I actually found this post through a Google site search for "rue". I'm going through all the spells on my site that call for rue and making a note on the page that rue is known to be an abortifacient (able to induce miscarriage).
I'm glad this thread is here. I've been thinking about adding herbal abortion information to the site for a while. Although it can be dangerous, even deadly (I guess) to take herbs to induce a miscarriage, I realize that for some women in the world, death is better than pregnancy for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that in some places (mostly Muslim countries, I'd say) a women can be stoned to death or otherwise beaten or killed if she is found to be pregnant outside of marriage, even if she was raped. They don't care if she got pregnant against her will by her own uncle. They'll punish or kill her anyway. So as my personal way of saying "F*ck you assholes" to men who treat women that way, I want to be sure that women have alternative options available to them.
As for abortion, I'm glad that so many of the members here were supportive of this member who needed help and most of you didn't take the opportunity to lecture her. I really wouldn't have expected to see many pro-lifers on a pagan board, but you never know. People, especially young people who have never had children, can be very judgmental about these kinds of things. I've heard that the majority of young women these days are actually anti-abortion. It's sad, especially after all that the feminists have done to insure that women have the choice to make their own reproductive decisions.
I had an abortion at age 17. My boyfriend at the time was 23 and I had been with him for over a year when I got pregnant. My best friend actually got pregnant at around the same time. She had an abortion a few weeks before me, so when I found out I was pregnant too, it wasn't too difficult for me to decide that I should have one too. My boyfriend had become increasingly abusive towards me during our relationship, even threatening to kill me, plus he was addicted to crack-cocaine and would go on binges every few months. It was not an ideal situation to raise a child in, that's for sure. It was only 7 months later that the father of my would-be baby was arrested and imprisoned for murder. He's been in prison ever since (and could quite possibly be released this Spring.)
I can't tell you how glad I am that I didn't have a baby with this man. It's bad enough that I have to worry about him coming around when he gets out of prison, but if I had had his baby, I wouldn't stand a chance. I would have to see him. And he would kill me, I'm certain. I probably wouldn't have lived this long if I had decided to keep the baby.
The abortion was pretty awful. They gave me a single valium and a Darvocet (the weakest narcotic ever produced) and let that sink in for 20 minutes. Then they did the procedure, which was painful. It didn't help that, on the way into the clinic, my boyfriend was whispering in my ear (so Mom couldn't hear) that I was a "whore" and that the baby wasn't even his because I had cheated on him. He was so paranoid and full of himself. Not father material at all. And he had convinced me that we could have unprotected sex as long as I squeezed the semen out afterwards. I actually believed that nonsense! Since he was six years older than me, I figured he must know what he's talking about. Never trust what a man says to you when you're about to have sex with him, especially if it has anything to do with not using protection.
My ex-husband told me he was sterile and couldn't have kids. I had unprotected sex with him (using the pull-out method since I really didn't trust him to be honest with me) for years. Luckily, I didn't get pregnant, but his new wife is currently pregnant with his child, so he is obviously NOT sterile. He also found out that he has a son that he didn't know about. Liar. He just didn't want to use condoms.
When I was in my late teens and twenties, I accompanied two of my girlfriends to the clinic for their abortions. The clinic in the town nearest us was closed down thanks to asshole conservative "pro-lifers" (they call themselves "pro-life", as if the rest of us are pro-death). The clinic was converted into a memorial for the 17,000 would-be babies that died there. So one of my friends went to Atlanta for her abortion. They actually offered general anesthesia there. I think it was $500, compared to $300 without it. I really wish I could have had the anesthesia and been able to sleep through the procedure. I mean, I suppose it wasn't any worse than all the other painful and degrading gynecological procedures that doctors just love to perform on women, but at that point I hadn't had any of those, so it was pretty traumatic for me (the procedure itself, not the idea of the abortion.)
When I went through a Christian phase in my early 20's I did feel guilty about the abortion and prayed for forgiveness. But I see now that it was the church that made me feel bad. I didn't personally have any feelings about it other than relief that I wasn't burdened with a child by my psychotic ex-boyfriend. I can say with certainty that if he ever knocked me up again, I would do the same thing.
Good for you, Moonflower, for knowing that you aren't ready to bring a child into the world and doing what's necessary to keep that from happening. Most people don't have that kind of common sense. They keep popping out babies because they are convinced that their parenting skills are superior to other peoples'. Or maybe they just like having little slaves around the house to do all the work. I suppose some people just love children, but I suspect many people have them for ulterior motives (to fit in with their friends, because of pressure from parents, because they want someone to care for them when they're old - all selfish reasons). If you just want someone to love you, get a pet. Children often grow up, move away, and forget about you. A pet will love you until they die. And pets are quite a bit less expensive (though vet costs are pretty high these days and I've spent hundreds on cat accessories in just three months! Eeek!)
Happy New Year's everyone. New Year's Eve is the full moon (and it's a blue moon!) so it's a perfect time to do rituals for our New Year's resolutions.