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Help for an energy vampire?

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Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Katrinkah » Tue Feb 23, 2016 3:51 pm

Does anyone know of a spell or something that could help an energy vampire to not need energy from others anymore? He is aware of his condition and is trying desperately to get better, but he is having a hard time.
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Re: Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Xiao Rong » Tue Feb 23, 2016 11:29 pm

Oftentimes I feel that the solution to energy vampirism is to figure out the underlying cause. I am of the opinion that energy exchange is natural -- we all take energy from our environments and other people, as well as generate our own energy. I have met very few true energy vampires* -- usually, it's someone who on balance needs and takes more energy than they can produce or generate themselves due to certain circumstances. This can happen to someone who is in a crisis situation, under constant stress, physically ill, grieving, being abused, etc., who wind up needing to take other people's energies. In those cases, it's about trying to figure out a way to stop them from losing energy so quickly. For instance, I know people who are in abusive relationships who drained my energy significantly. The solution for them is to help them get out of their abusive relationships -- once they get out, they don't need to drain other people's energy to sustain themselves.

For your friend, I'd ask -- are there any underlying issues that cause chronic stress? How do they take other people's energy? Are there any ways that they can regenerate energy themselves (e.g. walking in nature, exercising, creating art) that they can use instead? Getting support from multiple friends so that they don't need to take too much energy from any one person? Changing the patterns in their lives will solve more in the long run than a spell.


----------------

* There are a few I've found who take people's energy because they enjoy it and they don't care about the consequences or who they're hurting to get it. Not much a fix for those people, except to stay far away from them. If your friend is earnestly seeking to change, then he's probably not one of these people.
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Re: Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Katrinkah » Wed Feb 24, 2016 1:18 am

He experienced a lot of physical and emotional abuse from his parents as a child. His counselor says that he has cut himself off from his own emotions and now manipulates people to feel the emotions that he can't anymore. Most of the time he doesn't realize he is doing until I point it out to him. He also has a way of running your brain in circles until you are just so confused and frustrated. It can be really exhausting. His awareness is getting way better though, he just still goes into an energy sucking auto pilot mode sometimes.

I am having a particularly hard time because I am married to this guy. We recently found out about this, and it explains so much. I also recently found out that I am an empath which is like being a walking chocolate bar to them. After being married for four years I have found myself exhausted. I feel like it's a struggle to even get up and go to work a lot of the time. With our awareness it is getting better, and we do go camping and practice yoga quite often now. Although, I was hoping for something faster. I guess part of the answer is in me being able to ground and guard myself, but I'm not that great at it yet. I will say that we have both changed our patterns big time though, and for the better.
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Re: Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Myrth » Wed Feb 24, 2016 8:44 am

You have to protect yourself. It is obviously harder to do when you are married to the energy vampire, but you have to take care of yourself. As an empath, it is important for you to learn to do this anyway. There are things you can do immediately. Practice grounding yourself. Practice drawing up energy into yourself from the earth. Practice shielding yourself.

Shielding is incredibly important for an empath. Envision yourself surrounded by a protective white light around you. Set your intention that it will protect you and your energy.

Cut cords. Every day you develop energy cords between you and others you interact with. Cut them daily. How? Envision them. Then envision cutting them. I use the raku symbol to cut them (a powerful lightning bolt), but use whatever resonates with you. It will not harm your marriage to cut energy cords between you and your husband. It will simply protect you from being drained dangerously low as you have been.

Take care of yourself. Namaste.
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Re: Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Becks » Wed Feb 24, 2016 10:27 am

Myrth and Xiao are absolutely correct. Shielding and grounding are essential. For you and for him as well. If you have the kind of relationship that you can speak openly about things-then hopefully you guys can work out a code and you can lovingly let him know, without judgement, that it's happening in the moment....like giving a previously agreed upon cue.

If that is not the case you need to protect yourself. Working on shielding practice is essential. I visualize a crystal bubble more than a light. That's just my technique. I think of a membrane and let my energy go out...but it doesn't allow energy in.....maybe in some cases as an empath you need to let the membrane keep your energy in?

When in a case with a person who really is being draining I do the the following. I subtly cross my legs or feet. Easy to do sitting or standing and leaning. I join my hands together somehow and and while I listen I touch my tongue to the roof of my mouth. I slowly breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth either side of my tongue. This closes my energy circuit and helps me immeasurably. You can do this so it doesn't look like you are twisting yourself like a pretzel. :)

Here's the thing. You need to prepare yourself that if you do this correctly it may be that your partner senses the lack of energy coming off you. You may experience gnashing of teeth if you don't give them what they want, and they are having a moment in which they aren't particularly aware of themselves. I'm sure many of us have had this happen with a PV friend when you effectively learn to cut off the flow. You will see an increase in PV behaviour and frustration, but you won't be drained.

If you can, you may wish to visualize them tapping into the earth's energy and being filled that way....
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Re: Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Katrinkah » Wed Feb 24, 2016 1:47 pm

Ok it sounds like I'm on the right track but I just need to up my practice. I do cut cords but not daily, we do have a "safe word" but sometimes I forget to use it, and I do shield but it's hard to hold it up. It feels like a muscle sort of and it gets weak after being up for a bit. I just need to get where all this stuff is second nature to me. Sometimes I also make myself translucent and have stuff pass through me instead of blocking. This is actually easier for me to do and I read somewhere that empaths are so absorbent that they really have a hard time blocking. The book said to let it pass through instead. But I do try to workout my spirit muscle.

It's been tough though because we didn't catch what was happening until I was pretty much all the way depleted. But my husband has been very helpful and really wants to change so that is good. We also started practicing Wicca shortly after we realized our issue. I am very hopeful that with time this will pass and that after this experience I will be so strong that no one will ever be able to drain me again! Thanks you guys so much for your help, I feel now like I know exactly what I need to be doing instead of just guessing. And I feel motivated to up my game :D
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Re: Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Myrth » Wed Feb 24, 2016 2:44 pm

Glad to help. I too am an empath. And I was once in a very drained place with an energy vampire (though I wasn't married to him). Best wishes and let us know how you are doing.

Another thing I did around the time of my energy vampire is I took up Reiki. It allows me to easily tap into ki energy. I still have to ground and shield, but I never get drained down like I did back then. If it interests you, I highly recommend it along with the yoga.
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Re: Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Katrinkah » Wed Feb 24, 2016 2:50 pm

Yes! I have been wanting to get Reiki certified! I am currently getting my yoga teacher certification and that was next on my list. Lol. Thanks so much, it is really nice to hear from someone that understands what I am going through. I thought I was nutso for a long time. <3 <3
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Re: Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Fae » Wed Feb 24, 2016 11:53 pm

There's so much excellent advice here, I'm glad I stopped by to check out your post. I'm sorry to hear that you and your husband are in this situation, and I hope everything works out for you. They say knowing is half the battle, right?
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Re: Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Katrinkah » Thu Feb 25, 2016 12:56 am

Thanks, I feel like it will work out and that somehow this was all meant to be. Without challenges there would be no growth. And all the advice was just what I needed to for my growth spurt. Lol. ;)
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Re: Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Greek_Male_Witch » Sat Feb 27, 2016 5:00 pm

Black Tourmaline...they cannot steal your energy if you wear that.
What Goes Around,Comes Around!
You can always see my blog here http://zithiraxbookofshadows.wordpress.com/
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Re: Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Katrinkah » Sat Feb 27, 2016 11:24 pm

I will check that out! Thanks :)
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Re: Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Xiao Rong » Mon Feb 29, 2016 11:36 am

@ Katrinkah, like others have have said, there's a multi-pronged approach to this one. For your husband, it's figuring out how he can close off those "energy leaks" and regenerate more. For you, it's about protecting yourself and closing off your "energy circuit", as Becks mentioned. Shielding includes the typical "white light bubble", changing your body posture to be less vulnerable (someone also once recommended to me turning away from them slightly when you're interacting with them so that you're not always facing them head-on, and folding your hands over your stomach, which contains your "sea of chi/energy"), grounding, etc. I also want to emphasize that it means creating stronger boundaries on a more mundane level as well -- being able to recognize when you're being drained and when you need to leave the situation, having friendships outside the relationship, self-care, etc.
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Re: Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Katrinkah » Tue Mar 01, 2016 2:50 pm

Thanks Xiao. I have been working on all of those things and researching like crazy. Right now I'm reading a book about keeping all the chakras balanced and its been helping a lot. We are also currently going through a super intense yoga teacher certification training that is really opening our awareness and even expanding our emathic/psychic abilities. The first couple days were rough and I thought it would be the end of our marriage, but now I feel like its gonna help save us.

Lately, I have been more able to not let myself get caught up when he starts being irratable and irrational. I've been better able to stay calm, polite, stop arguing back with him, and let his energy pass me by. This has made a big difference because I have stopped "feeding the beast", and when I dont feed it, it goes away. Then he starts being nicer and more reasonable and appologizes. We definitely have a ways to go still but things are way better then they were 5 months ago. And we are both working very hard to make this work. I'm also starting to realize just how much of the emotions I feel are not mine. And he is learning how to better ground himself.

I don't know what I would have done without the support of the people on this forum though. Just being able to talk to people about it lifted such a weight for me! Gave me the second wind I needed to get my life under control. I really was in an isolated place with no friends, family, or anyone to talk to. But I'm slowly coming out of that too! The yoga training involves a lot of feelings talk and bonding amungst the students.

I really do thank the God and Goddess for finding this forum and for all the awesome advice I have recieved. Blessing to all of you!
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Re: Help for an energy vampire?

Postby Myrth » Wed Mar 02, 2016 12:08 am

This is good news! I am glad you are finding healthier coping strategies. Best wishes as you move forward.
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