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How did a relationship wish turn around so quickly??

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How did a relationship wish turn around so quickly??

Postby jazzwest » Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:41 am

I've had my Love Wanga Doll for some time and was talking to it pretty much everyday. I never asked for someone to love me, I simply asked that I be given a chance to find that "right" person to love me for who I am.


This thread is about one particular girl who will leave me puzzled for a very long time.

About 2 weeks ago, I was in a club with some mates having fun and hitting on girls. As we were leaving I ended up hooking up with a random girl. I thought it'd end up as a one night stand (which it didn't), but she was different as she actually liked me as a person and wanted to get to know me better.

For the past 2 weeks we've never missed a single day without talking to each other, and she was very open with her feelings towards me and it was very obvious that she liked me alot. She always looked forward to seeing me and everytime we did meet up, we'd make out, hold hands etc. as if we were already in a relationship.
We had so many things in common even I couldn't believe a girl like that would come around so easily for me.
I had completely stopped my night life because I felt she deserved my commitment, and I thought I had finally found someone I could be happy with.

I really didn't want to lose this girl badly so I had considered casting a love spell or speaking to my Wanga Doll again, as I thought it would simply just strengthen the feelings that "she already has" for me.
I decided to stay away from all that completely because I felt that the affection wouldn't be satisfying anymore if I didn't know whether it was genuine or divine intervention. (wasn't that the right thing to do?)


Here's where the problem starts:

I took the day off today to spend the whole day with her. We kissed, held hands the whole day and just behaved the same way we did before.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, towards the end of the day, she stopped holding my hand, and told me she's "confused". So we sat down for a cup of coffee and she told me that she can't get over her ex-boyfriend and may still have feelings for him, and then she told me she just wants us to be "friends" from now on. Prior to that, we had also made plans to go skiing and traveling together. (guess that won't be happening anymore)
What troubles me a lot is how SUDDEN and unexplainable that happened on a wonderful day, without any warning or signs.


I'm a decent guy and have qualities that should be sufficient to most girls (sportscar, money, ambitious, good career, genuine, caring, very sociable).
I almost feel as if I've got a "curse" on me simply because I can never be with someone as I will always somehow be played out at the end. This is not the first time something like this has happened and I feel like I'm really losing my ability to Like/Love someone again because I'm just so sick of it.



I apologize for my ridiculously long story. I just don't know who to turn to, and I know some of you do care. Thanks again for always being there.
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Re: How did a relationship wish turn around so quickly??

Postby firebirdflys » Fri Jun 28, 2013 10:21 am

Who's to say...it could be anything. Try not to take it personally...you also did the right thing by not manipulating her will. Keep speaking to the dolls, and maybe attach notes to it describing the kind of woman you would like to attract...you know... the painted nail sort or someone more down to earth, I would focus on someone who is similar in your tastes, I have found that even though opposites attract ...they also repel.
Can I ask your age?...I know when I was younger I thought I would never find anyone and I was getting rather desperate to get married, well...I wish I had the foresight at that time, because I likely would have waited. However I am also so blessed to have a healthy beautiful child, albeit at a rather early age.
Please don't be discouraged...there are sooooooo many fish in the sea, and If you are looking for the long run, it may take time...and you want to be sure, right?
many blessings, Firebird
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Re: How did a relationship wish turn around so quickly??

Postby DPhoenix » Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:38 am

jazzwest wrote:I'm a decent guy and have qualities that should be sufficient to most girls (sportscar, money, ambitious, good career, genuine, caring, very sociable).
I almost feel as if I've got a "curse" on me simply because I can never be with someone as I will always somehow be played out at the end. This is not the first time something like this has happened and I feel like I'm really losing my ability to Like/Love someone again because I'm just so sick of it.


I believe the above statement is the key. Until you change your belief that you have a curse and no one will stay with you, that will be the reality you create. You need to change your beliefs that women only want you for what you have. You need to believe that you are a beautiful person worthy of love and devotion. You need to believe that even if you didn't have the things you listed, that there is a woman out there who can love you for who you are. Until you're able to do this no amount of magic is going to work for the long haul because your subconscious beliefs are going to self sabotage the magic you make regarding love.

If you're truly looking for 'the one' I suggest the following
1.) Sit down and write out the qualities you want in a woman (not talking superficial qualities like appearance & possessions, talking more about character traits)
2.) Evaluate the person you described and try to imagine where she would hang out (ex. Does she have a caring heart? if so she probably volunteers. Is she wiccan/spiritual? If so start hanging out at local new age shops. Is she cultured? If so start hanging out at museums and art galleries.)
3.) Decide the kind of man she will need and start striving to become that person (again talking character traits not possessions, for example: Is she independent? Then she'll need her space and you can't smother her. Is she soft spoken? If so then you will need to speak softly to her and refrain from yelling.)
4.) Begin to frequent the places that your woman would frequent, cast spells to find love and wait for the universe to do the rest.

Remember, when doing spells the more specific you can be the more likely you will get what you want. Meditate & visualize on your dream woman (again, more focus on character traits then appearance). Visualize meeting her, visualize a long happy life together.

It could be the 'right' woman for you doesn't exactly look like the person you have in mind. You may need to date people that your not initially attracted to at first and see where it leads. Keep in mind you may need to date many women to get where you want to be, I know you're in a hurry to find love but really take your time and get to know these women before jumping in too fast. Rushing things is only going to break your heart and ultimately make it harder to love again.

One last thing, don't make the mistake a lot of people do, they mistake lust for love. There is a huge difference between the two and is usually the defining factor as to whether a relationship can last the test of time.

Anyway I hope that helps. It took me a long time to find my significant other but it was worth all the toads I had to kiss to find my prince. I wish the same for you!

Good luck & Goddess Bless! <3
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Re: How did a relationship wish turn around so quickly??

Postby jazzwest » Fri Jun 28, 2013 4:50 pm

firebirdflys wrote:Can I ask your age?...

I'm turning 21 in October.
I know this sounds stupid that I'm making such a big deal out of it, but I've been through a lot in my life (partially broken family, being left alone, verbally harrassed, suicide attempts etc..) , so I'd consider myself emotionally unstable to a certain extend. Hence, I don't handle certain things very well.

DPhoenix wrote:I believe the above statement is the key. Until you change your belief that you have a curse and no one will stay with you, that will be the reality you create. You need to change your beliefs that women only want you for what you have. You need to believe that you are a beautiful person worthy of love and devotion. You need to believe that even if you didn't have the things you listed, that there is a woman out there who can love you for who you are. Until you're able to do this no amount of magic is going to work for the long haul because your subconscious beliefs are going to self sabotage the magic you make regarding love.

That's a good point, but it's so much easier said than done. I'm unfortunately a "see to believe" sort of person, so until I can see it happening, I can't get myself to change that easily.

DPhoenix wrote:One last thing, don't make the mistake a lot of people do, they mistake lust for love. There is a huge difference between the two and is usually the defining factor as to whether a relationship can last the test of time.

That was one of the things that was different about her, she didn't want that and that personally made me think she had good values. We never slept together, and for once, lust was completely irrelevant as I was attracted to her for who she was as a person(she felt the same way previously as well).


The thing is, I never just sat at home and wished for miracles, I did make a serious effort into improving my chances. I knew the number of girls I could meet was very limited so I did social classes, pickup classes and seminars to build on my confidence to approach anyone. I started hanging out with "experts" on a weekly basis (though they aren't the best influence) and for the past couple of months I've been dating a different girl every week to a point I've lost count (solely for lust and no affection), simply because it helped fill a void in me and it made me happy at that time.
That's not what I really want though, I'm not like those guys.
The more I did this, the more I lost value in relationships and feelings for anyone, and I'm exhausted from it.

However, on a very rare occasion that I do end up with someone special (such as this case), I've always been willing to commit to that person. And each time I open myself to "feel" for that person, it always turns out ugly and hurts me badly. Hence, I'm losing faith in myself.

So at this moment, I guess my only option is to go back to the way I was? It's the only way to help me get over her.


I understand that most of the members here are females so it might be hard to relate to me, and I apologize for that.
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Re: How did a relationship wish turn around so quickly??

Postby MsMollimizz » Sat Jun 29, 2013 4:37 pm

Looking for someone special ?
You won't find her in a bar; try the library, the park, some gals will even look
for Mr Right in grocery stores-why else would they get dressed up for the store ?
You are gong to need to start talking to them so build your subject knowledge.
It's funny tho that these things don't happen when we want, don't give up.
Stop trying so hard, that's when it happens, when we least expect it !
Happy hunting !
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Re: How did a relationship wish turn around so quickly??

Postby -Dark-Moon- » Sun Jun 30, 2013 6:45 pm

Get over her? You dated for 2 weeks.

Your hurt feelings are from the fact that you have lost faith or confidence in yourself. This is about feeling rejected and inadequate. It's about your lack of faith, not her. What's to stop you meeting someone else next week?

You're 21, obviously articulate, sensitive and genuine, and from a good family, and sensible by the sounds of things. You will definitely find someone when the time is right. 21 is so young, don't rush this. Finding the right person to be with long term is an important decision, and its not necessarily a bad thing not to get caught up with the first girl who shows you any attention in a night club. This position will make you vulnerable. Go for people who you admire, for their personal qualities, not just because they are willing to fall into bed with you, (hmmm, is that really a great quality?)

I am not worried about you. Nice guys such as yourself really do meet lovely girls and settle down in the end. It's the bastards that end up alone and miserable.

Besides, women are notorious for changing their minds. Set boundaries and be cool about them. Realise this could be a dumb test (young girls play games sometimes to test your feelings early on). If she is being honest, that's a good thing, at least she is telling you before you are more involved and the hurt is worse.

Be confident. You're in the prime of your life and have only just begun the long long journey of manhood on this earth.

You must have strength to weather these little skirmishes of the heart. Focus on working through your feelings of inadequacy and your fear of being alone. Look at the bigger picture. An eagle is a good totem to tune into for this. She may be just a ship passing in the night.

Make an offering to the sun god.

If you want to, give her the wanga doll as a present.

Before you can love another, you need to love yourself. Warts and all.
I am that which is attained at the end of desire
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Re: How did a relationship wish turn around so quickly??

Postby -Dark-Moon- » Sun Jun 30, 2013 6:47 pm

Ps. She won't leave you puzzled for that long
I am that which is attained at the end of desire
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Re: How did a relationship wish turn around so quickly??

Postby jazzwest » Mon Jul 01, 2013 9:06 am

Thank you so much for all the deep words. Even repeating those phrases mentioned here in my head is already making me feel better.
I will cherish the advice given here, and hopefully change my outlook on myself.


In the meantime, would constantly talking to my Wanga Doll every night be beneficial in any way?
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Re: How did a relationship wish turn around so quickly??

Postby DPhoenix » Wed Jul 03, 2013 2:21 am

jazzwest wrote:Thank you so much for all the deep words. Even repeating those phrases mentioned here in my head is already making me feel better.
I will cherish the advice given here, and hopefully change my outlook on myself.


In the meantime, would constantly talking to my Wanga Doll every night be beneficial in any way?


If you're willing to do this I have an exercise for you. It's from a self help guru Louisa Hayes (I highly recommend her books & videos). The exercise is to:

1.) Get an index card or post-it note
2.) Write "I love and accept myself unconditionally right now"
3.) Tape it to the bathroom (or bedroom mirror)
4.) For the next 90 days, stare into your own eyes through the mirror and recite it 5 times/2 times a day. (Good times are when you wake up and when you go to sleep)


If you actually do this I promise you that you will change your life in a way you never have before.
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Re: How did a relationship wish turn around so quickly??

Postby jazzwest » Thu Jul 18, 2013 11:37 am

Alright. Will make an effort to do so. Thank you
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