

Take a close look at ALL the relationships you've been in! What are they like? Seeing any commonalities. Next look at your life apart from dating. Go with whatever things you see about you that you want to change about yourself or in your life. It can be anything - "I want to learn to juggle!", I'm thinking that's not going to be on the list. The most mundane - "I need to reorganize my kitchen cabinets." It can be scholarly - "I'm going to learn Chinese so my order from the take-out place will be right." That's your starting point.

Now the part that everybody thinks is silly as he!! until they try it and it works. When you get up in the morning, take a few minutes and do positive affirmations. Out load say the things you find to be positive about yourself. "I woke up alive." Basic, possibly redundant, since you need to be alive to say your alive, but it works. "I'm energized today!" Do a few of them just to center you on self. Some people get the,"I shouldn't be centering my thoughts on myself." thing going on. If you can build a happier, better balanced you, everyone will benefit.

Now it's time to get serious : afformations. Yup! Look close. Only one letter different. Big difference in how they work. Affirmations are you feeling good about what's already going on. Sort of a count your blessings thing. Now afformations, they work a different way. Now we're going to involve your sub-concious mind. We exercised your Frontal Lobe and Parietal Lobe. Now we're aiming direct at your Temporal Lobe and Wernick's Area. You're handling statements fine so now, we're going to ask questions of ourselves. You've been doing questioning and IT'S BEEN THE WRONG KIND !!! "Why can't I find somebody?" You've been sabotaging yourself with negative questions. You need to enlist this funny little monkey brain nature has supplied us with. Look at how it works when it's just relaxed and running in neutral, so to speak. Pleasant summer day and you look up and see clouds floating across the sky. How long until your seeing a castle there and an elephant somewhere else. The most effective ad's are the ones that get you to look for incongruities or puzzles. The human brain wants to look for answers. That's why riddles are popular, even engrossing. How often have you wondered how something works and found a strange satisfaction if you find out. If it was interesting enough you might have sought out the answer. We don't have Atlas', Dictionaries, Encyclopedias and other reference works because people like to write. We have them because people question. People can fixate and pursue a question. You need to ask empowering questions. Why am I a good person, smart person, kind person and on and so forth. Your brain is going to look for answers and in the process improvre it's self and the you that you put out in the world. That's the first thing that people notice when they first get interested in each other. You don't start a conversation with -"I leave wet towels on the floor when I'm done showering. " You've used body language for this one. Your looking spiffy, even if there are wet towels on the floor at home. DON'T do "Why am I lonely? Say {out load so your brain can hear yourself} How can I go about 1) looking for someone?, 2) being noticeable in a positive light?, 3) being involved in things that attract positive people? Your crazy monkey brain is going to hear that and answer the challenge. It's going to be working in the right direction now. Remember, be careful of the questions you ask. Only things that set you in a positive direction. When you've internalized affirmations and afformations you can us them as a building set. Building on the positives you already have. "I'm energized today! Why am I energized today?" You are now adding positive reinforcement to your repertoire of activities. It's because your eating right, getting enough sleep, exorcising and what have you. It will work for you as long as you believe in what your saying. You've got to put your heart into it. It will take a while to pick up momentum and become a habit. That's why I suggest taking the two weeks just like the last two and instead of wondering if someone might notice you and like you and you noticed them and liked them and things worked right and..... STOP THAT NONPRODUCTIVE CRAP !!!! You've done it before. It didn't work then and it won't work now. CHANGE - one of the hardest but most worthwhile things you'll ever do. Stick with it. Don't undercut yourself. Make yourself into someone you'd be happy to be in a relationship with. By doing that your cementing your core beliefs and worth. No more screwed up, abusive relationships. If you think all your good for or the only way you can attract someone is by being there to be used and abused, that's just what you'll get. You don't have to sell out to defend yourself. You don't have to scream back at someone who's a verbal abuser. Screaming is what they do, it's their game. Don't play it. Sometimes there is nothing as loud as a whisper.

Last - places to find someone. Think of all the places you go now. MARK THEM OUT OF BOUNDS for looking for dating material. Look in places you don't go now. A winter bowling league. You don't bowl - learn. Being someone needing help learning something new will attract the right kind of attention. Not very physical. My 85 year Mom is in a bowling league. They us one of those machines that take quarters. It's at a KOC. You don't go to church. DUH ! Churches have food pantries and lunch programs, they are often run by a Co-operative Extension that just uses donated space, not the church. At least in up-state NY. Don't know about your area. It's a local resource. If it's like the ones around here, they don't care if your an ill tempered Martian who scratches himself. You can shuffle food, your in. You have a car and you'll do deliveries for meals on wheels we'll pay your gas to meet older folks who have lots of grand whatever's who need dates. And their's some who will ask. Most old folks are not embarrassed by anything. We were growing up in the 60's and 70's. I'm happy to be part of a generation that had the motto - "Sex, Drugs and Rock-n-Roll". Of course the order could be
changed to fit the number of people, the music being listened to and the controlled substances involved. You get the idea. Being on food, what about cooking classes. Swimming lesson at the Y. A chess club that meets at the public library. Depending on the activity up to half the people are looking for dates. Look for different things that draw other people and just go and mingle.

I hope this helps and you find that someone who is just right.
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Re: In need of some love advice/a rant

Postby Newbiewitch94 » Fri Feb 23, 2018 1:50 am

OK so update
So lately I've been having visions of a guy and my friend has had the same vision and apparently he's the guy I'm meant to be with yet they won't give me a bloody idea of she I meet him.
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Re: In need of some love advice/a rant

Postby Bluerose31 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 12:47 pm

My fiance is also my best friend. He is the love of my life. I will pray that you find the right man for you. I can tell you are a beautiful soul.
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Re: In need of some love advice/a rant

Postby barker » Sun Mar 11, 2018 9:47 pm

You could do the astral journey for it. I did this it worked out quite good, the girl was a total herione. My advice to love, seek and find... but make sure you mean it.
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Re: In need of some love advice/a rant

Postby SpiritTalker » Tue Mar 13, 2018 8:05 pm

Newbiewitch94 wrote:OK so update
So lately I've been having visions of a guy and my friend has had the same vision and apparently he's the guy im meant to be with yet they wont give me a bloody idea of (when) i meet him.



Maybe you aren't supposed to know but just trust the system as A means of cause & effect.
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Re: In need of some love advice/a rant

Postby Newbiewitch94 » Sat Mar 31, 2018 1:05 am

Well I've decided since obviously not meant to have him anytime soon i don't want him ever id be sooner be alone forever than let someone else decide when i get what i want
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