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I hate being alive

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I hate being alive

Postby Rainbowkiss » Wed Feb 05, 2014 4:18 pm

I hate being alive, for every awful feeling I get I'm on the brink of insanity.
I hate being dead, it's like the world is nothing but calamity.
Being a human makes me feel evil and unworthy of love.
I'm plagued by nightmares both wild and fierce.
I can't escape and I cannot shed my silver tears.
Life is boring,frustrating, and brings great pain.
It's these little things that make me insane
I hate loneliness but love being alone.
I hate being an adult,sucked to be a child.
I seem okay on the outside but my thoughts run wild.
You can't trust anybody, cause human love is not real.
When you stare into another's eye's you are greeted by black windows
Black windows of despair,the devil which lives there.
Being trapped in a never ending spiral of cruelty and darkness
The thought of death makes me laugh or smile
For she is my best friend and I love her like a mother.
She brings me comfort and she loves me like no other.
I'm looking forward to leaving this world so I no longer have
to be Satan's little girl.
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Re: I hate being alive

Postby Xiao Rong » Wed Feb 05, 2014 4:21 pm

Rainbowkiss, I'm so sorry you feel this way. I don't know too much about your situation, but I've felt really similar to how you've described numerous times before. We're here to support you ... if you need to talk more, please PM me!!
~ Xiao Rong ~ 小蓉 ~ Little Lotus ~
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Re: I hate being alive

Postby Heartsong » Wed Feb 05, 2014 4:56 pm

I echo Xiao's sentiments, Rainbowkiss, I am very sorry that you've ever felt this down. I've hit this point in my life too. Please, please, feel free to talk to us, any of us, if you need an ear to bend or a shoulder to cry on!
Dance like the Maiden
Laugh like the Mother
Think like the Crone
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Re: I hate being alive

Postby Isis3Anubis » Wed Feb 05, 2014 5:23 pm

I too hate loneliness but only love to be alone. The curse of feeling I suppose. I suffered from clinical depression for years and can relate. Finding my path has been a great comfort as learning the mythologies of dark goddesses and the underworld helped me to understand death. Please try to understand that it is not the answer to the pain of humanity as many suicides get trapped on earth anyway. The key is to love yourself and get help if you feel self-destructive or want to hurt others.
She's just pieces of me you've never seen ~ Tori Amos
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Re: I hate being alive

Postby -Dark-Moon- » Wed Feb 05, 2014 7:23 pm

Rainbowkiss

Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time on planet earth at the moment.

Try googling 'existential crisis'

This might help
http://m.wikihow.com/Deal-with-an-Existential-Crisis

Happens to the best of us.

When I feel like this I immerse myself in nature and let her heal me. A walk on the beach or in the forest or even just watching the ocean, sunset or sunrise can be very healing. Spending time with the moon is also good.

Best of luck,
Dark Moon
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